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-   -   Help, 4 year relationship seriously on the rocks! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=500848)

  • Dec 27, 2010, 03:35 PM
    talaniman

    Yes, break ups are a very hard pill to swallow. They suck, but your persistence for answers is what keeps you stuck in this emotional limbo, because any answer you get to your questions will only lead to more, when its as simple as her feelings changed. Many times none of us has a clue as to why our feelings change, they just do.

    Once you change your focus from her to you, and forget the entitlements, then you move forward, and slowly put this behind you, so your feelings can change also. Its called healing/recovery, whichever you understand best.

    After all this time its painfully evident that you will never get the answers you want from her. What's worse is you think a rebound will help you, or hoping at least, but it will not in the long run, and cause more harm than good simply because replacing one person for another is delaying the inevitable of learning to cope with your own pain, and loss.

    The only thing you are entitled to is taking care of yourself. So stop the texting, and stop the seeking of answers that change nothing, and look to rebuilding a life that makes you happy without her. Continuing any contact with her whatsoever only distracts you from the more important things in your life, and makes her way more important than she should be. You don't need her in your life to be happy, so what's the point?

    Have you read the stickies at the beginning of the relationship page? Do so, and know we all get confronted with the same dilemma that you are facing. How to heal, and move on from a break up!

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