:mad: my son who is twenty couldn't wait to move out and now he's back just as irresponsible as he ever was and disrespectful as well if I try to speak to him on these subject he goes into a screaming rage and don't hear anything I am saying how can I try to get him to understand about priorities and respect and responsibilities I seemed to have failed him early on I raised him on my own .:(

A good first step would be to demand your son may a minimal "room & board" for staying with you. As an adult, it is completely reasonable that he contribute to the household expenses.

I also suggest you not provide any "free services" for him - be that food preparation, laundry service, taxi service, or wahtever else he might want you to do or pay for. As an adult, he should take care of himself.

And finally, give him a deadline to move back out on his own... and be prepared to kick him out if you have to.


I know you want to help your son, but he is also old enough to take care of himself. You may have to be tough on him to get him to "grow up". It may be the only way he'll learn.

Screw rent screw everything kick him out tell him he can't stay there. He wanted his own life and now he can live it. You won't be there to hold his hand forever

I agree with victoria. Kick his out for a while. Some states require eviction preceedings though. Even if he stayed for a week, sometimes you need to give him 30 days notice by law. In that time see if his attitude chages and starts contributing toward rent, chores, food, etc.

Yep, change the locks while he is out, and be done with him, till he learns,

He will not learn to do right till he hits bottom, no child should be living at home disrespecting the parent.

Give him two choices... the right hand or the left... to smack him upside down.

Boy, did you ever get your answer. You cannot allow yourself to be his door mat. Either he adheres to the rules of the house or he gets out. There is no half way. Since he appears to also be abusive, I would tell him in no uncertain terms to get out until he can learn respect.