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Originally Posted by Cat1864

What is the ultimate decision you want decided?

That she only wants to be in a relationship with you for the time being and see where 'dating' leads or that she wants to spend the rest of her life with you and marriage is the goal?

I will add that I don't think the end of a grading period is a good time to add distractions like what am going to tell my "boyfriend" to the stresses of finals.

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I want her to decide if she wants to continue being independent and casually dating others and not be in a relationship or decide she's committed to this relationship, this is what she wants, and not necessarily say marriage, since that's a big big thing, but have her for sure wanting to be in this serious, committed relationship where our plan I guess is to spend a pretty long time together. So never mind, I guess yes, sort of a marriage goal thing. It's just getting her to decide whether she wants a relationship right now and is ready and mature enough to say yes, I want to be committed to you and continue with this relationship as it grows more serious and closer to possible engagement.

Fact- She ain't ready, nor wants what you want.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

No way, does this hanging out on her terms, help YOU one bit. It explains your position better, and her influence on it. Just me mind you, but not a good idea. For one, it keeps you hoping, and for another it keeps you close, so you can't do other things or explore your own options and opportunities for fun and a great time.

As she must make any decisions without your influence, so must you see things without her influence.

If your going to see her this way, then see others as well.

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It's a ride we decided to do a while back that I really want to do, and I guess I know how this all goes as I've been through it with her last year. After she has her space for a bit and is ready to hang out, then we'll hang out and from there if I feel like hanging out, I'll ask her. I won't hope, I know how it went last time and it worked all right and we eventually had a re-birth of our relationship and got back together. I want to stay close, just not too close that she can't figure things out on her own. I have no problem wanting to do other things and such, just I guess I'm not the type of person. As previously stated, I know what I want right now and I have no desire whatsoever to casually date someone or crap like that. Here's her time to have some space and figure out the future of our relationship. In the meantime, I'll stay busy with friends and work. I have no desire to date or see other girls in this period.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Fact- She ain't ready, nor wants what you want.

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I wouldn't go as far as it's a fact, but a possibility, and that's why were taking this break for her to figure out what she wants right now. Me and a relationship, or single and a relationship down the road.

Did you guys ever get back together?


How are things going with you two? Any Updates you can share... going through a similar situation except she doesn't want to date others.

howareutoday134, if you need advice, please ask your question in a new thread. That way we can give you advice that is appropriate for your situation.

The op may or may not be back. So, waiting for him to respond may be futile.

Just curious what happened in his situation... im thinking about making one of my own

Threads merged

So, I'm in a bit of a dilema.
My girlfriend and I have a very long history. We've been together on and off for 4 years. After being together for a while, we broke up for 7 or 8 months. I found out she cheated on me the day before we broke up. We got back together again until September of last year. She left for school, I moved up there and then she told me she wanted to take a break. Then, in April, we got back together yet again and things have been great since until last week or so. She had been stressed with finals and such and was starting to get a tad more clingy. Coupled with that was the fact it was really hitting me for the first time that in August, I'm moving from Washington State to Minnesota for school and it won't be as easy as we thought. I'm starting to doubt that the relationship will hold up because of the one time she cheated. I trust her again, but still bothers me when I think of being a distance from each other. I also am now worried about myself being lonely without a relationship and having someone physically there to do stuff with, etc. I don't know what to do.

The one thing, though, is that I want to give this a shot at least for a month in to school. But with how I'm worrying about it, I feel like it's hard even to get to August.

So my question is, what do I do?

What's her feelings about it? I figure if a relationship can survive four years through what you have been through, then you can work this distance thing out too!!

She is very positive about it and wants it to work too. We had a simple romantic date last night and both of us felt a bit reconnected which helped. Just really hope things work. My plan for now is to try it for a month or so, see how things go. If I'm still doubting it or worrying she's lying because of past stuff, maybe I end it. But I don't want it to get to that.

Had another bad development. She keeps getting more insecure and also got very upset because I don't post statuses about her on Facebook? What the hell. I feel at a point where I can't deal with little things like this more than once more, esp. if these problems are as big and I'm not even moving yet.