Closure.is it over or not?
Hi,
I recently found out that my partner cheated on me with his X of 5 years (they broke up about a year ago). We have been together for almost a year and WHAM the X is in the picture. We never fought at all. I feel devastated and betrayed, but at the same time I felt sorry for him knowing that he just lost both his parents within a month period. It is hard to admit for anyone to say 'I messed up'. But he did and it eased a lot of the pain that I was going through.
I asked him if we could start over and he said that he has a lot of things to finish with the X. That left me hanging right there. All I want is closure and I don't want to start a new one without finishing up the old. I called his house, phone number is changed. I called his work, he would not pick up. Could this be the reason so he can think clearly?
Instead of him calling, the X got a hold of my number through his redial option in his phone a while back. Calls me everyday telling me that they are going to work it out and that I was just a phase, and that I was not loved. I feel this X is obsessed with my partner and could not accept the breakup that happened a year ago and will not be satisfied until he break up ours which he succeeded I am sorry to say.
I don't know what to. I feel this relationship is hanging I think the word to use is Closure. That's what I need is closure. I don't want to leave this door open where somewhere down the line the bad person is actually the person you are destined to be with.
I don't know if I should keep calling his work (works alone btw). Or wait until he is ready to call me. I believe everyone falls down and deserves at least 1 more chance.
I feel so confused and hurt, I really could use an advice.
Thank you very much in advance,
Hurtfulthings
ps.
I asked myself 'why am I the one pursuing when I am the victim'? Maybe I don't want to lose a good thing.