[madb]

Yeah fighting the guy is juvenile. But you are young!
Get your mind off her. Are you going to college? You may have too much time on your hands at this point.

I'm going to be honest. I got accepted to UCLA and she is going to a junior college and then transferring to a university. So I stayed back to go to the junior college because she was... wow I'm an idiot :confused:

[Homegirl 50]

Yeah, that was kind of dumb. Do you work?

[madb]

I intern for an engineering firm mon-fri and work at the gym desk a few nights a week

[Homegirl 50]

Well keep yourself busy. Stop mooning over this girl. You are still young, there will be other girls in your life.
Maybe next semester try to go to a university.
You have a lot of life ahead of you. Don't get stuck on one person at such a young age.

[madb]

Ok so an update.


I have been working on myself a lot the last month since we broke up (Yeah.. its been a month already) and have actually grown a lot from all of this. I have made myself look and feel better, and I'm starting to be happy again. But I still miss her, I miss everything about her and have not talked to her for 2 weeks. She is on vacation with her family and her birthday is the week after next. I know you all will disagree with me, but I would like to give the relationship another chance. If she does not initiate any contact by her birthday should I tell her happy birthday or would not saying anything at all make her miss me more because I would be out of her life?

[overayear]

Man trust me when I say I was feeling the same way. I know you miss her, and its going to take a wile for you to get over that. Just hang in there with the NC, it's a whole lot better then being confused. I wouldn't say anything to her on her birthday. I would just try and let go. If you guys are going to be together its going to be because of her, not because you text or didn't text her on her birthday. I made so many mistakes during our break up (trying to get her back) and thinking about her feelings and really wish I would have stuck with the NC. I honestly think we would have gave it another chance if I didn't push so much. Just try and move on.

[madb]

What you think is going on?


We have very close mutual friends since we have all grown up together. And they told me some things tonight when we spoke.


They said she has every single picture up in her room... my hat on her dresser... notes I wrote to her... my jewelry to her... everything has not moved at all. They try and ask her about things and she will not answer. They said they don't know what's going on in her mind she will just change the subject or not answer. When they talk about me she just acts like everything is cool and she does not say anything?

Females are confusing arnt they

[bswc]

Dude, those stuffs don't mean much, well at least it depends. But don't make it a bright light for u. My 2nd ex is a coward and a weakling, she broke up through text, acted like a cold dummy after the break up and having fun texting some guy until she got clear that she's just trying to have fun and stopped, then she texted me. With all the bull saying she likes me, wants me to be her friend, there's one time I went to her house to talk things out, I found that she's still having the teddy bear I gave her to sleep with. So what the **** does that mean? It means nothing, she's just used to it. Those stuffs don't bring pain to the breaker, only to the breakee. I've broke up with my first ex and I am still keeping the stuffs in my room, no feel towards it anyway.

[overayear]

I wouldn't go as far and saying it means nothing, but I wouldn't pay too much attention to it. Honestly man until she says she wants you back, all the other stuff doesn't matter. I would continue with what you are doing and try not to think about her and what she is doing. It will only make things worse.

[Homegirl 50]

Ok so an update.


I have been working on myself a lot the last month since we broke up (Yeah..its been a month already) and have actually grown a lot from all of this. I have made myself look and feel better, and I'm starting to be happy again. But I still miss her, I miss everything about her and have not talked to her for 2 weeks. She is on vacation with her family and her birthday is the week after next. I know you all will disagree with me, but I would like to give the relationship another chance. If she does not initiate any contact by her birthday should I tell her happy birthday or would not saying anything at all make her miss me more because I would be out of her life?

If she has not contacted you it is because she either doesn't miss you or wants to get over you.
Unless she contacts you, leave her alone.

[BlackVY]

I don't know if anyone would agree with me on this, but I guess you could text her with a simple "Happy birthday, all the best". It is something a friend would do, and that's what she said she wants you to be, right?

The point is not to be a pushy kind of person, don't make her miss you. Just be her friend, a little, not her best friend obviously. But I don't know if you can actually have a relationship with her again. It will just be too hard, and as mentioned by someone in a thread before, they got their ex back and wish they didn't.

Good luck

[madb]

Its now been 5 weeks. I can honestly say now I KNOW she will be back soon. But when she does I'm not taking her back... I'm done. Now I look back since the breakup and see who the real person she is, an ungrateful person and I do not like it. Time to find a real women when I move to la for college.

[Homegirl 50]

Its now been 5 weeks. I can honestly say now I KNOW she will be back soon. But when she does I'm not taking her back...I'm done. Now I look back since the breakup and see who the real person she is, an ungrateful person and I do not like it. Time to find a real women when I move to la for college.

So what brought this on? A day or so ago you were wanting her back wanting to wish her a happy birthday. Is she ungrateful because she does not want you back? That is her choice.
You need to move on.

[madb]

Ok Its been 31 days no contact and been a month and a half since the breakup so for an *update* for how I'm feeling:

After the breakup I felt like my other half was gone and could not see myself ever without her. It was the worst feeling of my life. I felt as if I'd never find anyone that could compare and felt empty.

Its only been a month, but now I feel like I don't even want her back? Why do I feel such a way? Well I met a new, very good looking, and all around around awesome person.


I'm not sure why I no longer feel like I want her... maybe its just temporary. But next week I start college and she will be in my classes.

Any advice how I can act around her? I do not want to be her friend because I feel like I may be "friend zoned" and if in the future I want her back I'll be screwed.


Also I broke no contact only once, I did it on her b day (august 7th) to say "happy b day i hope you had a really good day!" and she replied with thank you sooo much. Then I didn't text her back

[The Captain]

Yea I am in a similar situation, my girl broke up with me about 2 months ago, and I get texts fairly often saying I miss you and love you and hate sleeping alone. Then I go after her and try to hang out and she backs off and ignores me for a few days. You need to back off and let her have that space. If there is another guy then there is another guy, its not the end of the world. Most likely if there is one it is just her experimenting and is a rebound, 90% of them don't work out and sometimes it gets you back together more quickly. You need to act like you don't care if she does, make her think you have moved on. Don't go out of your way to make her jealous, but act kinda distant and always like you are doing something. Make her feel like she is losing you, and she will come back.

I'm in a similar boat... but I could not handle my girl being with someone else... why should she want to experiment... I did say to her that she should think long and hard, and don't do anything that she will regret... if she really does not want to come back then fine, but you can't go out, kiss another guy and then realise that I am your man...

I feel really sick at the thought of my girl kissing another guy... I'm sure the feeling is mutual...

[amicon]

When you see her be distant but polite.

[talaniman]

Madb; Ok Its been 31 days no contact and been a month and a half since the breakup so for an *update* for how I'm feeling:

Good for you, and thanks for the update.

After the breakup I felt like my other half was gone and could not see myself ever without her. It was the worst feeling of my life. I felt as if I'd never find anyone that could compare and felt empty.

The feeling of loss is natural after breaking up with someone who was an important part of your life.

Its only been a month, but now I feel like I don't even want her back? Why do I feel such a way? Well I met a new, very good looking, and all around around awesome person.

Its natural also to replace that person with another, and since your happy, of course you don't want her back right now.

I'm not sure why I no longer feel like I want her... maybe its just temporary. But next week I start college and she will be in my classes.

So what, your happy now. Why throw a damper on what happens when you see her?

Any advice how I can act around her? I do not want to be her friend because I feel like I may be "friend zoned" and if in the future I want her back I'll be screwed.

Look dude, you said your happy, and don't want her back, worrying about the friend zone is only confusing yourself for nothing. If you were truly over her and are really moving on, then you wouldn't mind just being friends. If you truly had accepted that what you had is over, You would be worried about another chance.

Your either lying to yourself, or lying to us, OR BOTH!!

Also I broke no contact only once, I did it on her b day (august 7th) to say "happy b day i hope you had a really good day!" and she replied with thank you sooo much. Then I didn't text her back

Then let it drop, you did a good deed, got thanked, and that's the end of that subject.

Be polite when you see her in class, say hi, and go about your business. Anything else is overkill, and will only lead you backward into emotional confusion.

[Zlata]

She was pretty honest and clear. To do so, and break up in a relationship is hard even for experienced people in this field. She did it great, no offence and move on man, no hopes, just you and new beginning. You need some time to go over this pain and after you guys may go back to friendship. But first things first...

Good luck.

[Sweet_Guy23]

Ok so my girlfriend and I have been absolute best friends and in love for 2 years. Everything was fine but we sometimes fought no big deal.

First of all you never fight with a female. You'll never win.

We graduated from highschool this month and I went on vacation for a week with my family. Came back and it was all fine. Last monday night she told me out of nowhere she only likes me as a friend now and needs space.

"Out of nowhere" Dude she's been feeling like this for a while now. Whenever a female tells you that she only likes as a friend and you hear the word "SPACE" Its over dude... shes lost interest in you all together.

I told her she needs her space because for like a year and a half she never has spent time with friends, just lived a life consumed with me.

Dude this is a major problem. You spent too much time together. You became too familiar with her. You had no self-control, and you definitely wasn't a challenge. You probably spent so much time together that she never had a chance to wonder what you are doing, or time to even miss you. Spending too much time together is a big no no... Her interest level stooped very low.

I went and talked to her 3 times since last monday and she still says the same things. That she hasnt eaten all week and misses me but we need to move on and needs space and if its meant to be its meant to be. I talked to her on myspace and she told me she needs me in her life as a friend and i told her I need her to be my women or nothing.

Drop this girl man. Its over. Go NO-CONTACT... SHE CONTRADICTING HERSELF LISTEN... SHE MISSES YOU BUT You NEED TO MOVE ON... AND THE WORD SPACE AGAIN... THIS GIRL IS A LOON... DROP THIS GIRL... MOVE ON... SHE WANTS TO STAY FRIENDS TO KEEP THAT STRING ATTACHED TO YOU... MOVE ON DUDE.

What do I do? I know I need to cut off contact and hopefully she goes crazy wondering what I'm doing because she is used to being with me 24/7 and comes back. Any advice or input is much appreciated, thank you.

Honestly dude she is not going crazy over you she's already moved on. Count your losses, learn from your mistakes, and move on...

We all have been through this.

[N0help4u]

I agree it is better to not get involved in an type of relationship with her not even friends.

If you want to still be friends that is one thing but to me she broke up with you so it should be your call if you want to remain friends or do NC. Why should the one who broke up have everything their way?