I have a 8 year old daughter that I pay child support on. I didn't know I had a child until she was 3 years old. I have no rights to this child, but now the maternal grandparents are fileing for custody and a motion to intervene because the mother is a drug addict. The child and her mother has lived with the maternal grandparents for about 70% of her life. But I would like custody of her. I have tried with 2 lawyers years before and no one would help me. Now that the mother is unfit I would really like to step up and be her father. Do I stand a chance? What do I do? I have a meeting with a lawyer on Monday and the hearing is on Tuesday. I just got the letter in the mail today.

Your lawyer will probably ask for a continuance or possibly jump right in and ask for custody for you. Let him or her handle this. Don't forget that the concerns of the child come first - you are a total stranger, DNA or not. Best to apply for a shared custody arrangement that can change, as they often do.

I would think that you would not only have a visitation order but had developed a relationship of some kind not just with the child, but the grandparents a well. I don't see you gaining any custody without any evidence that you pursued this course of action over the years you knew of your child's existence, despite the child support, unless there is a lot more to this situation than you have stated.

You have had two lawyers and neither of them has gotten you any custody so what makes you think a third will succeed? Who's caught in the middle of this battle between an absentee dad, dysfunctional mom, and caring grandparents? Right, your child, so do the math and get a better plan besides lawyers, and courts.

I am shocked no lawyer so far has bothered to lay the groundwork for a successful custody, visitation plan for you, and just by what you have written you look like a stranger exploiting a family tragedy rather than a caring dad. I am sure a judge would agree.

What could I be missing here? What have you been doing the last 5 years? You have rights but have not been guided properly in how to exercise them. Not judging you at all but with so many unanswered questions, I don't see you prevailing in getting custody, not even shared custody, of a child you have no relationship with for whatever reason.

If I am wrong please fill in the blanks.

What is the reason you say you have no rights at this time? Were your rights taken away by the courts or was it just a matter of granting the mother full custody?

You need to appear and right now your running from behind. How long have you known of this Monday court date? Were you notified properly?

There are many questions that need answers before proceeding.

The court will of course ask why you did not get an attorney and file for visits over the past 5 years, this will be a serious question, and they most likely will ask it.

Also your payments, if current, is actually considered contact with child in some US states (depending on where the child is at)

I also feel the needs and well being of the child is to be considered. A man she has never seen, the court will not just hand over custody until there is a longer term period of visits, counseling and more.

You need to explain how you were required to pay child support but had not rights. While support and visitation are kept separate, you should have been able to get, at least, visitation unless there is something you aren't telling us. What have you tried with other lawyers?