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Thegp · Feb 10, 2007, 06:04 AM

I have been with a girl for 9 months and she has been perfect for me, I love her in everyway possible, She has decided that we were not good for each other and wants to be apart, she is leaving to another city in April with her son. I love her and can't be without her anymore. Please Help!

KaishaJayne · Feb 10, 2007, 06:09 AM

Has she told you the reasons she doesn't think you're good for each other? Have you told her how you feel? Maybe it's the time for you two to get together and have a proper talk about everything, it may help the situation.

valinors_sorrow · Feb 10, 2007, 06:19 AM

This may be tough to accept but it is necessary to learn. When one person says its over, its over. You will need time to grieve the loss of your friend-- and have some time where you won't be yourself for a while from impact of this. You can compound how difficult it is by trying to resist it but that is as futile as standing on the beach with your hands out in front of you trying to stop a tidal wave. Accept that she has ended it and let the grieving process begin. I am sorry for your loss.

Geoffersonairplane · Feb 10, 2007, 06:25 AM

I ditto val's advice and here is some practical advice for you to absorb as you begin your path of healing which is something you will have to face.

She will be in your head 24-7 for quite some time to come.

What you must do now to help yourself heal from this loss is to:

1.) Maintain NO CONTACT -- NO LETTERS, E-MAILS, PHONE CALLS, TEXTS, NOTHING!

2.) Keep yourself busy, go to the gym, take up an old hobby, spend time with friends and relatives, whatever.. Try to avoid alcohol where possible (it won't help)

3.)Try not to dwell on the past too much, focus on what you can do for yourself to improve you, as a person. Perhaps you have lost part of who you were before you met her. Try to establish what this was and get it back.

Is there a realistic chance of getting back together? Anything is possible but the only way it could ever happen is for you to MOVE ON and find a life without her.. Accept that she is gone!

It is over for a reason though and you must realise this.

talaniman · Feb 10, 2007, 08:07 AM

The other posters are right, she has made a choice and you should honor it, and a silent well wish is all you can do and also as others put it, accept this event in your life and leave her alone and if she wants to, she will call you. Anything else will only be disaster. Find a life that you enjoy without here, not easy but necessary. Good luck.

Geoffersonairplane · Feb 10, 2007, 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

The other posters are right, she has made a choice and you should honor it, and a silent well wish is all you can do and also as others put it, accept this event in your life and leave her alone and if she wants to, she will call you. Anything else will only be disaster. Find a life that you enjoy without here, not easy but nessecary. Good luck.

The hardest part is coming to terms with it and getting through the get ex back phase. It's harder for some than others but nevertheless it is a very painful process. Once you are through the tunnel, well I mean at least 3/4 the way through, you begin to see the light and it all gets better>>Trust Me!

I always say time heals the wounds and it really does>>Time and an appreciation for what you have, so many of us take so much for granted.

Geoffersonairplane · Feb 10, 2007, 08:22 AM

A lot of people come to AMHD wanting to know how to win the ex back but I am not sure I have seen it happen once yet if my memory serves me correctly. I don't believe anything will win your ex back, your ex must want that inside and nothing you can do will change that. In time, you may not even want the ex back, it only seems like it at the moment while you are coming to terms with the loss you have had.

Times like this are very confusing. That's why NC is very important to help you begin breaking through this confusion and beginning to heal.

Therefore, forget win back because there is none, anything that happens in the future is at the mercy of destiny and I don't believe you can control any of this.

kristynn · Feb 10, 2007, 10:55 AM

If you really love her, you'll find a way...

Yet, why does she say you're not good for each other? Does she have real reasons?

valinors_sorrow · Feb 10, 2007, 11:49 AM

I have asked those who were supporting the NC as a way to win the ex back if they ever had that work. They answered yes. I asked them if they were still with the ex. They answered no, they broke up a second time. I can only imagine how bad that must have felt.

If only a small percentage of couples ever get back together to begin with, and only a tiny amount of those managed to make it work -- we would still likely hear from someone here who could report that. The standing (so far) fact that no one has --- speaks volumes to me.

While I speak of being separated for a time and that it worked for us, I make it clear there are very specific conditions we met in order to make that work. As it was with all that we did, I still was pretty astonished it worked... since even that usually doesn't.

Time to get real about all this is now.

CynthiaEnriquez · Feb 10, 2007, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by Thegp

I have been with a girl for 9 months and she has been perfect for me, I love her in everyway possible, She has decided that we were not good for each other and wants to be apart, she is leaving to another city in april with her son. I love her and can't be without her anymore. Please Help!!

Talk to her and tell her how you fell and most impor. Of all lisen 2 what she has 2 say.