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Well I guess I would say.. wishing you the best and hoping you are happy and hoping you are looking forward to the new year... its real... but non committal .
Oh honey don't stress over it.. go out and have some fun.. life is too short for BS... really!
I just set myself up for failure after I returned my ex boyfriend christmas call... I spoke to him for a little wished me a happy holiday... Then I called back 3 hours later.no answer... I just felt like I needed to talk to him. If he calls back eventually I just don't know what to do.
I feel like wrtiing him a letter explaining to him now why I left the way I did (said I was going somewhere and never came back).
We were suppose to meet up after the holidays but I know it will hurt.
Let it go please, your just digging yourself deeper in misery.
How much deeper of a hole are you going to dig yourself into? You would think that after feeling like sh!t you would have realized that you don't need to call him to talk. Now you are back to square one! You need to pick your pride up off the ground if you have any hope of moving on and getting a better life. Please, when we say NC is the way to go because it works, we know what we are talking about because we have all been through it.
I didn't listen to your advice, on Christmas Eve, I sent my ex a very simple email to wish him Merry Christmas. No response from him, I thought that maybe he hasn't checked his emails. So on Christmas Day, I sent him a "2 words" text message "merry christmas". Still no response from him.
I'm not mad because he didn't respond, I'm just disappointed of him. Before I made the decision to send him the greeting, I've told myself to prepare for the worst and not to expect any return from him.
I thought that sending him the greeting is a classy thing to do, it's a happly holiday season. I think my gesture was kind and no harm in sending good wishes at this time, and I think it is good manners to return the gesture but for whatever reason he hasn't. When someone took the time out of their day to wish you well. It would be good courtesy to return those good wishes, even your enemy.
Maybe it's just me. I don't understand how guys think after a breakup. Can we not be friends anymore ? After all, he's the one that did the breakup, and it wasn't overly negative. My greeting to him was just something simple, nothing about getting back together. I think he's a pathetic loser. From a guy's perspective, why he hasn't respond, even just a simple wish??
I regret that I sent him the Christmas greeting. I should have taken you guys' advice. Now I had to pay the price for not listening.
Yes you should have listened, for your own sake and for his. Its called a break up b\c its broken... and you need to stop all this messaging and the calls and the emails. Him not picking up and not answering texts and email, is a clear sign that he doesn't want any contact, you should respect that! And you should stop tormenting yourself, a break up can be very hard and I have sympathy for you.
But you need to accept it and go back to NC and treat yourself with some respect, have dignity, do like Rome said and pick your pride up from the floor and be good to you...
There is no one pat answer for everyone.The NC thing is a great idea and I would recommend it but it is not for everyone.
There is no one size fits all when it comes to how people deal with relationships.
In my experience exes can be friends. It will take time to get there but it does happen.
Like the young lady said she thought it was a classy thing to do and she was right.
It's a gesture of sophistication.
And by taking the higher road she got her answer.
To loveyouall,
I am sorry that you took my advice if it ended up being something you regret,but I suspect you knew all along what you wanted to do... but you did learn something by that and I think now you can do the NC on your terms ,because you want to.
Many Blessings Michele
Don't be to mad, as we all have to cope with our feelings in a way that works for us, and a lot of times after a break up, even a "good" break up requires time, and you just can't rush it.
Friends comes after healing(?), and to heal, time and space, is needed. That's what he needs. He is not ready for what you want.
Read some of the posts here about trying to be friends before your ready with an ex, its nothing but misery, and pain, and a big misunderstanding of motives, and intentions.
talaniman: I agree with that, friends comes after healing and time and space! My x no one and I are friends, not close friends, but enough that I sometimes visit him and his wife and so on. X no2 and I will never be friends! No matter how much time passes. It really does differ from person to persona and relationship to relationship.
all x's can't be friends though.
there really is no one size fits all like artlady said!
I wish you luck with the healing though! Do take care of yourself!
Why would a guy cried when he broke off a relationship ?
Guy have emotions too. We are not robots. We are humans just like everyone else. Some guys just hide their emotions better than others. It was difficult for him too. Just because someone does the breaking, doesn't mean it is not difficult for them.
Does he find it difficult even he's the one that did the breakup ?Quote:
Originally Posted by jmw0713
Sure. Breakups are not easy for either party.
Maybe he still cares for the woman, just not enough.
Breaking up was not as easy as he made it look. Guys have feelings too, you know.
I'm going to give you a line from a song
"Girls don't know You think you're the only ones who show emotion Well I've been known to cry some too"
Just because we end a relationship, it doesn't mean we don't care about you anymore. It's just we don't feel the relationship is satisfying to us anymore, so we end it.
When the clock strike twelve tonight, I will pick my pride up off the ground and move on and get a better life. I will cut my ex completely off my life and will not look back.
Happy New Years to you! Good luck.
Right on
Right on
Right on!!
The best revenge is to live well!!
Happy New Year to everyone here. Many this year be better and happier than the last! May we all have a brighter future and forget the past!
Never expect anything, that way if you don't get what you expected, you cant' be disappointed. ;)
Peace and kindness to all.
May the New Year bring you all New Blessings!!
Heh, I was just thinking the same thing tonight. Along with the pride will be as much Whiskey as my gut can handle... Not to block anything out-- more to just let loose..Quote:
Originally Posted by loveyouall
All THE LORDS BLESSINGS ";)
To you all kind and loving people who really do get involved and truly care and go so sleep at night worrying about the people you touch. Thank- you and God bless you.
You askme people are really too cool :D
All Gods love to you
Say Yaaaa Eh Yaaa :rolleyes:
This is the year then for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by loveyouall
Happy New Year hope 2009 brings you all you want ;)
You are doing the right thing. He was playing games with you and making you miserable! Starting the New Year off on the right foot by looking forward is your best plan!
Best of luck, and HAPPY NEW YEAR to you! Cheers! :)
... all the others included! ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03Vkl...eature=related
Happy new year!!
Happy New Year! Wish I had the strength to do that!
Quote:
Hoping 2009 will be a better year for all of us!
Good for you I was thinking the same thing
Bring it on!! 1
You can do it, and you DO have the strength to do it. You are "choosing" not to do it. I'm not saying that it doesn't hurt. The OP is hurt also, but has made a decision! Don't let some boy run your life and have that much control over you. Cry you eyes out, and then get up and get out there and find out what is waiting for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by aszmhodeus
Happy New Year!
It has been 3 months since my ex broke up with me, we haven't had any contact for exactly 9 weeks. I thought that I have accepted the fact that our relationship is over and he has already moved on and let go. Recently I saw what he wrote in his blog that he said he loves me. After I read that, I have the mix feelings, I felt happy that he still loves me and still have me in his heart, and still think of me, but on the other hand, I'm confused why he said that in the blog. What he said kind of giving me hope again. During these 3 months of n/c, he didn't acknowledged my birthday, he didn't respond to my email of Xmas greeting. Why suddenly he said that in his blog ? I don't understand, is he trying to tell me something ? Or is this a way for him to let out his feeling ?
After I read his blog, I kind of wanting to contact him by sending him email or text, it seems like I'm back on a thread of hope again. What should I do ? What if he's trying to relate the message to me that we still have a chance, and if I stick with the n/c, that means I'll miss the chance.
When my girlfriend broke up with me, it took me forever it seemed to accept the fact that we were no more, and she was pursuing other guys. I would see her around, and if she gave me one smile, it would put me right back into the world of hurt, and confusion.
Your best bet is to fill your life with your friends and family. Don't think about whether your missing out on opportunities with a guy who dumped you. I know it's difficult to hear, but it's so true when they say "If it's meant to happen, it WILL happen".
Don't let him play mind games with you. Don't even let him know that he's affecting you. It's a great confident boost for him if you show him that he's still on your mind all the time.
The best thing to do is be happy. He dumped you, and unless he makes an obvious attempt to come back and try to work on it with you, don't contact him.
Keep your friends close.
The best thing about NC, is you have to do nothing. Just stop reading his blogs, and the false hope will disappear as fast as it came, and you will still be moving on.
If he is trying to relate that then he should at least have the guts to tell you.Quote:
Originally Posted by loveyouall
Don't get stuck with false hope , it'll just drag you back to where you were.
He may love you, but that does not mean he wants to be with you.
He left you and if he wants you he could also let you know that too (to your face).
Stop reading his blog. Move on.
Delete him off your myspace and any other type of social networking site. This will disable any type of reading what he writes and prevent the confusion.
Amazing how a hint of contact with the ex has you feeling hope again. Imagine how you would feel if you talked in person!
Until you stop being so curious and peeping online at him, the feeling's will stay stirred and fresh in your brain, and confusion will overtake good common sense. You can't move on that way.
My ex does this-Says she doesn't want me and wants to be friends. I tell her I can't I still love her and she says she understands and will stop and then texts me again---It's sick.
I admit I hang on hope of nothing-I asked her to tell me if she loved me or not and no response--Life is too short for games... We are the good people not the jerks that string along people for their selfish minds..
You're only going to continue getting hurt and confused checking in on him like that.
My partner is on 'my space' and not once have I asked him about it. He says it's his way of keeping in touch with his kids, which is fine with me. As I don't have a 'my space' page, I'm not even curious to know what it's about. I think I prefer it that way.
Don't get started on that track in the first place and you won't miss it, and it's one less thing to worry about.
My advice to you is to not contact him.
Here is my story.
After my ex broke up with me, I followed the advice on this site, and did NC.
One day, one and a half year later he contacted me out of nowhere. I've moved on at that point, and was comfortable with exchanging emails. 2 weeks later, he wants to meet up. I said yes...
And then I never heard from him again..
Until half a year later.. he pops up again, apologizing to me for disappearing over the summer.. and telling me that he still think about me from time to time.. telling me that he has such "fond" memories of us... telling me how much he wants a relationship but he just doesn't have time, and it sucks...
Well.. it was obvious that he was fishing.. He was leading me on, and he wanted me to say "yeah i'm fine with a guy that won't commit."
Well, I didn't. It's better to be single, then be in a bad relationship.
---
My point is, your ex may write in the blog that he still think about you, that he still likes you. But the fact is, he didn't contact you. So he doesn't really want you. If a guy want you. He'll tell you, he'll come to you.
Besides you sent him a xmas greetings, so its clear that you still want contact with him. If he really "loves" you, he should man up, and contact you.
And even if he does, be careful, and keep your eyes open!
Don't settle!
So don't do anything, just get busy, be more involved, and continue moving on. Also stop looking at his blog, in fact don't ever visit there again! You're trying to get him out of your system.
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