Hey all, I met up with my boyfriend today who is always willing to have sex with me but never willing to respond to my mails, texts or whatever. He does that when he wants to... so today when I asked him why he never responds... he said" hey listen stop cribbing....i've become so indifferent to your mails and questions about why I am not responding that now I actually don't respond....I love to talk about lot of things but you're always asking why I don't write/respond"... this surprised me as I talk a lot about other things but asking him why he doesn't respond puts him off... he made me feel I am so boring but said he felt connection. What kind of a connection is this, when he doesn't even like talking to me but wants to make out... am I wrong in thinking this way? Really low on self esteem today... can anyone tell me what I should do? It's so depressing...

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Originally Posted by exquisite

What kind of a connection is this, when he doesn't even like talking to me but wants to make out....am I wrong in thinking this way? Really low on self esteem today...can anyone tell me what I should do? It's so depressing....

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... He just wants a sex connection. But I think you already know that.

Agrees on the sex connection. When you stop the sex, then see what you have with this guy. But I think you already know what you have outside the bedroom - nothing.

Get smart and make decisions for the betterment of your own self esteem and respect.

You chose the name "exquisite" for this Forum.

Make sure people treat you like that... with the respect you deserve.

Good luck.

Mmm move on-you deserve better.

He just wants sex-no relationship. Connection-as he uses it, means sex-that's it nothing else.

Sorry.

Cheers.

Move on

So should I tell him that I feel disrespected and then move on... or write a mail telling him so... please suggest

I know email is a current trend in writing those move on letters, but it sounds tacky to use that method. If it is THE only way you can communicate to him, without feeling pressured from him to continue the sex, then use email. Otherwise, a good face to face telling him to leave you alone is the best way. There can be no uncertain terms or meanings when you look in his eyes and tell him to get lost.

Which ever way you choose, best of luck to you.

Looks like this guy has lost all respect for you and though he knows you're there, he's good at controlling you too. Doesn't care how you'd feel and just wants that you do what he wants you to do... I want to ask you... if another being cannot respect you as a person, how will respect your body... I woudn't find it mentally stimulating at all and sex is all about mental stimulation... isn't it? Back off for a few days and earn respect... then go ahead if you wish to... if he doesn't realize... too bad... then sure he's a neurotic...

Dump this loser he is using you just for sex, and you deserve better don't you think?

He just wants to respond to you in the bedroom. Mmhmm...

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Dump this loser he is using you just for sex, and you deserve better don't you think?

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Talaniman: You want to know how she knows the answer? Read her other posts. Same questions -- same answers.

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Originally Posted by exquisite

So should I tell him that I feel disrespected and then move on...or write a mail telling him so...please suggest

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Don't break up with people by sending emails or text messages.
It's not respectful.
No matter what your feelings may be.
Keep your standards high.
In situations like this an email or text message is not classy.

Good luck

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Originally Posted by AW805

Talaniman: You want to know how she knows the answer? Read her other posts. Same questions -- same answers.

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I need a break, I answered all her other posts with pretty much the same advice. Thanks for the wake up call AW.:eek:

AW, T-Man, everyone else on these posts and especially YOU Exquisite.

I have read through all of Exquisite's posts. Honey, this guy only wants sex from you because you are MARRIED! You have quite effectively left that little piece of info out of your posts, except the immigration question you posted that I found.

I am hazarding a guess that he is married as well, and my dear, you are breaking the rules of the extramarital affair etiquette by demanding more than a slap and tickle romp. Stop tormenting the guy already. Stop asking him for more of his time. He doesn't have it to give. He doesn't want to spend any more time with you than he already is. He doesn't want to text message or e-mail you all day long. He just wants you to be available when he can steal some time and get away for some afternoon delight. He is looking for a piece on the side, nothing more. That is what you are to him. That is why the guy never tried chasing you when you first broke up with him. He doesn't give a dam(sp). If you are available for some sex, fine. If you aren't, fine. That is what is going through his mind.

What the heck are you looking for? Are you going to divorce your husband for this guy? Start concentrating on your husband or get a freakin' divorce. But, whatever you do, stop driving everyone here nuts with the same questions over and over again. Your BF is not willing to give you any more of his time than he is already giving. End of story. So, make a decision on what you want to do about it and stop asking these silly teenage questions, over and over again. Sheesh!

In any given situation, if mind is unsettled, stop for awhile and think... do you really have to stoop so low to lose all your dignity? Pay heed to the above posts and act wisely.

Thank you all... there was actually no relationship outside the bedroom and all your advises proved so very true. The moment I said no to sex, he disappeared from the scene.

Move on girl, but you ask whether you should write or tell him face to face that he doesn't respect you? Don't bother telling him! He already knows how he feels, and he will probably just try to manipulate you again if you do! Remember when he said that it was all your fault that he doesn't reply to your messages because you are turning him off..? Classic manipulation, girlfriend, he completely put you where he wanted you - you started a conversation about his behaviour, but he flipped it all around leaving you confused and feeling guilty, while he didn't have to take responsibility for his actions. Do you really want that again? There is no hope for this "relationship". Just move on - don't reply to messages or calls, especially not booty calls! He probably won't even notice - guaranteed he's got other women he's stringing along for sex, too. If he does say something (when one of these other women aren't giving him what he wants), just smile and say you don't know what he's talking about. You've every right to move on and you don't owe him an explanation for anything.