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Thanks amicon - I drove right into a low wall! My minds just not on the job bcause of him. Don't get m wrong I never had any intention of marrying the guy. I just don't understand why he would ask that question and then deny it to his his. I also found out he got banned in April for drink driving for 18 months too. Why does he say he loves me one minute and then calls me a sl%g and a who%e the next day, its like he had a borderline personailty disorder
This is so so true asking!! He plays me and the ex girlfriend off against each other, I told the ex girlfriend that I have the texts here to prove he is a liar and that he did ask me to marry him, I even sent them to her as I didn't want her getting her (before she turned on me and started to be nasty to me), she had a pic of my phone with the words there, fair enough they were blurry but you could make them out, and she still didn't want to believe me?? The woman has said that she has bad depression and that 10 days ago my ex sent her over the edge and she had to go back on these drugs. I give up with her, she don't want to believe what's right in front of her eyes. Ive told her she I welcome to the skankQuote:
Originally Posted by asking
You will never be friends with the ex, so stop trying. How many times do you get screwed over by this guy before enough, is enough?
I only contacted him as I thought I was strnger and could handle it but then he just turned on me again? Telling me he loved me and wanted to marry me one day and then slating me to his ex the next. Why would someone do that? I assume he likes playing us off against each other. Well she is welcome to him, he hurt my feelings with the nasty comments but it made me ralise that someone that says they love you don't call you a sl%g the next day however angy they are.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
I feel for the woman, but she is on her 4th warning and says she loves him??
But all these things,lies and dramas only matter when you let them. Let it go.
That's so so true amicon, you are so right, I never thought of it like that. I guess I do love him and he knows that and likes hurting me with the love I have for him. Don't worry il never go back, I only text him as I thought I was stronger and I am but certainly didn't expect the backlash received from him and his psyco ex girlfriend. Its like they are laughing at me now, even though she said to me that she couldn't trust him ever againQuote:
Originally Posted by amicon
Then go complete NC forever. Never speak to any of them again. Actively work on leaving all this c**p behind you. Only you can do that for yourself.
We're all here giving you the same advice-listen to us.
Il never ever go back, that a dead certain, I only text him as I love him and thought we could be mates but that's not going to happen nor do I want it to happen now. He couldn't even care I I dropped down dead tomorrow and that hurts but I won't let it get me down. Im going to have a nice xmas with my family and put this sorry mess behind me once and for all. Thanks so much for all your help, id never have got through this without you all xxxxxQuote:
Originally Posted by amicon
Good choice.
Have a great Xmas and a Happy 2010!
The same to you amicon, have a lovely xmas and a very Happy 2010 XXQuote:
Originally Posted by amicon
Some guys refuse to see that they have a low opinion of women. He very likely does. Guys like that never change.
I don't understand why you keep on going back for more? What is it about this man, that you need? Nothing! The ex girlfriend, who cares what he does, what he says, who he is with, why do you set yourself up for more and enjoy all this turmoil and drama. He has nothing to offer you. Why would you even answer him? These are questions you have to ask yourself? Way too much drama. You were getting so strong. I really don't understand what it is going to take for you to move on. Everyone is going to think your psycho for going back for more. I don't mean to seem harsh, but what Tal said enough is enough...
sully123, I've made a huge mistake trusting and loving my ex but have finally woke up. The one problem that I'm finding difficult and if anyone could shed some light id be so grateful. The problem is I just want to know from him why why why?? Why he lied, why he cheated, why he said he carved my name in his arm when he didn't?
I just keep thinking is it me, did I deserve to be treated this way, if I knew why he did this I could move on, at the moment all he is doing is slagging me off to his ex girlfriend and anyone else that will listen
Louise,you should understand that when we're dealing with the emotionally incompetent(and I'm using polite language here),no questions are ever going to receive rational answers. So you need to stop even thinking why and just accept that he's an idiot and that's what idiots do. He does this to everybody not just to you. So please let all the questions go as well.
Thanks so much amicon, I'm going mad thinking why he treats me this way. Im just so down, he calls me a tart, whore and a slag and that's hurts so muchQuote:
Originally Posted by amicon
You know and the people who care about you know that that is not true. He and his words only have whatever power over you that you allow . The way to free yourself from this is to just not give it any thought nor any attention. Just let it go.
Louise, I know its hard and difficult. I went through a horrible divorce back in 2002, thought I married the man of my dreams, and that I would grow old with. The sweetest guy ever, till I married him. He broke my heart, and I kept wanting answers, till one day 6 months later, I finally let go .I said I may never get answers, and will never understand why till this day. There is nothing I can do that could ever change that. But I have realized over the years, he has the issues not me. The man has business in the same town I live in, where I have always lived for 35 yrs, we both have. I still see him and now he waves, but he hurt me terribly. I know he isn't happy today. But I grew stronger, and can never go back. They try and flip the blame, and don't take responsibility over their own actions. Don't beat yourself up, you may never get answers. It's not you, its him. YOU just need to stay far away from him, and don't fall into his trap.Be strong.
Thanks sully and amicon, I don't understand why he has this hold over me, the one thing I know for sure is that I don't want him back, but why do icare over what he thinks of me?? He texts my boyfriend and tells him " you gonna have to watch that one and she is a cheater" why does he do and say these nigs to hurt me, its like he don't want me to be happy??Quote:
Originally Posted by amicon
Again you'll never have any answers so for your own peace of mind stop looking for them.
amicon and suuly, thank you so much for your time, I really do appreciate it. He plays me for a fool because I let him but no more. He wants me to keep texting him and I isn't going to like I have told him. It just hurts me that someone that I loved could treat me this way : (
All of us love unwisely at least once,the thing is to learn from our experience and move on. :-)
amicon, thanks so much, I tried to pm you but couldn't find a link, I just wanted to say thanks for being there for me hun, I really do appreciate it, ome days I don't want to get out of bed as he has hurt me so much xxxx
Try pming again tomorrow if you want to-and try to stay strong. It's late evening here in England so I'll say good night.
Take care. X0
I'm in england to hun, in lancs so I know its late and the weather is snowing for once lol, I can't find a link so il say thank you so much now for all your help and advice xxxxxxxxxQuote:
Originally Posted by amicon
Just a quick update as its 02.20am here, I've just received a text message from my ex's girlfriend mate?? Slating me, the text said that my ex has been forwarding all my texts onto his ex girlfriend? Why would he be so mean, the texts where asking him how he could treat me that way by the way.
Its been a wake up call, I didn't think he could be so low, the text from the unknow woman said I hope your nan is OK? (being sarcastic and just to show he has forwarded my texts), this is my nan that has terminal cancer, they are laughing at my through her, that's sick. Well its given me the wake up call never to bother texting him again and trying to find out why he has turned on me.
Right now he is trying to prove to his ex that he didn't ask me to marry him, even though she has seen the text she don't believe it, and I suppose me stupidly texting him and asking him why he treats me like sh*t don't help my case tbh.
Anyway, its really pi**ed me off that he could sink this low but I suppose shows his true colours.
He always has been this low, you just refused to accept it and wash him from your life entirely. Hopefully you will be angry enough, not just pizzed, to finally end all this crap, and stop going back to it.
I'm such an idiot tal, but I've woken up in time to enjoy xmas :D:DQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
I stupidly text him asking why he hated me as that was all I wanted to know, as I hadn't done anything wrong when he turned on me :confused
One day he was asking me to marry him and the next he was telling his ex that he never asked me and was calling me stalker :confused: I just didn't understand where he was coming from. Now the ex thinks I'm a loony and want him back, she has seen the texts to prove he asked me to marry him but she said there blurry and can't make them out, she just don't want to see what's in front of her eyes. Then tonight I get abusive texts off his ex gf's mate :confused::confused:
So quit trying to convince someone how stupid they are. Let this mess go down the toilet with the rest of the crap!
Why do I want answers tal? You seem too know a lot and be very wise, don't worry him forwarding my texts to his ex has finished it between us but why do I feel the urge to text him and ask him why he treats me this way??
Louise you keep going back for more. Come on, you have more respect for yourself than that. It gets to be an obsession with you. Why do you keep on reading the texts, from any of them. If you were strong enough, and you wanted to put an end to this, you would change your number, but that isn't happening. You keep going back for more. I can't figure out what you get from all this. Talk to therapist, and get some help.We wouldn't all be wrong.
Louise, you need another hobby that is not your ex. This is an unhealthy obsession. It just seems like you stir things up with others and then complain when they treat you badly.
You need to strive for a little more maturity, which means putting this behind you and putting your energy into something that will make your life better (instead of worse). Do you have a job? Do you go to school? What do you think about besides your ex? What were you doing with your life before you met him?
Partly because your hurt, and wonder why he is an idiot, and partly because you seem not to have better things to do. You seem to be caught in a cycle, and your hoping he changes, or show a better side that he has. But he doesn't have that in him, so you really need to stop looking for it.Quote:
Originally Posted by louiseismyname
Its you who must accept he is an idiot, and uses people. If you can accept a snake bites because that's what they do, you can accept he is no good, and hurting is what he does.
Stay away from snakes and guys like this. Now move on.
Talaniman Rule- Never stand besides a bush you know a snake is hiding in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Thanks for all your replies, well I've done as you all said and told him enough is enough, my new fella has text him and asked him politely to leave us alone and stop slating me. Anyway, that plan backfired as all my ex is doing now is constantly texting me ex at silly hours in the morning and lets just say writing very explicit messgaes asking my new fella what we are up to and telling him that I am rank and that he had better wear protection. This is putting it very mildly, my ex now refers to me as "it", he said to my boyfriend are you going to do ***** ti "it" tonight in bed, oh and by the way the way tell "it" I love her lol... NOT.
He just wants to ruin my new relationship, he says he don't give a dam about me but then why would he do this to me and my fella, I'm hoping to get a new mobile at xmas to stop all this. This things he says about me are just so graphic and demeaning :(:(:(
Asking, I'm looking for new hobbies but at the mo in England its thick with snow so I can't get out but I'm keeping busy, as I said above the ex is now targeting my new fella with really horrible and sexually explicit messages at silly hours of the morning. As for school, I have my degree and a masters and I'm currently completing my Chartered Institute of Marketing Diploma, I have also decided (due to my nan being ill with terminal cancer) that I'm going to apply to go back to uni in Sept and become a nurse. Im feeling more positive today and looking forward to a new yr and a new start, I thought it was cracking up there for a minute as all he does is play mind games with me that I'm taking no longer and I've told him that yesterday. I now just delete his message as mentioned without reading them so his words can't affect me and make me cry :(:(:(Quote:
Originally Posted by asking
Let the b@stard get the last word, and stop explaining yourself to this idiot. My gosh, ignore him completely.
That's all he wants is the satisfaction of knowing he can get a reaction just by pushing your buttons. Don't give him one.
That's what he wants Tal, the last word grrrrrrr. Im past caring now, he just upsets me so much calling me "it", how could someone turn on someone like this? Its like he don't like me being with my new fella but don't want me either at times
Can you block his number so that his texts are refused? You can on some phones. Constantly texting people the way he does is harassment. Maybe you should have a word with the local bobby?
I've tried that, may bloody phone isn't compatible, I'm going to get a new phone at xmas in the sale so hopefully it will put the end t all this hurt and pain he wants to put me through, I angrily (and stupidly I know) text him the other day and said "i know you want me dead and if you carry on im going to be" he then said to my ex last night, "i thought lou was trying to kill herself, god she is taking a long time in doing it lol :(:(Quote:
Originally Posted by amicon
I've just this second had a text from his ex saying thanks for getting me and **** back on track, I hope you have a nice xmas as I know we will :(:( why do they want to hurt me all the time. She knows and has seen the texts that he has sent me but still goes back for more :confused::confused: , I certainly wouldn't go back to a guy that the week before asked someone else to marry them lol, she must have a very low opinion of herself, that's all I can say. Onwards and upwards I say xxx
Yup-onwards and upwards!
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