[brkfstatiffs]

I don't really need relationship advice, but I'm more so curious of people's opinions because it's been a good year and a half since I've been in a serious relationship.

I've been dating this new guy for about 2 months now. We have been hanging out more and more each week, really bonding everything is going in the right direction. My gut feels it's right. Our chemistry is great on all levels. This past weekend I spent a lot of time with him, met his friends, and we opened up to each other more about our feelings (he intiated that). He makes references to the future, or mentions things he would like to do with me, take me to etc. So I guess I could say prior to this weekend I was enjoying spending time with him, and after this weekend - my emotions are now becoming involved. Which is a good thing. But what is everyone's thoughts of when is the right time to take it to the next level? I do believe the guy needs to bring it up, but I also think you have to know in your gut the feelings are mutual. We act like a couple, his friend mistakenly introduced me as his GF the other night, which I made some kind of cute joke out of. But yeah... just wondering everyone's thoughts on this topic.

[JBeaucaire]

Define "the next level".

2 months may be long enough. Truly, we can only guess, you should know better than us.

But be careful just how far you make "the next level". There is still a lot to learn about each other.

6 months is a great milestone for knowing you are definitely see each other clearly. 2 months it may be starting, sounds like it is, but there is still a lot of courting behavior even at 2 months. By 6 months, you two should have completely relaxed out of that behavior and are being more genuine.

[cheesseball]

Jusat exactually what do you mean by next level? I think that you should just ask him one day what he considers you guys as... and if he says just friends or something like that I think you should ask if he ever thinks it will be more. Yeah your right I think he should bring the dateing thing up so just leave it from there. Say ohk and if he still wants to talk about it he will go on with the conversation. At least with this you'll know what he thinks about the whole situation. I hope I helped

[brkfstatiffs]

I have been dating this guys for 2.5 months but things are going really well. We are basically a couple, but haven't had a "talk" yet to validate that. We are both adults, and in my head I don't need a "talk" quite yet, but I am emotionally getting into the relationship a little more and more each time I'm with him, and I think he is with me too. He talks about the future etc, wants to show me his home town etc. All that stuff is there, but my question is... how do I let him know that I'm emotionally getting into this... I guess I don't want to come across as "hi, i want to be your girlfriend" just yet, but for now I just want to make sure we are on the same page with our feelings, where this might potentially go etc. Should I be the one to bring it up? Or should he? It's driving me nuts a little. I just want to know that when he is out with his friends, that I'm the girl on his mind and that 6 months down the line he want me on his side. I'm pretty sure I am in line for that, but I want to hear it! So guys, what's your advice? Go with the flow, or say something to him? I'm just curious on opinions, this is the first guys since my last long term relationship, that I've had feelings for so I want to play my cards right!

[AKaeTrue]

Go with the flow, in my opinion, it makes a woman look more self assured and confident about yourself.
Have fun and take your time while getting to know him.

[enjay22]

Hm... here's what I would do.. but, keep in mind, I'm a bit sneaky.
Meet some of his friends.
Get him out in public where he needs to introduce you.
See how he does it.
"hey, this is my girlfriend..."
Or
"hi, this is..."

See where he puts you in his world.
That might help.

[jrsg]

Yeah, just go with the flow.
But, when I think about it,
I am a quiet, nervous guy. My last girlfriend basically asked me out. She asked me, "do you like anybody." I said yes, she said "who?" I didn't say, but she asked questions like "what colour is her hair?" And yes/no questions like that. Anyway, we got the point, eventually, that I liked her and that she liked me. I asked her out at that time.

So, maybe this guy is like me, deathly afraid of rejection, nervous and quiet. Just do what my last girlfriend did. Ask questions about who he likes, and see if you can get him to say (admit) he loves you. Trust me, he does, he is just shy.

[jrsg]

And by the way,
Its sooo refreshing to see a question about how to begin a relationship. All the questions here are usually like, "How do I get her back" and "I miss her." It's nice to see a happy one. So good luck, and be happy that you are at the beginning of what could be a wonderful relationship.

[sandra6]

I would go with the flow too. I would drop little hints. It all depends on how brave you are. If I was feeling really brave I would come straight out and ask him if there was a future, but otherwise I would keep quiet. The relatonship is still in its early stages so keep going as you are for now and see where it takes you.

[losingit77]

I'm in a similar situation. I met this guy I'm seeing now about a month ago. 2 months after the end of my long-term relationship (4 years). And I don't really know how to play this "game". For now, I'm just going with the flow to see where it takes us. He talks about the future and is very attentive and everything so I think not having the talk for now is the best thing. Just enjoy each other for now and see what happens.

[JBeaucaire]

"Johnny, a guy from work asked me out and I realized I wasn't sure if I should say yes or no? I mean, we're doing so well and all, but it occurred to me I don't know if we've decided to be exclusive or not. I think I might want to be exclusive, what do you think about it? Be honest, too, I'm ok either way, but I'm thinking we could give it a shot. What do you think about it?"

[ka1111]

Why can't people just be content when things are going well for them?.

...

[mrchef1110]

Because obviously she wants more. Although it is just a title it signifies a lot both in the relationship itself and to the rest of the world.

Personally I would straight up ask him but then again I like the brash kind of girls.

[JBeaucaire]

Why can't people just be content when things are going well for them?...

"The only constant is change"
"Everything flows, nothing stands still."
--Heraclitus of Ephesus, Greek philosopher

[brkfstatiffs]

Thanks all for your opinions on my post about the "talk." I've definitely decided to just go with the flow and listen to my gut, which so far is saying things are going well. BUT... and this could just be my mind over matter... I feel like the past couple of days he has been distant. He's been the one to initiate hanging out and always calling, and the past couple of days he hasn't been as initiative. So I've been the one to initiate a little more, plus I feel like guys like that from time to time. I know he is really stressed with work stuff right now etc, but for instance... we talk everyday pretty much and Sunday I didn't hear from him, whatever I was doing my thing with my friends, but a girl get's so used to hearing from guy that I started to think did I do something wrong? And yesterday same thing, we talked early in the afternoon but the conversation felt akward, I was hoping he would ask to hang out at night but he didn't so then I got off the phone agrivated and wanted to see him so I sent him a little text just saying "if you're free later maybe we can hang" he said yes for sure but it would have to be late he has some stuff to do. So that did happen but we talked for a good hour last night, but at the end of the conversation instead of asking me to hang today or what my schedule was this week (he knows I'm the type of girl to not just sit around and that I have a social life with my friends), he just said we'll I'll talk to you soon. AM I going crazy? LOL. I guess I wanted to hear I'll talk to you tomorrow or I'll see you tomorrow. I hate feeling like I'm playing a game sometimes. It's like when I'm with him he does and says all the things to validate US and how he feels, but when we aren't together I feel like the vibe changes a little bit. I should just assume he's stressed and wants a little space right? I know I must sound like I don't know a thing about relationships, but that's not the case, I've just been out of the game for sometime since my last long term relationship. Thanks for listenting to me vent, if nothing else :)

[starlite1]

Hi Brkf,

This has happened in my past relationship as well with my ex. I wish I could shed some light on this for you, but honestly? I don't know either. Thank you for posting this! I would like to see how other people respond to it, and what there insights are.

[epiphany]

Basically I think he just has a lot on his mind.
In situations like this guys can be simple, he may just be focused on work especially if that is stressful. Since you clearly are a busy girl (like you said about your schedule) your BF probably isn't even thinking about it, he just thinks if he is busy you will go out and have fun with your friends. It's actually a good thing because he knows he can do his thing with work or whatever and sees you as confident enough to be OK and have fun without him.

Basically if he wanted space he wouldn't even bother to respond or talk to you OR he would just say it, he sounds like a mature enough guy who is just focused on something else right now. Doesn't mean you aren't important, that you did something, or that he doesn't care.. it just means something else has to be taken care of first.

That's all it sounds like to me.

[ka1111]

"The only constant is change"
"Everything flows, nothing stands still."
--Heraclitus of Ephesus, Greek philosopher

It's funny you quote a fellow Greek..

"Τα πάντα ρει".

[JBeaucaire]

It's funny you quote a fellow Greek..

"Τα πάντα ρει".

I married a greek girl, so that makes me half greek.

She says it doesn't work that way. I don't care, I say I'm half greek now. Deal with it. (smug)

[missbrightside]

In my opinion you can't know until you've said something. Ask him what you are, and where you would like this to go. If you don't ask you'll never know.