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-   -   Scared about not loving someone (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=91408)

  • May 10, 2007, 08:16 PM
    kevin2006
    Scared about not loving someone
    Hi, I've been struggling with my mind for a couple weeks now. I feel like my relationship with my girlfriend is falling apart. I feel like I don't know the real meaning of love and I'm always having negative thoughts. I feel like I'm scared that I don't love her. Does this make sense to anyone? If it does can someone please clarify it with me. Thanks
  • May 10, 2007, 08:28 PM
    kevin2006
    And is it normal to be scared of getting feelings for another girl other than my girlfriend?
  • May 10, 2007, 09:41 PM
    sypher373
    Do you actually have feelings of not loving her and feeling for other women, or re you just afraid that you may have these feelings somday?

    If you are having the feelings now, I would suggest that you talk with her about it. It may be tough to do, but it is better for her than leading her on if you are unsure of the relationship. It is better to hurt a little now, than hurt a lot more later.

    If you are only afraid of having these feelings, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Don't let something that hasn't happened ruin your relationship. There is no need for you to worry that these things may happen in the future - unless you can feel them happening now.

    It seems to me that you wouldn't be scared of having feelings for someone else unless it has already happened. I can't think of a good reason to be afraid of having feelings for someone else out of the blue...

    Maybe a little more information would help people help you better...
  • May 11, 2007, 12:51 PM
    kevin2006
    Hey... I don't necessarily have feelings for a specific girl. But I noticed I look at other girls a lot sexually... I don't have feelings for another girl. I still care about my girlfriend. I was just unsure if I loved her not because I feel like I don't know what exactly love is. I've been talking to my girlfriend a lot these past few days trying to fix problems up. But I don't want to tell her I've been checking other girls. I don't talk to these girls, I just look at them. I'm not doing anything wrong but I'm scared that I'm losing feelings for my girlfirned. I'm the type that always second thinks stuff and worry.. if you can try to explain some of my feelings I would really appreciate it. I look at other girls and I'm scared I'm losing feelings for her because I really want to love her with all my heart, but I feel like something is preventing that from happening. Maybe my thoughts or I'm getting too defensive
  • May 14, 2007, 05:12 PM
    kevin2006
    Are these thoughts normal?
  • May 14, 2007, 05:42 PM
    persainpapaya
    Kevin, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking? I think that would help aid me in responding to you.
  • May 15, 2007, 12:14 PM
    kevin2006
    I'm 21
  • May 16, 2007, 03:24 PM
    kevin2006
    Can someone help with my thoughts?
  • May 16, 2007, 03:42 PM
    AKaeTrue
    I think it's kind-of normal for guys to check out other girls.

    Kae
  • May 16, 2007, 04:14 PM
    kevin2006
    What about if I'm scared I don't love my girlfriend? Do people get that thought?
  • May 16, 2007, 04:21 PM
    AKaeTrue
    If you're scared that you don't love your girlfriend, then maybe you don't.

    But a man can love a woman and still look at other women and see them as beautiful.
    It doesn't mean they don't truly love and care for the woman they're with.

    Some men actually take "looking" to another level and cheat - that would be considered not loving the woman they're with (in my book that is).

    Kae

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