Hey,
Well, what else i can i say. After two months of anguish, pain and sorrow, my ex came back and decided that she wants to give us another chance. Everything i've worked hard for in the last two months has finally payed off.
Heres my original post:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...how-63990.html
Anyways, most of you are probably eager to know how i "won" her back. Here's my little success story, and guidance for those who need it:
1. We were together for about 3 yrs. We had our arguements but we worked through them. Over time, i turned into a wussy, clingy, needy boyfriend. She'd try to leave almost every two weeks, and each time i would beg, plead, cry, until finally she left me.
2. Yes it hurt like crazy. I swear to god when we broke up, i thought i died. Emotional pain started to turn into physical pain and it was the worst feeling in the world. I decided to go no contact. I ended up doing no contact for two weeks. During those two weeks, i tried to do everything (basketball, music, chill with friends.. etc.) but nothing worked.
3. After two weeks, i decided to talk to her. She seemed really angry and upset that i was there. REALLY ANGRY. So we talked, and talked some more. It was an emotional rollercoaster. Over time, we went out and ate lunches/dinners, watched movies, talked on the phone. I let her initiate all the contact. I noticed that when i called her, she was irritated and mad.
4. So in the next five weeks, i noticed progress. I started being more unavailable, being happy when she sees me, i let her know that i was ok with the break up. Thus, she felt really comfortable to talk to me. She changed her mind from "no chance" to "we have a chance". In the last week, she told her co-workers that we might get back together and admitted that she wants to make it work.
5. Although there was progress... it was extremely difficult. It seemed like she was using me just to talk and go out with. I would come home hurt everytime cause she didnt get back together with me. It felt like i was a plan B, or a security blanket for her, and it seemed like she just wanted to be friends. I got fed up, and told her that i didnt want her anymore. I went to her house and told her never to call me again, never to talk to me again, dont text me, i want you out of my life, and i told her to respect my decision.
6. And it brings me here. After leaving her and letting go(which is so unbelievably difficult), she surprisingly ends up at my front door willing to give us another try.
So... what have I learned? And what should YOU do to better your chances?
Here's my tips:
1. Try to go no contact after the break up as much as you can. If you think they have some sort of feelings for you, contact at least after 2 weeks. If you can go longer, then do it! The more time apart, the better.
2. Do not call, beg, plead and cry. It will prove to her how right she was about you, and it will push her away. Everytime you have urges to call, ask yourself if your emotional impulses are worth losing the girl/boy you want, basically think with your head. There's a reason for why your head is above your heart.
3. When you re-initiate contact, make sure you've changed. Let her see the "new" you and don't look depressed around her, be happy and be ok with the break up.
4. BE PATIENT. Don't ever apply pressure. Pressure will make them run. Let them initiate contact, and let them ask you out. Be unavailable, be busy, and let them know that you are ok without them.
5. Be confident and able to stand on your own two feet. You don't need a girl/boy to make you happy. Whenever you see her, show her you're perfectly fine, that you're ok, its far more attractive.
Well, those are my two cents. I hope it helps. My prayers are with you guys and i really hope you get your ex's back or at least help you to move on. Thanks to everyone on this board, you have no idea how much i appreciated your help.
God Bless. Hopefully i wont be back here asking for a third chance:).
