Ask Me Help Desk - I want him back, I need him... What do I do?

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Deal with how you handle stress and pressure before you worry abut trying to get some one back who you have abused for nothing. Chasing him and making promises never works out, so leave him alone NOW!!!

I really agree with this. I went through a divorce and I have realized that sometimes in life all you get out of a broken relationship is a window into a part of your soul... you learn things about yourself that you didn't know before. Sometimes your heart aches so much because you long to have an opportunity to amend some of the wrongs you committed against the one you loved... "please give me one chance; I can change." But no amount of begging or pleading can create such an opportunity again when it's over.

I know it's tough to let go because in some respects, I haven't fully let go of my loss either. But I'm learning that accepting the loss is necessary to move on. I'm also learning that I have to face directly into the pain and see what I did wrong and try to learn from my mistakes. And I also think that in some respects I haven't fully learned all of my lessons yet. It's best to be on my own for now and learn and heal. Maybe you can take a page from my book.

I know it hurts my friend; believe me I do. But we all have to work through these hurts in life and move on and I hope you are able to.

Live well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jakester

I really agree with this. I went through a divorce and I have realized that sometimes in life all you get out of a broken relationship is a window into a part of your soul...you learn things about yourself that you didn't know before. Sometimes your heart aches so much because you long to have an opportunity to amend some of the wrongs you committed against the one you loved..."please give me one chance; I can change." But no amount of begging or pleading can create such an opportunity again when it's over.

I know it's tough to let go because in some respects, I haven't fully let go of my loss either. But I'm learning that accepting the loss is necessary to move on. I'm also learning that I have to face directly into the pain and see what I did wrong and try to learn from my mistakes. And I also think that in some respects I haven't fully learned all of my lessons yet. It's best to be on my own for now and learn and heal. Maybe you can take a page from my book.

I know it hurts my friend; believe me I do. But we all have to work through these hurts in life and move on and I hope you are able to.

Live well.

So very true.. Very heartfelt and honest.

I can't stop thinking about it

Me and my boyfriend broke up... 2 weeks ago.
And I'm finally accepting it and trying to move on. But he likes this other girl and he thinks there could be something there. But all I can think about is them making out and getting all physical and THAT's driving me insane...

I'm sorry, but you have to get over it. He's not your boyfriend any more. Get over him and start looking for someone else.

There are loads of things you could be doing instead of listening to sad music,picturing your ex with some else,and generally feeling like crap.

It hurts,and I'm not taking that away from you,but if you don't change the way your thinking it will really start to affect your life.

Throw yourself into work,school,join the gym or start running or walking,at least you will be able to sleep and the exercise is great to release those feel good hormones.

Arrange a night in with the girls,pizza and a good comedy.

Get some emotional support,and do not check Facebook,etc for news of him.

This is your time,to start healing and get back to you.

Get on with your life and don't check up on his. If anyone wants to talk to you about him, say "I don't want to hear it"
Hang out with your girl friends. Sitting around and doing nothing forces your mind to wonder to him and that is just not healthy.

As much as it hurts there's just no point in wasting your energy over something you have no control over.

No Contact and stop trying to find out what he's up to , and before you know it you won't care.

I think you need time, and other things to do that you enjoy, with people you enjoy doing things with.

Two weeks is not a lot of time when you think about it. Maybe you need more, without contact from him.

Read the stickies in this forum.

You have to accept that it is over.
I'm sorry you're hurting and I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I know words can't do that.

I hope you will move on as soon as you can and you'll find each day it will get better.

It really does get easier as each day passes, one day soon you'll go the whole day without thinking of the ex, then it'll be 2 days and so on.

It hurts now but that too will become less and more bearable as each day you stick to NC passes too, but you've got to stick with the NC rules.

If you fall off the rails in NC you're undoing everything you'll have achieved until then.

You'll get there and when you do you'll wonder why you were even bothered...

Quote:

Originally Posted by positiveparent

It really does get easier as each day passes, one day soon youll go the whole day without thinking of the ex, then itll be 2 days and so on.

It hurts now but that too will become less and more bearable as each day you stick to NC passes too, but youve got to stick with the NC rules.

If you fall off the rails in NC youre undoing everything youll have achieved until then.

Youll get there and when you do youll wonder why you were even bothered....

As positive said don't break NC. It will only make it harder!