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Noname123]I think it's really nice how strangers get together on the web and confide and help each other. I've worked online for 7 years and never thought to share my problems other than with my friends or sisters.
I'm giving it a go now, I'm 3 months pregnant by a man I think I love, I know I definatley was in love with him. Now I just feel nothing, like I force myself to feel something.
You shouldn't have to force yourself to feel something.
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We have been on and off for 3 years, a very passionate yet destructive relationship. So in love sometimes that we would thank god we found each other, other times I have him trying to strangle me. He has been abusive, numerous times.
Think about the baby you are going to have. Once he gets tired of hitting you then he will go after your child.
I
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used to have a few drinks and get really nasty with him, which would aggriavate him more. I stopped drinking like that.
Good for you sweetie..good for you.
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Decided I just look and act a fool. We have lived together, not lived together, he kicked me out, I kicked him out, the rollercoaster goes round and round. We always get back together, now I don't live with him, I told him to move out when I had to get the police round to remove him from my house and then he wanted to take the dog which he bought me for xmas the year before, who he doesn't like to fuss in case he gets dirty and who he shouts at for nothing. He moved out about 8 mnths ago. He always talks about marriage and babies and how much he loves me.
If he loved you he woudln't put his hands on you. If he loved you he wouldn't treat you like crap...causeing you stress and possibly causing you a miscarriage from the stress.
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Yet at the drop of a hat he can throw things at me or call me all the names under the sun. He is now going for anger management once a week. If he is really going I don't know. He does say it is all me and everyone other person, never him!
Does he tell you that you made him act that way? That you made him hit you? That is the abuse cycle.
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I find myself always finding excuses for him. Since I have told him I was pregnant, he has told me 20 times to have this baby alone, if I interrupt him when he is talking he will tell me do this alone and hang up!!
Then you need to tell him fine I will do it alone and not talk to him at all. ,
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Things like that. He has 2 children, one from his wife, one from another woman, he is 33, he doesn't see both kids for long and complicated reasons,
Probably because the mothers wised up to him. The fact that he can't see them should tell you something. I would try to talk to his ex's and find out how he treated them.
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I was with him for 8 months before I knew about the youngest child, who is 4. He said I wouldn't have got with him if I'd known he had 2 kids. But I don't care about things like that. For 8 months I was getting anxious, secret phone calls, strange behaviour so I asked him if he was seeing someone else, he told me I was crazy, eventually he told me he has another son. I said so what... your kids are your kids. Of course he doesn't see his kids because the women are both f**ked up, which he now says I am. Calling me psycho because I won't stand for his manipulative sh*t anymore.
He is just covering his own butt becuase he know that you are getting fed up and the way to make you stay with him is to bring down your self esteem.
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Today he is leaving all the baby stuff I had stored at his house as he has more room, my sister left me this stuff before she left, and he is now going with a friend to get the baby stuff out of his house after a fight we had,
That is just immature and should be a red flag that he isn't going to be a good father. If he is using the baby as a tool to hurt you. No good, respectful parent would use thier child or future child as a bargianig tool.
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I had to find out from a friend that he had arranged to be partners in a club thing, where he would be spending every weekend out of the city we live in, he NEVER mentioned this to me and when I pull him up on it he tells me I am nagging, crazy, paranoid and that I should let it go. So anyway, he always takes back things he buys me when we row, or trashes my house, or... I've just realised what I sound like, a martyer!
Purple"No you are just confused and upset. You have been hurt and you just want the best for your baby.
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Its amazing how it can help just writing down your own crap, we get what we allow and I clearly don't have the balls to cut him out of my life, but I did, kind of, we don't live together anymore, but I still saw him a few times a week, but guess my problem now is I am pregnant and will keep the baby, I am 27 and have had 2 abortions which I am not proud of. I can't do that again.
Good for you!!!!!1
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How should I handle him, I am just so angry, he called my sister calling me a psychopath and she called me to tell me about the strange voice he was speaking in (which he does when he is angry, he speaks all professional and in a strange voice, not his own normal voice) and that he also said to her that he was going to email my father, to tell him why he wants nothing to do with crazy me and the baby.
Then let him email your father, if your father is a good father then he will confront him on how he is treating his daughter.
Why bring my whole family into it, if I wanted too I could sit and tell them all the things he has done to me,You should tell them what he has done. They need to know and you need the support.
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I don't. I could call his ex, his mother, ask what the hell am I to expect from this man, I don't, his ex already sent him one text about custody which he let me read saying, sorry things had to be this way but I can't trust your temper or your word, I see now why she said that.
Your starting to open your eyes to what type of man he is.
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He looked at that and said, you see what I have to deal with? I didn't get it then, that was over a year ago, I get it now
I looked up sociopath, his ex called him that once, scary but after reading the profile that sounds like him. But I can't believe that. I have my faults, we all do, I never shut up, if I am angry I just go on and on, I get jealous but only with certain partners, not all. I used to drink and get nasty, embarrass myself. I just get baffled with how he treats me, or the lame excuses he comes up with for staying out all night and not texting or returning my calls. He makes me shake, physically have anxiety attacks, I'm now laughing hysterically at things which should upset me, and feel like I am going to explode, sure its my hormones too.
Pregancy does that toyou. You can't let him upset you so much becuase stress can cause a miscarriage.
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He fights with everyone, not just me, so why do I put up with it? I am the crazy one for trying to make things work, beating a dead horse as they say. Glutton for punishment, what is wrong, I am a strong, well-educated, well-travelled independent woman, always had my own money, good job, nice friends, loving family,
Then you are perfectly capable of raising your baby...and having your family help you..YOu don't need this man in your life. He is unhealthy for you.
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I have had my fair share of the bad stuff but whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger... I'm actually going to click sumbit here, and welcome any comments, even if they are leave him! I am not living with him and I have already decided I don't want him as my partner, but what to do for the best for the baby?
Yes, you need to figure out if you even want this man in your baby's life. YOu are the parent and you need to do what you think will benifet your baby. Honestly I don't think this guy is the answer, or should be around you or the baby. He told you to do it yourself...then do it yourself with your family.
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Since I got pregnant, I dislike him, I have no patience with him, all the stuff that comes out of his mouth I think is ridiculous, I used to hang on to his every word, dote on him, now I can see his true colours, it is like I was blind, it's horrible. I will never stop him seeing the baby, I may be reluctant to let him take out the baby as he is reckless but I want the baby to know him, just because he is not good as my partner doesn't mean he doesn't have positive things to give his child. Am I just being naïve
Yes, I think you are being niave becuase if he hits you what is to stop him from hitting your child? There is a reason why he can't see his chidlren, and if he is lying to you about other things he might he lying to you about the reason. I would have a long talk with your family , and get thier opinion on it.
