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louiseismyname · Dec 18, 2009, 05:10 AM

Thanks amicon - I drove right into a low wall! My minds just not on the job bcause of him. Don't get m wrong I never had any intention of marrying the guy. I just don't understand why he would ask that question and then deny it to his his. I also found out he got banned in April for drink driving for 18 months too. Why does he say he loves me one minute and then calls me a sl%g and a who%e the next day, its like he had a borderline personailty disorder

louiseismyname · Dec 18, 2009, 05:15 AM

Originally Posted by asking

Hmm. Classic two-timer and similar to what people describe as borderline personality disorder, too. Always stirring the pot and playing people off against each other.

You are well rid of him.
Congratulations!
asking

This is so so true asking!! He plays me and the ex girlfriend off against each other, I told the ex girlfriend that I have the texts here to prove he is a liar and that he did ask me to marry him, I even sent them to her as I didn't want her getting her (before she turned on me and started to be nasty to me), she had a pic of my phone with the words there, fair enough they were blurry but you could make them out, and she still didn't want to believe me?? The woman has said that she has bad depression and that 10 days ago my ex sent her over the edge and she had to go back on these drugs. I give up with her, she don't want to believe what's right in front of her eyes. Ive told her she I welcome to the skank

talaniman · Dec 18, 2009, 07:22 AM

You will never be friends with the ex, so stop trying. How many times do you get screwed over by this guy before enough, is enough?

louiseismyname · Dec 18, 2009, 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You will never be friends with the ex, so stop trying. How many times do you get screwed over by this guy before enough, is enough?

I only contacted him as I thought I was strnger and could handle it but then he just turned on me again? Telling me he loved me and wanted to marry me one day and then slating me to his ex the next. Why would someone do that? I assume he likes playing us off against each other. Well she is welcome to him, he hurt my feelings with the nasty comments but it made me ralise that someone that says they love you don't call you a sl%g the next day however angy they are.

I feel for the woman, but she is on her 4th warning and says she loves him??

amicon · Dec 18, 2009, 08:13 AM

But all these things,lies and dramas only matter when you let them. Let it go.

louiseismyname · Dec 18, 2009, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

But all these things,lies and dramas only matter when you let them. Let it go.

That's so so true amicon, you are so right, I never thought of it like that. I guess I do love him and he knows that and likes hurting me with the love I have for him. Don't worry il never go back, I only text him as I thought I was stronger and I am but certainly didn't expect the backlash received from him and his psyco ex girlfriend. Its like they are laughing at me now, even though she said to me that she couldn't trust him ever again

amicon · Dec 18, 2009, 08:38 AM

Then go complete NC forever. Never speak to any of them again. Actively work on leaving all this c**p behind you. Only you can do that for yourself.
We're all here giving you the same advice-listen to us.

louiseismyname · Dec 18, 2009, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

Then go complete NC forever. Never speak to any of them again. Actively work on leaving all this c**p behind you. Only you can do that for yourself.
We're all here giving you the same advice-listen to us.

Il never ever go back, that a dead certain, I only text him as I love him and thought we could be mates but that's not going to happen nor do I want it to happen now. He couldn't even care I I dropped down dead tomorrow and that hurts but I won't let it get me down. Im going to have a nice xmas with my family and put this sorry mess behind me once and for all. Thanks so much for all your help, id never have got through this without you all xxxxx

amicon · Dec 18, 2009, 08:50 AM

Good choice.
Have a great Xmas and a Happy 2010!

louiseismyname · Dec 18, 2009, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

Good choice.
Have a great Xmas and a Happy 2010!

The same to you amicon, have a lovely xmas and a very Happy 2010 XX

N0help4u · Dec 18, 2009, 09:20 PM

Some guys refuse to see that they have a low opinion of women. He very likely does. Guys like that never change.

sully123 · Dec 19, 2009, 03:58 AM

I don't understand why you keep on going back for more? What is it about this man, that you need? Nothing! The ex girlfriend, who cares what he does, what he says, who he is with, why do you set yourself up for more and enjoy all this turmoil and drama. He has nothing to offer you. Why would you even answer him? These are questions you have to ask yourself? Way too much drama. You were getting so strong. I really don't understand what it is going to take for you to move on. Everyone is going to think your psycho for going back for more. I don't mean to seem harsh, but what Tal said enough is enough...

louiseismyname · Dec 20, 2009, 12:24 PM

sully123, I've made a huge mistake trusting and loving my ex but have finally woke up. The one problem that I'm finding difficult and if anyone could shed some light id be so grateful. The problem is I just want to know from him why why why?? Why he lied, why he cheated, why he said he carved my name in his arm when he didn't?

I just keep thinking is it me, did I deserve to be treated this way, if I knew why he did this I could move on, at the moment all he is doing is slagging me off to his ex girlfriend and anyone else that will listen

amicon · Dec 20, 2009, 01:11 PM

Louise,you should understand that when we're dealing with the emotionally incompetent(and I'm using polite language here),no questions are ever going to receive rational answers. So you need to stop even thinking why and just accept that he's an idiot and that's what idiots do. He does this to everybody not just to you. So please let all the questions go as well.

louiseismyname · Dec 20, 2009, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by amicon

Louise,you should understand that when we're dealing with the emotionally incompetent(and I'm using polite language here),no questions are ever going to receive rational answers. So you need to stop even thinking why and just accept that he's an idiot and that's what idiots do. He does this to everybody not just to you. So please let all the questions go as well.

Thanks so much amicon, I'm going mad thinking why he treats me this way. Im just so down, he calls me a tart, whore and a slag and that's hurts so much

amicon · Dec 20, 2009, 02:01 PM

You know and the people who care about you know that that is not true. He and his words only have whatever power over you that you allow . The way to free yourself from this is to just not give it any thought nor any attention. Just let it go.

sully123 · Dec 20, 2009, 02:20 PM

Louise, I know its hard and difficult. I went through a horrible divorce back in 2002, thought I married the man of my dreams, and that I would grow old with. The sweetest guy ever, till I married him. He broke my heart, and I kept wanting answers, till one day 6 months later, I finally let go .I said I may never get answers, and will never understand why till this day. There is nothing I can do that could ever change that. But I have realized over the years, he has the issues not me. The man has business in the same town I live in, where I have always lived for 35 yrs, we both have. I still see him and now he waves, but he hurt me terribly. I know he isn't happy today. But I grew stronger, and can never go back. They try and flip the blame, and don't take responsibility over their own actions. Don't beat yourself up, you may never get answers. It's not you, its him. YOU just need to stay far away from him, and don't fall into his trap.Be strong.

louiseismyname · Dec 20, 2009, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by amicon

You know and the people who care about you know that that is not true. He and his words only have whatever power over you that you allow . The way to free yourself from this is to just not give it any thought nor any attention. Just let it go.

Thanks sully and amicon, I don't understand why he has this hold over me, the one thing I know for sure is that I don't want him back, but why do icare over what he thinks of me?? He texts my boyfriend and tells him " you gonna have to watch that one and she is a cheater" why does he do and say these nigs to hurt me, its like he don't want me to be happy??

amicon · Dec 20, 2009, 02:32 PM

Again you'll never have any answers so for your own peace of mind stop looking for them.

louiseismyname · Dec 20, 2009, 02:40 PM

amicon and suuly, thank you so much for your time, I really do appreciate it. He plays me for a fool because I let him but no more. He wants me to keep texting him and I isn't going to like I have told him. It just hurts me that someone that I loved could treat me this way : (