Well I don't think I'm at throat level yet lol. Thanks for your tips... hopefully he is just CLUELESS! Still totally annoyed he can't even write a simple text message that he's thinking about me, how am I doing etc, but I guess sometimes you learn about people. It just hurts after a couple months of building a genuine connection up, for someone to go so m.i.a. and not even really realize it. It's all starting to make me loose interest.

I think that you need to ask him straight up, what's the deal. If he says he still wants to be with you be honest and tell him that you don't feel like that is what he is cummunicating with his actions. And if he says he doesn't then obviously you saved yourself a lot of time that would have been wasted wondering

I know how you feel, I'm kind of in the same boat, was in a relationship for a year and a half.It was all fine then whack out of nowhere she starts being dead distant, then tells me she's mega stressed at work and isn't got time for a boyfriend, so I decide to do the right thing as I love her, so I finish her and tell her we'll still be friends cause that's what she needs, she says no we'll have a break, so that's how it is we're on a break.she phones me everyday, but never texts me back(which I find really annonying) an we still meet up on fridays... well until I stupidly tell her that my ex has been txting... which didn't go down to well. An is going clubbing on Friday instead.But I still think at times we'll be fine so I hang around.Sorry for the long rant but I guess I'm trying to say.. If you feel like the guy is worth it, then give him the time and space.. if it works out then you'll be glad you waited.. if it doesn't work out then at least you can say you tried and he's the fooker for messing with your head an emotions.. and you'll come out the better person.

Okay, some of you may have already read my previous posts. But I need some opinions!
Long story short, I was dating this great guy for 3 months, and we were quickly moving into what I thought was soon going to be something more serious, or at least it felt like it, we acted like a couple, communicated like a couple, etc. About 2-3 weeks ago, he went home to deal with some family issues, and day by day I stopped hearing from him. Or I would reach out to see how he was doing and it took him 3 days to get back to me, but then he stopped asking how I was etc. It just didn't feel right, and I'm not naïve. Long story short, I told him I wanted to talk and that I felt like I was lead on etc and I just wanted to know what was up, and he said we would talk the next day, well the next day came and he never called. (This was over a week ago). His actions seriously came out of nowhere, and never in a million years would I have thought he would be the type to cut someone out cold turkey.

Now, I know most of you will write move on he's not worth it, I know that myself - in most cases. BUT, looking on the brigher side, we never really took space a part, and because of it - I feel like I want to reach out to him and see if he is interested in talking and getting back on the same page. As in sometimes S-H-I-T happens in life, and it can sometimes makes things stronger. In most cases I would never even think about reaching out to a guy after he has dissed me, but I have been out on a few dates etc, and it really just re-iterated to me that I want him to be a part of my life on a friend level to say the least. You know how you just have a bond with someone, and you feel like you are meant to know them?Like maybe this whole thing has been a miscommunication? (okay that's really my optimism talking now).

So what do you guys think? Men? Would it be okay for me to very platonically write him an email (or call?).. I know he should be the one reaching out, but I think he probably knows he has messed up big time, and probably thinks I never want to talk to him again. When really I miss him a little, and if ANYTHING, feel like I would much rather things end on a cooler level then to never talk to each other again.

Help!

I would consider writing him and email, more to get closure for yourself than to rekindle anything. Who knows what is going in his life, but it does seem like he's disinterested. Maybe.
Some people may disagree with this, but for your own sake write the email. Say what you want to say (but don't accuse) in terms of your feelings, that you miss him, that you don't know what happened because you were enjoying the relationship. Be honest (but not crazy). That way you'll know that you made yourself clear to him, and at that point its his turn to respond in whatever way he chooses. He may not respond at all, which kind of makes him an a**hole and then you know you deserve better than that, or he may respond and open up to what is actually going on. Be prepared, he may not write back what you want to hear, but who knows.

Thanks maria. I've decided I am going to write an email, just for my own piece of mind. I'm not going to sound needy but I will be honest and let him know I was enjoying where things were going and I want to know for my own understanding what happened? Nothing wrong with that. And that's how I see it too - if he doesn't have the decency to write me back or the courtesy, then I will be SO GLAD I found out he is a major asswhole now instead of a year into it etc when I'm sure my feelings would have been a lot deeper.

I just want to say to the men in the world, I don't think us women will ever fully understand what you mean when you tell us how much you want to be with us, love us, like us etc... make us feel on top of the world... then to end it suddenly with admitting that "You aren't emotionally or mentally capable of maintaining a healthy relationship right now, and it wouldn't be fair to either of us if you tried." What is up with that? I appreciate the honest answer, but women will never get that. We want to be there for you and work through your problems and support you. I would rather take things slow with a man who I felt a strong connection with then just end it because you aren't ready... well what about our side? I guess it just proves you aren't men enough.

Any thoughts or comments on this - feel free to leave below! Haha

I think it is just one of those break up speeches that guys think sound easier to the girl to let her down. Sort of like the one girls use to use ''It's not you; it's me"
Still isn't fair though. I would rather hear the brutal truth. I don't want to be with you because you...

I agree with NOhelp. It is just a line. Not a good one, but the best that the guy can do at the time.

Lol You women are just as bad missy.
The hole "Break" angle seems to be the favourite for the Women.
Least when he tells you what he has it's over(I'm not taking away from the hurt).
But hanging around for weeks/Months on false hopes, Only to get the I've met someone else speech.It's just plain Evil!

Don't be sexist. Females also make excuses for breaking up.

I would agree with hjpan mentioned above. Women are just as guilty as men here. Also, the truth really hurts. I know people always say just giveit straight but I'm not sure all of them can handle that. If someone leaves you they leave you, do you really need to know why? Obviously the reasons are not going to be great so why go looking for trouble or negativety. Just my take.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BMI

I would agree with hjpan mentioned above. Women are just as guilty as men here. Also, the truth really hurts. I know people always say just giveit straight but I'm not sure all of them can handle that. If someone leaves you they leave you, do you really need to know why? Obviously the reasons why are not going to be great so why go looking for trouble or negativety. Just my take.

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Good example: MY EX.

Yeah so I am getting over the guy who broke my heart a couple weeks ago. Things ended on such an odd note - over email, never would have thought that's how it would have went down with someone who I seriously thought could have been my sou-lmate. But I keep looking back and thinking maybe getting words out on email is better, because in person I know I would have yelled or cried and it would have got messy. I can't help to think though - do guys miss a girl when they break up or move on? We both decided we want to be a part of each others lives in some form, friends etc... but he has made no effort to reach out platonically or anything. I'm a strong girl, but naturally I wonder if guys miss their girls after they "break up?" because I sure as hell think about him from time to time and miss him... not even so much in a I want to re-kindle kind of way, but just doing stupid things like watching TV together.

Do you think he will come crawling back? Does he miss me? Or do guys just emotionally get over it right away? Our feelings were pretty intense. We broke up because he had a lot going on his life, etc and he felt he couldn't handle a "relationship" right now. Of course I offered to take it slow etc, but it didn't phase him like I wanted it too. I guess after watching a ton of sex and the city I want him to come crawling back...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by brkfstatiffs

I wonder if guys miss their girls after they "break up?"

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I see it like this if he missed you you'd know about it.. guys don't tend to play games and I for one am pretty crap at hiding my emotions.

He's the one who broke up with you, that means you are a crowd to him so most likely he doesn't miss you AT ALL.

MR. BIG is a fictional character but you are in real life. He will not crawl back so move on.

He broke up with you in an EMAIL! Get over him, seriously! That's not mature at all! He should have had enough respect for you to tell you eye to eye. Why do men think its OK to do this to women... Or who ever to who ever.

My 4 year ex broke up with me over the PHONE! That's not respect at all.

Some men doesn't like the feeling of breaking up in person specially when they see "THE FACE" followed by the line "BUT WHY..????".


Just don't waste your time thinking what he thinks or do in future. You won't get an answer whatever you do besides there's no point and no need.

So the guy who I thought could have been my soulmate ( or I should say that's the closest I've ever felt to it), broke up with me a month ago. We haven't spoken since, we ended on a note of him saying that he definitely sees us going down the path of having some sort of relationship. In my head that meant friends, and I was content with that since he was breaking it off doing to him having too much on his plate, moving back home possibly etc. So it is what it is, and I have come to be over it dating wise, but I REALLY would like to stay cool with him and be friends or something. He hasn't contacted me and I haven't contacted him in a month. I'm 27 years old, and I know there are a lot of fish in the sea. But he is one fish who I connected with so well, and it ended on a very honest level that I feel like I want to contact him or even send a little text saying "hey there, how's life." IS THAT SO WRONG TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON AND TRY TO SAY HELLO? He runs through my headspace often. I guess a part of me wonders if I run through his... in any way.

What can it possibly hurt... text first... if no reply.. wait a few days then do it again. If still no reply... then maybe rethink it.

Good luck