Just leave him alone for awhile. No cantact whatsoever! Then after a few months, he'll come crawling back!
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"I have a rock garden. Last week, three of them died."
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Just leave him alone for awhile. No cantact whatsoever! Then after a few months, he'll come crawling back!
_________________
"I have a rock garden. Last week, three of them died."
NOQuote:
Originally Posted by loveyouall
Be honest with yourself , you are just wanting some contact.
Stay No Contact!!
Don't tell him!
It has been exactly 5 weeks of no contact, although I’m feeling less pain now, but I still keep thinking of him and miss him, always wonder what’s he doing, whether he would be thinking about me, etc. There are times that I have the urge to send him email or text message to ‘say hello’, but I’m afraid to do it cause I’m not sure if I should or not. I tried very hard to not to think of him, but the thought just come so nature. I still love him and I know that he still love me, and our breakup was through mutual agreement, it wasn’t a nasty breakup. Any advice ?
What would you hope to get out of contact with him?
Hi
I think that depends why you split up?
Its natural to wonder what your ex is doing and how they are as you shared something special. Those thoughts would always be there to a certain extent but would pass in time. You could always wait abit longer to see how you feel. 5 weeks isn't that long although I'm sure it feels like it.
On the other hand if you really think you could make a go of things again and really love him then I would consider making some sort of contact. Just think seriously if that is what would be best for you in the long run.
Maybe send him a text asking how he is. Don't talk about the relationship though. Keep it light hearted and let him know your doing well.
Hope it turns out good. Let me know how it goes.
Xx
Keep No Contact!
It has been almost 6 weeks since no contact with my ex. Since Christmas is coming, I want to send him a email or text to wish him Merry Christmas and see how is he doing, but I won't talk about the relationship. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to do that, and not really sure what to say in the email other than 'Merry Christmas'. Any advice ?
What do you hope to get out of contact?
Why did you break up in the first place? Did you initiate it or did he?
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Bad Bad Bad idea!! Its tough but you honestly aren't fooling any one but yourself.
You are just trying to get him to contact you again. Stay on tract, as this time of year is rough on broken up couples, with a history of sharing holidays together. In your case many.
You should not contact your ex-boyfriend, unless you think he is still interested in getting back together.
Depends on who broke the relationship. If u broke it. Then you may send a frendly, Xmas greeting but not too emotional. If he misses you he will jump back a reply.
If he broke it off. Then don't contact him, no Xmas greetings, nothing.
Every time you contact a guy after breakup, even if it is simply a holiday wish, it gives them power, a chance to hurt or abuse you again.
It seems to me like you want him back and the Xmas greeting is just a way to reconnect with him. Don't do it.
In the holiday time people miss their loved ones, that is natural, I have been there.
But if he has hurt you in the past, it is better to move on. Send the greeting to a friends or cousin. Help out the needy during the holidays, homeless, orphans... u will feel better and maybe you will meet someone special while voluteering.
Holidays are also a time when new love happens. Let it.
Nope, it's the holiday season, don't waste it by sending e-mails to people who will only bring you down if he doesn't respond. This just another way to try and contact him.
It's the holidays, I am more than prepared for all of the recent break up victims to be on asking if they should send a card or e-mail to "be nice"
I would say do not text him. It will be hard for me not to text mine as well. We can pinky swear on it.
However I was thinking of sending him this...
Men's Underwear Repair Kit : Fix It on the Fly!
If you do contact her, 6 weeks of healing is going to go down the drain.I contacted my ex after a month of nc, after talking to her it felt I was starting all over again,Couldnot go to sleep etc etc.I am sure you don't want thatQuote:
Originally Posted by loveyouall
Well you more then likely don't need too contact him.Cause if you do it's not going to turn out well at all.If he was the one that left you then contacting him even just too say merry x-mas is not a good idea.He'll write back and then without a warning the conversation. Will turn too why you too broke up.And that talk never turns out well.But if you were the one too leave him then I really don't see anything wrong with sending him a little hi saying merry x-mas but then again he might not like it too much.Just be careful and choose wisely.
Let it be he'll contact you if he cares, and then keep it simple stupid and protect your heart.
Never worth it... I am sure he knows it is Christmas or the holidays, so he doesn't need a warm wish from you. Holidays are about happiness, not feeling down or depressed because you made the same mistake again. Don't use this as an excuse to start all over. Keep moving forward and NEVER look back.
Did he break up with you? If he did, then leave it alone
The break up was mutual according to the OP. I would not contact him. You are trying hard to get over it (naturally), and contacting him would set your 5 weeks of healing back to square one most likely. Keep moving forward. Carry on...Quote:
Originally Posted by 9Lives
I just think until you are over that person it is best to not contact them. If don't care how they act, that's one thing but if your heart is still in it... I would stay away.
The urge WILL go. I've been in the same position and in some ways still am. What you have to remember is this... Your only wanting to contact him to reassure yourself. Ovcourse he's thinking about you. Us guys can't switch off that easy. And the thing is... he'll be wondering what your doing. This sat will be 4 weeks no contact for me but I haven't seen my ex in longer than that. We ended mutually but after time I felt like you... I contacted and just got let down at the end of it because I guess I came across needy. SO NO CONTACT! Trust me. :)
It is great to hear a man point of view. I ask him not to call me even though I wish he would. I know it is stupid but that is how I feel. He doesn't have my phone number but he does have my email and home address so he could if he really wanted to go there. I still say until you are over it... dont contact the ex. You are leaving yourself wide open.Quote:
Originally Posted by adamross
I can't do it.
It's hard to let go but if you were to contact him you'll never heal. It is normal to feel the way you do because the break-up is fresh.
Whenever thoughts of him creep into your mind, try to change your trail of thought to something els but whatever you do DON'T give into your urge and call him. Stay strong!
I won't lie, I know from personal experience that a mere 5 weeks is NOT ENOUGH TIME, Not enough at all. Wait until that love fades a little more so your both more likely to keep your heads cool.
Break ups are really hard and its normal to miss him just stay strong.
If he feels the same way he will contact you. Which you should let him do because if you try to contact him and he doesn't feel the same way it will hurt even worse than it does now..
You are really probably feeling lonely due to the time of year we are in. Just hang with family and friends now and hunker down until the holidays have passed. You don't need to get in touch with him, as it will just darken your mood. Quick fixes lead to heavy hearts in this situation.
I swear me and you are in the SAME SITUATION, same amount of years together and everything. I'm sending my ex b/f a SIMPLE friendly christmas card this year. Let it be a reminder you still care even as a friend. Just take baby steps. Don't rush into things. Keep yourself busy in the meantime. Best of luck to you!!
you should let it be. Don't send your x a greeting. You might just sett yourself up and cause more trouble for yourself then anything! And like KC said, it's a time to be happy, not stressed out by x's and all the emotions that brings with it.
do the both of you a favor and let it be.
Yeah but his parents sent me one... I haven't sent my card out yet to him. And I feel like since I broke it up I need to show him how much I care... I am wrong?? That's y I'm here!
Yeah, that's just what a guy needs for Christmas , false hope. To be fair though what ever you do will cause confusion.
You two do not owe each other anything. He knows you care, and doesn't need to be caught up in confusing signs from you by you contacting him. Let it be...Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveStoned
I swear the no contact thing is freaking killing me. We went to talking to each other after the break up to now this... him not calling for days... I posted the story elsewhere. But I'll just let it be.
Its going to hurt either way, but No Contact, hard as it is, will let you avoid, confusion, and second guessing what's on his mind, and yours, as healing can take place, which takes TIME!
NC is emotional detox. You are addicted to someone, so it is important to become un-addicted. Imagine being an alcoholic in rehab (although that is a much more serious situation). You think they have it easy? It is the same with going NC, you are slowly becoming less and less attached to a person. Hard, yep. Worth it, OF COURSE. It is the ONLY way to get through this.
I have been thinking that although we may have parted our ways and moved ahead in life, doesn't matter who did the breakup, but there's no reason not to wish the ex-love a joyful time on Christmas.Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveStoned
I think I'm going to send my ex a simple friendly email to wish him a merry Christmas, and give him my regard. I hope I'm doing the right thing. Wish me luck!!
My ex called me to wish me a Merry Christmas. I returned his call and broke the no contact of 2 weeks. I feel like I'm going to die. I feel like writing him a letter just telling him I accept this break up as of today and for him not to contat me for anything because I will not answer his calls. What he says an does one days changes in days. Should I write him a hand written letter?
No, don't write anything. Just let your actions do the talking. Change your number if you have to.
Oh and 2 weeks ago he did mention to me that "if i wanted to he will drop off my stuff for me" and that maybe we can talk about thing... But I feel like just telling him to cancel everything.
He knows how to contact you as well right?
If he hasn't maybe its because he is trying the no contact thing.
Honey if I was you and I still cared about someone I would do it. Not to get back together but just to let that person know you still care.We are often too afraid to reach out if we think we will be rejected but sometimes you just reach out because it feels right.
Thinking of you at this time of the year and I hope you are well. Its no biggie,I'm done with you but I care.. so what?
Sometimes we can be mature and move on without being dramatic and getting re- involved.
I'm not on the same page with people here but I would do if it was me..
Many blessings.. Michele
Quote:
Originally Posted by artlady
Any advice for me of what to say in the email to him to let him know that I care about him, other than just say "wish him merry christmas and happy new year"? Of course nothing about relationship.
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