Check out some similar questions!

georgecarla123 · Mar 17, 2007, 03:20 PM

Hi, I'm really at a loss for what to do I need some advice! I'd been with my boyfriend for 7.5 years, and lived with him for 4. We had a fantastic time together although I would probably say that his feelings for me were stronger than myn for him. 1 year ago he proposed and I turned him down - I didn't feel ready - I'm 25 but none of my friends are at that stage yet - so it freaked me out! He was really hurt but wouldn't talk about it. Anyway he broke up with me 2 months ago and I was devastated! 2 weeks ago he confessed to seeing someone else - someone he works with. BUt all my friends and family think this is just a blip on his part. He is still texting me about 2 or 3 times a week to see how I am and says he wants to stay best friends. I love him so much, and would do anything for him. Is there any chance for us? Or do I need to give up hope?

tinsign · Mar 17, 2007, 03:36 PM

LISTEN, the man has told you he is seeing someone now... do not continue thinking he will be back.
Yes maybe he will but also maybe he won't.. as you said you broke his heart now let him move on as you need to also.
You did show him that you were not matured for marriage.. but he is and perhaps he has found someone equally matured.
Don't set yourself up into thinking it is all an act because when you find out it isn't you will be devastated.
At 25 you had your chance with him but you wanted to wait for your friends to get engaged as well that was hun very foolish.. but you know that now.
Now please be an adult and move on yourself as well.

Teaching · Mar 17, 2007, 04:00 PM

I think it is fair "to let him go". It is the right thing to do. I am sure you will make the right choice.

EnglishRose · Mar 17, 2007, 04:05 PM

If all he is offering you is friendship then I'm afraid I think that is all he can offer you. If you feel all your friends need to be getting married before you do then you were not ready for that kind of commitment and so you can't really blame him for findiing someone who was. If he actually cheated on you than what he did was out of order and you are better off without him anyway. As difficult as it may be you have to move on. I know it will be hard but sadly we al have to do this at some time. Good luck x

JoeCanada76 · Mar 17, 2007, 04:52 PM

Unfortunally you decided to turn him down. You were not ready for that kind of committement. It is better that you turned him down instead of going through with something your not sure about. It sounds like he was wanting to build a future with you. I do believe that hurt him a great deal. You now know he is with somebody else. I would also like to say, I hear this a lot here. I want to win him back. There is not such a thing as winning anybody back. There is no prize to be won. Once somebody makes the decision to move on, you should follow suit as well. You have really good memories and had a good life experience together.

Know that each life experience is a chanch to learn something and always be thankful for the experiances that you already have had. Even if they may not last as long as you want, it paves the way for the future to even be brighter and happier.

Joe

georgecarla123 · Mar 18, 2007, 03:41 AM

Thank you for the advice. I know it all makes sense, but the thing is... I think this other girl was the reason he broke up with me. He got the 7 year itch... and she'd been after him for weeks. I don't believe he cheated me on... but I do think he broke up with me to be with her! I still think it could be a blip as apparently she is ugly (according to a friend who saw her photo) and she lives in a really dodgy area! He had such an amazing lifestyle when he was with me, gorgeous house, nice holidays round the world, a fab group of friends... who have refused to have anything to do with this new girl. Now he has nothing and no where to live. I know I must move on but I still want to break them up!

Shawk · Mar 18, 2007, 04:37 AM

Go out and have fun with your friends, ignore him and his calls. Forget him.

Don't talk about him, ever..

It will drive him crazy or it won't, in the end, you will have him back or you will have mentally moved on.

sypher373 · Mar 18, 2007, 08:20 AM

While the girl may be the reason he left you, I doubt he would have left you for another girl if he were engaged. Maybe the rejection caused him to fail a see future in the relationship, so he looked elsewhere. If you weren't ready after 7.5 years, maybe he was thinking you never would be, and he wants to move on with his life...

georgecarla123 · Mar 18, 2007, 08:32 AM

I do think that is the case, but I am ready now. It just took me that long to realise what I had. He knew I'd always had a phobia of marriage. That's why it came as such a shock when he proposed!! And I did handle it badly!

It's my birthday today - yes am sitting here on the comp sulking!! He sent me a best friends forever card and sent me a lovely birthday message too. His mum also sent me a card asking me to meet up with her for a chat sometime soon. (she lives 4 hours away - he moved up to be with me and said he's not going to move back home)

It's such a weird break up... as he won't stop the communication despite me asking him too. He is insistant on being best friends - but isn't this impssible after 7.5 years??

My gut feeling is... is that this is all a blip, but I know I can't think like this forvever! Am just sooooo confuesd!