False hope buddy, sorry to burst your bubble... But I have been in your situation before, and while you think she made a mistake, she might not see it that way. Don't add the last part of the letter, if you send anything, just send the first part. Why put the ball in her court? You can't wait around forever for her to come back. Go live your life, if it's meant to be it will find you farther down the road. If its one thing I have learned, you can't control your fate. You were born to walk a certain path, and nothing you say or do will ever change that. Put this girl in the past as she has to you. What will be will be.

If there is no stopping the meeting, then just tell her that you've had loads of fun with her, and that you don't understand why she would want to mess with a good thing, and tell her that you can't be her friend if she wants to do this. That's pretty much what I told my ex soon after she asked for "just a break"... and she's only contacted me once after she went back to school via email.

We got it easier than some other people Windshield... since she is away at school, there is a highly unlikely chance of randomly running into her (which I hear is awful!).

and I wasn't saying that you should be mean, just that you shouldn't be too nice, because, well, break-up's aren't nice.

As for the email... its not bad, but its ultimately up to you... personally however, I would wait till she tries to contact you for the meeting, and if you still don't want to meet up then I would tell her what I said I would say earlier.

good luck

Yeah but... unlike your ex... Mine will be calling me texting me and then at my house if I don't talk to her I know that for a fact. She will completely flip crap and go nuts. Which is why I don't understand this situation at all... and then once summer rolls around she will do it all over again. And even though I am applied to other schools and such who knows what could happen with that... because if I ended up having to go to her school that would be GG.

DO BOTH!!!!! I bet her mom would really like that and if you talk to "YO GIRL":p its kinda obvious she HAS to like you who wouldn't!?!?!?! after all you seem like a good bofriend


GO FOR THE GOLD....... you know you wanna!

So basically what you're saying is your OK with here having fun with other guys while at school but coming home to you during the summer feeding you the lines "I missed you?" I mean ultimately you are going to make your own decision regardless but I would simply tell her to cut off communication(whether she likes it or not) and just go your separate ways.

I know, I want to cut off all communication but all I'm saying is she will not agree one bit. And will go totally psycho leading me to have to change my number... actually. I just don't understand how she can freak out that much and not just be like "OK I really really messed up and will do everything in my power to fix it. I know I have to do it on my own and give you time to decide if you want to be back with me after I have changed". And I mean if she is totally cool with it and doesn't contact me at all I'm OK with that too.

As of now I'm just going to wait for her to contact me... I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to say although it will be something along the lines of we need to never talk again... which she will reply with something lame like "you never loved me" or "I banged tons of dudes" both of which just to try to make me feel bad. The first one won't bother me because I know I love her, but the second one I think I will have to respond to... saying something along the lines of "Guess what I didn't bang anyone else, because when you are in a relationship that is not what you do...you retard" which will have much more of an effect because she has like convinced her self I cheated on her(which I never did nor would ever do) because she can't trust people.

I don't know I think I'm pretty much over this bull crap... for example yesterday her Facebook status was "I love my boyfriend" and it didn't even bother me I just laughed and was like wow... and if she would tell me she never loved me or anything I don't think that would bother me either because the amount of bull crap she has done like shocked me into auto not caring about her crazy psycho lifestyle. Which will lead her to guilt trip me as much as she can... I'm just going to do my best to delete the texts without reading them and not answering the phone until I can change my number... if she goes nuts.

First thing, you need to remind yourself that you are not a psychic. You are creating all these predictions of how she will react when in all honesty you have no idea how things will go. Don't worry though, its just a common side effect of heartbreak, I used to do it a lot to. However, stop thinking so far ahead and deal with the situation as it is now.

Second, as everyone has already mentioned, stick to No Contact. An e-mail will do you no good, and if there absolutely has to be a meeting between you two then go out with a bang. Be mature, don't give ultimatums, and just remind her that you love her and it's a shame things didn't work out. If she asks to stay in contact, tell her that you simply are just not ready for friendship, but maybe in a couple of months. Personally though, I would avoid any meeting unless she insists to meet up.

Third, if for some reason she does go nuts trying to contact you then great. Keep ignoring all texts, e-mails, and phone calls until you receive the one that says "I'm sorry, I made a mistake and I want to try this again." I'm not implying this will happen, but unless she tells you something like this then ignore everything else. Don't change your number, too much effort, just ignore her.

Finally, and I mean no disrespect and I don't want to offend you but sometimes I feel that a person has to be harsh in order to help a friend out so here goes: Grow some balls! This girl is walking all over you. She has another boyfriend and she is still purposefully holding onto your heart! Why in the world would you let her do this to you! If she really loved you then she would be faithful to you. Why would you even allow her to come back after she left you! I don't care if she got lonely, that is no excuse. What is going to keep her from doing this again? When it comes to a true, loving, and committed relationship there is no such thing as "Well I'm lonely right now, I'm going to date this guy and when we see each other again I'll leave him for you." Do you realize how stupid that sounds! I'm sorry if this offends you, but get your manhood back and tell her your done with the games. Mark her off the list and call out "NEXT!"

Not offended at all. That is what I want to do... But I'm not sure how to go about that... just like texting her "yo you fu..ed up and you know it I'm done with your shi..... don't ever talk to me again". Or... is that not what you mean...

No not at all. Don't be rude. Remember, I said go out with a bang, which means leave a good lasting impression. In my opinion you should no longer attempt to contact her. Let her call you a couple a times. Ignore the calls, texts, and e-mails for 2 or 3 days. Then when you are ready call her and tell her that you have been thinking a lot for the past few days, from there tell her the truth. Remind her that you love her but as a result you can no longer continue talking to her because she is currently with someone else. Tell her that it hurts staying in contact knowing that she has another boyfriend. Again, let her know you love her, that you've enjoyed all the fun times you had together, and that you feel it's a shame that things had to end this way. Finally, tell her that maybe someday you two can try this again, but as of now its best for the both of you that things end.

Remember, no ultimatums. If she asks to stay in contact or be friends, then tell her that right now you can't but maybe in a few months. From this point forward go full No Contact. Ignore every phone call, e-mail, and text. Do not respond until she is practically begging to try the relationship again. In all honesty, she more then likely will never do that, but unless she does then continue No Contact.

Let go of all hope. Move on with your life. If she comes back then that's great, if not then oh well. You deserve the best, don't ever forget that.

Will do, I'll let you fellows know how it goes once I make the call. Which will be the last time I ever contact her.

I don't think it's appropriate to use her mother as a go-between. Frankly I'd just tell her it's over. It sounds like she's more interested in security than you. Why would she have even gone away to college if she has all these "dependence" issues? Something's not adding up here ; big red flag in my opinion.

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Originally Posted by Windshield21

Yeah but...unlike your ex ... Mine will be calling me texting me and then at my house if I don't talk to her I know that for a fact. She will completely flip crap and go nuts. Which is why I don't understand this situation at all...and then once summer rolls around she will do it all over again. And even though I am applied to other schools and such who knows what could happen with that....because if I ended up having to go to her school that would be GG.

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My ex was the same way, called me everyday, texted me about 2000 times a month, after the break-up she did a complete 180... you'd be surprised how people can just flip a switch so easily (or make it seem so easily)

I hope so.. hooked up tonight so... feeling better.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ihatewestseneca

My ex was the same way, called me everyday, texted me about 2000 times a month, after the break-up she did a complete 180... you'd be surprised how people can just flip a switch so easily (or make it seem so easily)

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Its amazing how some people can do this. You can be everything they need for the longest time then poof, your nothing but a memory to them. I think this is one of the things that make these types of breakups so hard.

Anyway, windshield it is good that you are feeling better. The first two weeks are the hardest in my opinion.

So she has started texting me and stuff... I haven't called her yet but she is texting me about hanging out... should I really just ignore them and call her in a few days... Won't me ignoring her be the wrong thing to do? If I could possibly get an answer to this by 2:30 est... I would be grateful...

Yes, ignore her. Don't think you're being a jerk, you're just handling things the best way you can.

Thanks for the response... and the back up of that response... she has texted me three times called me twice and left a voice mail since I posted my previous post... It's whatever I'll call her when I want... going to another party tonight so most likely tomorrow but either way I don't really care. I'm having fun again and doing what I want.. This is probably the best thing that has happened to me in a LONG time

Personally I think you should wait 2 or 3 days since the last time you talked to her. Not because it's a game but because you need to gather your composure. If you call her now and things don't go the way you planned than you'll be a nervous wreck and you'll be back here telling us you screwed up during the conversation. Just relax, think about what you want to say and prepare yourself for anything that may not go your way. You can't predict what she will say but you can prepare yourself to be calm and confident.

I already have it planned out. And it can't really go wrong for me... no matter what she says I'm over the situation and am moving on. I'm just going to leave the relationship on a good note and that's that.

Awesome, I'm glad to hear you got things under control. I still suggest you wait a little longer. Go to the party tonight, have fun, and take things from there.