Exactly.
Don't worry about the 3%. Not great odds. Just time wasting. False hope.

Hopefully your next relationship will be 1000% Someone who is "ready"

Instead of trying to change someone or wait until they change, change yourself.

Oh, BTW, did I forget to mention to go NC forever..

Does nobody on here think that love is worth fighting for?

Love is worth fighting for if the other person feels the same way about you.

Love is worth fighting for if both of you are willing to put the same effort.

You we believe love is worth fighting for so fight for it but fight for it correctly... realize its over now... and if this girl comes back... it will be a new relationship... what she is out there looking for right now... as you should... focus on only yourself... dont talk to her for a month or two... if you love her or she loves you... you guys will do that... going no contact and moving on is the only way you will win the fight for love...

I believe that she does feel the same way and is willing to put in the effort

We were nc for about a month then she contacted me and wanted to get together to talk

Ask her what is the topic about. Can you take it? Will it bring any good? 1 month is too short..
I took a talk with my ex when I was confused, I screwed myself pretty bad being desperate.

The holidays are going to be so hard

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"I believe that she does feel the same way and is willing to put in the effort"

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Thats in your head. You can NEVER project others feelings.

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The holidays are going to be so hard

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As hard as you make them. Have fun instead.

Stay NC, be strong. Suck it up. Rebuilt who you are.
It isn't easy, but focus on what's really important, you.

That's the only way.

The hard part is I don't think ill ever find another woman :(

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Originally Posted by lonelyman123

the hard part is i dont think ill ever find another woman :(

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You really need to give yourself more time to recover. All break ups are difficult and we sometimes feel at an all-time low. But it will get easier. You need to be patient.

I wish that there was a magic potion too. But there isn't. Time is the key to healing.

You will find another woman. Maybe not right away, but you will. They will be better than the last girl.

It will be hard to be better then the last one she was amazing

Aw, geez guy, we know your heart is broken, but most people go through this same experience, and get beyond it, and have big fun, because we start to see how many females there really is when you stop focusing on just one. They are all fantastic in their own way, and in time you will find that out too.

Yes, big fun!

Maybe the past was amazing, but getting dumped isn't amazing.

But enlightening...

The one you should focus on is you. Then who's right.

Look after yourself and heal from this, when you're ready somebody even more amazing will come into your life.

Are you guys saying nobody ever gets back together?

If that's what they both want, its possible, but most people just get NEW partners.

Matter of fact, most people when they get dumped and heal from the break up, find better partners than the last one, and seldom want the exes back. Weird huh!

How do you know if that's what they both want?

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Originally Posted by lonelyman123

how do you know if thats what they both want?

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1) You already know what you want.

2) If the other person wanted to same thing, they will let you know.

If they don't tell you anything, it means they don't want the same thing.

You can't force two people to get back together. It will happen naturally. You don't need to search for it. It will come to you if it was going to happen.

Be patient with yourself. Right now you're desperately looking for signs that would be in your favor. You're in a tough situation, but you will get through it.

Focus on healing from your pains first before worrying about getting back together. Once you've healed from your pains, you will be in a better position to analyze the situation.

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Originally Posted by lonelyman123 https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_i...s/viewpost.gif
how do you know if thats what they both want?

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That's simple, they will be together.

But how do you get to the point of being together

By mutual consent, through honest, and clear, communications.

Thanks for the help guys I'm feeling a little better today

That's great news-wishing you many more good days.

Thanks amicon... im starting to get to a point where I still want her to come back but I'm starting the be able to handle the thought that she might not without becoming an emotional rollercoaster

I am sorry about the breakup, but before you can move on you need to accept the reality of your situation. You broke up, it’s over. Let reality sink in. Don’t allow yourself to harbor secret fantasies of getting back together or how she’s going to come crawling back to you. Respect that this chapter of your life has closed and tell yourself that you’re going to have to get over it and move on. It didn’t work out and it probably wasn’t meant to be. Accept that fact and move on.


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Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us,
but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person
who wouldn't give up on them.

Yes, so true.

Acceptance is one of the hardest parts, but a critical jumping off point to regroup, heal and work on yourself.

It's a learning process with time on your side.

You will get through it.

Thanks guys I have accepted that we have broken up but we are also working on our relationship... its not just me that wants to work on the relationship she has s said that wants too as well and her actions are saying the same thing not just her words... but some days are still harder then others

You both have to want the same things.

If being pals with no other expectations works for both of you, then do it.

If not, you are in for heartbreak after heartbreak.

What do you mean heartbreak after heartbreak?

Just an update guys... still doing good probably the best I've been in 2months... the days haven't been a bear to get through... I know that I still have tough times ahead but just wanted to say thanks for the support again

That's great news-keep going and keep posting.

Yes man.
Glad to hear it.
Rock on.

You remind me of me 7-8 months ago haha. Trust that no contact is the best way to go, keeps you from getting confused and the build up of false hope. I wish you the best! Them wanting you wait while they look for better options is the definition of selfishness.

Isn't it funny that once your feeling really good you all of a sudden have a break down :( I had mine last night after the post guess I got to confident

Hey man, everyone has their ups and downs. I was a wreck for about 3 months. Each day that passes, the feelings get slightly less intense. After a while they get to the point of being fleeting memories or thoughts. When you reach that point, you know you made it.

It's an emotional rollercoaster but that's normal,soon you'll have more good days than bad ones.

I just want her to want to come back :(

Feeling down in the dumps is normal but don't get stuck there.
Get busy and do something to cheer yourself up.

If you have the time, call up some friends and go out and do something tonight. Go see a funny movie or go bowling. Just do something with a group of people so you can stop thinking about her for a little while.