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I'm going to be honest. I got accepted to UCLA and she is going to a junior college and then transferring to a university. So I stayed back to go to the junior college because she was... wow I'm an idiot :confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Yeah, that was kind of dumb. Do you work?
I intern for an engineering firm mon-fri and work at the gym desk a few nights a week
Well keep yourself busy. Stop mooning over this girl. You are still young, there will be other girls in your life.
Maybe next semester try to go to a university.
You have a lot of life ahead of you. Don't get stuck on one person at such a young age.
Ok so an update.
I have been working on myself a lot the last month since we broke up (Yeah.. its been a month already) and have actually grown a lot from all of this. I have made myself look and feel better, and I'm starting to be happy again. But I still miss her, I miss everything about her and have not talked to her for 2 weeks. She is on vacation with her family and her birthday is the week after next. I know you all will disagree with me, but I would like to give the relationship another chance. If she does not initiate any contact by her birthday should I tell her happy birthday or would not saying anything at all make her miss me more because I would be out of her life?
Man trust me when I say I was feeling the same way. I know you miss her, and its going to take a wile for you to get over that. Just hang in there with the NC, it's a whole lot better then being confused. I wouldn't say anything to her on her birthday. I would just try and let go. If you guys are going to be together its going to be because of her, not because you text or didn't text her on her birthday. I made so many mistakes during our break up (trying to get her back) and thinking about her feelings and really wish I would have stuck with the NC. I honestly think we would have gave it another chance if I didn't push so much. Just try and move on.
What you think is going on?
We have very close mutual friends since we have all grown up together. And they told me some things tonight when we spoke.
They said she has every single picture up in her room... my hat on her dresser... notes I wrote to her... my jewelry to her... everything has not moved at all. They try and ask her about things and she will not answer. They said they don't know what's going on in her mind she will just change the subject or not answer. When they talk about me she just acts like everything is cool and she does not say anything?
Females are confusing arnt they
Dude, those stuffs don't mean much, well at least it depends. But don't make it a bright light for u. My 2nd ex is a coward and a weakling, she broke up through text, acted like a cold dummy after the break up and having fun texting some guy until she got clear that she's just trying to have fun and stopped, then she texted me. With all the bull saying she likes me, wants me to be her friend, there's one time I went to her house to talk things out, I found that she's still having the teddy bear I gave her to sleep with. So what the **** does that mean? It means nothing, she's just used to it. Those stuffs don't bring pain to the breaker, only to the breakee. I've broke up with my first ex and I am still keeping the stuffs in my room, no feel towards it anyway.
I wouldn't go as far and saying it means nothing, but I wouldn't pay too much attention to it. Honestly man until she says she wants you back, all the other stuff doesn't matter. I would continue with what you are doing and try not to think about her and what she is doing. It will only make things worse.
If she has not contacted you it is because she either doesn't miss you or wants to get over you.Quote:
Originally Posted by madb
Unless she contacts you, leave her alone.
I don't know if anyone would agree with me on this, but I guess you could text her with a simple "Happy birthday, all the best". It is something a friend would do, and that's what she said she wants you to be, right?
The point is not to be a pushy kind of person, don't make her miss you. Just be her friend, a little, not her best friend obviously. But I don't know if you can actually have a relationship with her again. It will just be too hard, and as mentioned by someone in a thread before, they got their ex back and wish they didn't.
Good luck
Its now been 5 weeks. I can honestly say now I KNOW she will be back soon. But when she does I'm not taking her back... I'm done. Now I look back since the breakup and see who the real person she is, an ungrateful person and I do not like it. Time to find a real women when I move to la for college.
So what brought this on? A day or so ago you were wanting her back wanting to wish her a happy birthday. Is she ungrateful because she does not want you back? That is her choice.Quote:
Originally Posted by madb
You need to move on.
Ok Its been 31 days no contact and been a month and a half since the breakup so for an *update* for how I'm feeling:
After the breakup I felt like my other half was gone and could not see myself ever without her. It was the worst feeling of my life. I felt as if I'd never find anyone that could compare and felt empty.
Its only been a month, but now I feel like I don't even want her back? Why do I feel such a way? Well I met a new, very good looking, and all around around awesome person.
I'm not sure why I no longer feel like I want her... maybe its just temporary. But next week I start college and she will be in my classes.
Any advice how I can act around her? I do not want to be her friend because I feel like I may be "friend zoned" and if in the future I want her back I'll be screwed.
Also I broke no contact only once, I did it on her b day (august 7th) to say "happy b day i hope you had a really good day!" and she replied with thank you sooo much. Then I didn't text her back
I'm in a similar boat... but I could not handle my girl being with someone else... why should she want to experiment... I did say to her that she should think long and hard, and don't do anything that she will regret... if she really does not want to come back then fine, but you can't go out, kiss another guy and then realise that I am your man...Quote:
Originally Posted by lagalagallama
I feel really sick at the thought of my girl kissing another guy... I'm sure the feeling is mutual...
When you see her be distant but polite.
Good for you, and thanks for the update.Quote:
Madb; Ok Its been 31 days no contact and been a month and a half since the breakup so for an *update* for how I'm feeling:
The feeling of loss is natural after breaking up with someone who was an important part of your life.Quote:
After the breakup I felt like my other half was gone and could not see myself ever without her. It was the worst feeling of my life. I felt as if I'd never find anyone that could compare and felt empty.
Its natural also to replace that person with another, and since your happy, of course you don't want her back right now.Quote:
Its only been a month, but now I feel like I don't even want her back? Why do I feel such a way? Well I met a new, very good looking, and all around around awesome person.
So what, your happy now. Why throw a damper on what happens when you see her?Quote:
I'm not sure why I no longer feel like I want her... maybe its just temporary. But next week I start college and she will be in my classes.
Look dude, you said your happy, and don't want her back, worrying about the friend zone is only confusing yourself for nothing. If you were truly over her and are really moving on, then you wouldn't mind just being friends. If you truly had accepted that what you had is over, You would be worried about another chance.Quote:
Any advice how I can act around her? I do not want to be her friend because I feel like I may be "friend zoned" and if in the future I want her back I'll be screwed.
Your either lying to yourself, or lying to us, OR BOTH!!
Then let it drop, you did a good deed, got thanked, and that's the end of that subject.Quote:
Also I broke no contact only once, I did it on her b day (august 7th) to say "happy b day i hope you had a really good day!" and she replied with thank you sooo much. Then I didn't text her back
Be polite when you see her in class, say hi, and go about your business. Anything else is overkill, and will only lead you backward into emotional confusion.
She was pretty honest and clear. To do so, and break up in a relationship is hard even for experienced people in this field. She did it great, no offence and move on man, no hopes, just you and new beginning. You need some time to go over this pain and after you guys may go back to friendship. But first things first...
Good luck.
First of all you never fight with a female. You'll never win.Quote:
Originally Posted by madb
"Out of nowhere" Dude she's been feeling like this for a while now. Whenever a female tells you that she only likes as a friend and you hear the word "SPACE" Its over dude... shes lost interest in you all together.Quote:
Originally Posted by madb
Dude this is a major problem. You spent too much time together. You became too familiar with her. You had no self-control, and you definitely wasn't a challenge. You probably spent so much time together that she never had a chance to wonder what you are doing, or time to even miss you. Spending too much time together is a big no no... Her interest level stooped very low.Quote:
Originally Posted by madb
Drop this girl man. Its over. Go NO-CONTACT... SHE CONTRADICTING HERSELF LISTEN... SHE MISSES YOU BUT You NEED TO MOVE ON... AND THE WORD SPACE AGAIN... THIS GIRL IS A LOON... DROP THIS GIRL... MOVE ON... SHE WANTS TO STAY FRIENDS TO KEEP THAT STRING ATTACHED TO YOU... MOVE ON DUDE.Quote:
Originally Posted by madb
Honestly dude she is not going crazy over you she's already moved on. Count your losses, learn from your mistakes, and move on...Quote:
Originally Posted by madb
We all have been through this.
I agree it is better to not get involved in an type of relationship with her not even friends.
If you want to still be friends that is one thing but to me she broke up with you so it should be your call if you want to remain friends or do NC. Why should the one who broke up have everything their way?
Thanks for all the responses guys!
I appreciate all the advice, and you're all right. Move on now that I'm happy because if I go back to her then this will lead me back to square one. When school starts on Monday I'll be nice like the type of person I am, but treat her like we never dated.
Well there we go, that wasn't so hard lol. You'll see that life is much better without our exes.
Respect her wishes right now. She wants her space and her own time. Your both young yet and that is only fair to both of you. Your emotions are flying right now and your thinking all kinds of things. Stay focused on you, as hard as it is. If it's meant to be it will happen someday, if not, there is nothing you can do to change things. The more you push and bother her and talk, they just go the other way. Work on you.
He said he moved on.
Dude... the best thing you can do is focus on yourself!
Always look to improve who you are.. in any way possible, whether it be physically, socially, academically etc..
You sound like a cool guy.. and you know the score - this chick is not meant for you, she's bad news.. focus on yourself, forget about her.. continue NC.
Your life is WAY more important than hers... you're going to look back in 5 years and be glad that u spent time improving yourself during your time of heartache.. it'll make u a stronger and more complete person... I went to Africa to help underprivileged kids.. helped me immensely with my breakup... if I can do it, so can u!
Good Luck!
Don't try nor move on. Just keep it casual :) Jus like you were in your kid daysQuote:
Originally Posted by madb
Classes start tomorrow... this is going to suck
Yep, and with that lots of parties and girls lol... look at the positive side.
I saw her today it was not good. She came into class and didn't see me and sat a couple rows in front of me. When the professor called my name she said "Hey bran I didnt see you...heeey" then I just looked at her and said hi.
After class we talked for a bit and she asked about my new streetbike and then talked about how she is much happier single and happy she broke up with me when she did so she could have summer with her friends. Then said she likes being single, doesn't want a boyfriend blah blah blah. She seems like a whole new person, acts and looks different.
Blah... just let it go man... she is pushing your buttons...
She knows talking to you about "how good it is to be single" and "leaving you was the best thing" is all stuff she is saying to piss you off. Such a low down and despicable thing to do if you asked me.
Don't pay attention to her at all. Let her "enjoy" her single life and her friends. You move along with your life and enjoy yourself too. Don't listen to her poison as its not helping you, but she feels good seeing the pain in your eyes when she tells you this stuff...
Thanks blackVY, that's a real good point. On another note the day was pretty good, found some nice new ladies in my classes that I can meet :)
Awesomeness... and with that bike, shouldn't be hard... Ladies love a guy with a hot bike... :)
What bike is it anyway?
As I said, uni is a great place to meet women, except if you're an electrical engineer guy... like me :(.
Haha... I know the feeling... When I was in uni, I did a Computer engineering degree... percentage of women in the classes was around the 3% mark... so sad...
But what me and the guys did was we skipped some classes and took some weird electives such as psychology and DAMN!! So many beautiful smart women in there.. it was awesome.. :)
Haha I'm in a junior college for this semester and there are still tons of good looking girls. Just need to talk to them when I go back.
And black, it's a suzuki gsxr 1000. Good for picking up the ladies!
That's cool... good luck with that... and yeah, a great bike always helps...
My friend has the Honda CBR 1000 I think... crazy thing...
I know it's sad, especially since there's more girl than guys in university... I guess going to parties and activities in the uni might be a good idea as I do have to finish my degree one day, I can't take just random classes lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackVY
LOL straight on brother.Quote:
Originally Posted by paxe
Third year of electrical engineering here. Out of 80 students there's like 2 women.
4th year electrical engineer... I don't even count the guys, and the girls look like guys... talking about odds. One of my friends told me that once we leave uni it's going to be much harder to meet women... well I think he was wrong. Since we have such low odds we'll get much more chance later on. Beside I do hope to get into some parties this year since it has been a long time since I've been single...Quote:
Originally Posted by Molecular
Yeah cbr's are badass!
2nd day of school and met 3 more girls... doing good, doing good! Hahaha
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