Hi I'm with my girlfriend for 29 months now and right now she's on holiday for 3 weeks and will be coming back on 22nd of Nov.
Our relationship is becoming unhealthy we had some misunderstanding about small thing last week Wednesday and after that day she never text me back. Although I tried to talk to her all I got from her is that saying she don't give a .

I tried not to text her a lot bcause I let her enjoy her holiday and I don't want her to notice that Im being clingy. So I managed to text her at least once a day because she won't text me anyway if I don't text her first asking her how's her day and hope she's enjoying it.

Last week Wednesday we had this misunderstanding about small things, at the end I tried to calm down and gave her a proper goodnight but she never text back. Thursday whole day she ddnt contact me at least once and it starting to hurt me so on Friday I send her a very long message stating how I feel, asking her why does she always ignore me and take me for granted, I honestly told her that I miss our old relationship and that she knows me that I can make tru everything for this relationship but if only one of us is trying to work this out, it won't really work. I even told her that I love her and ignoring her as well doesn't mean I don't think of her it happen to me that I always back off because the more I tried the more shel say that she doesn't give a and its painful for me to hear those words.

I Sent that message on Friday morning and she replied me back on Saturday morning. The only thing she said is "where did your long message came from maybe you have another girl thts why your being like tht hahah"

She totally ignored it and I replied after an hour saying that 'so thts what I get from my long message? If I have another girl I wouldn't waste my time telling you everythng and I wouldn't do what you are doing now that your ignoring me and showing you totally no care.

After that, she never text back. What does that mean? Everyday I'm in pain knowing the girl who used to care doesn't feel the same way. I know her she will never talk to me until I give in. this is not the first time but now I feel that I'm losing hope.

If you texted me like that, I would be totally annoyed. Go No Contact. It sounds like this relationship is pretty much finished.

I agree with Wondergirl.

You are impulsive and I would add annoying, to send a long text to anybody about personal issues that essentially demand answers, while I was on holiday! And then continue the absurdity with following up with more anger and demands for clarity. Really, really over the top.

If you are like this- insecure and demanding- all the time, I assume that the 'little things' you refer to, are really along the nit picking lines, and get bigger and bigger if you are not satisfied with the answers you want.

Bottom line- she's on holiday, and you have no control over what she does, says, or who she's with. I suspect your insecurity is in overdrive and thus the text to keep yourself front and center.

She's on holiday! Leave her alone. Write your issues out, put them in a hat, and when she's home, you can pull them out one at a time, and interrogate her.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. You acknowledge your own issues many times but do nothing to change it and have had many opportunities to do so,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ip-771460.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ve-771400.html

Stop the insanity and leave her alone, at least for a few days. Why keep being an annoying, insecure, needy person? How does being unhealthy, and blaming her, get you to a healthy relationship? Deal with your own issues, and stop acting so impulsive and making them hers.

Calm down and control yourself. You are your own worse enemy. NOT her!

Your writing is laden with little clues that you are not only needy but also controlling.
You are not going to get anywhere in life without some real help, some therapy.

Neediness goes hand and hand with controlling. The needy person truly believes that if he or she gives love, it must by all that is logical and reasonable be reciprocated.
NOT
TRUE!

Threads have been merged together.


I'm not so sure but I think I have this Anxiety disorder.

I have a Girlfriend of 29 Months and it drives me crazy, I don't know what's wrong but in the end there comes a point where I think too much and blame myself for what is happening. I wanted to go to therapy seek for a help, but I ended up buying some self-help books. Ive been trying myself to stop being needy, to stop being so emotional, sometimes I can't control myself to do things I never wanted to do. Like cry over and over, nag to my girlfriend about issues that makes her distant from me. I don't know what's wrong with me and I feel embarrassed if I ever go to my parents and talk about this, cause in my age 20 I know I should know better.

Here are the signs that makes me think I have Anxiety Disorder:

1. I can't focus on things that I should be focusing at when I'm in pain. (emotionally pain)
2. I can't control myself, when I feel like I have to break, I break stuff and regret it at the end.
3. I think too much and later on I'll feel depressed.
4. whenever my girlfriend ignores me and take me for granted (usually happens most of the time) it drives me insane, I feel like I can't make tru a night without fixing the issue. I'll start to nag on her that makes me feel so needy.
5. Though I tried to stop myself not to think too much, I still do then later on I'll cry on my sleep.

Please give me some advice. I wanted to go therapy and seek help but there's something pulls me away to do this, maybe I'm afraid that my parents/girlfriend might think that Im crazy. :(

There is no way to know, here, what is 'wrong' with you.

You have described your symptoms, and they are all related to a girlfriend, but much of what you have said likely manifests itself in other areas of your life, like your job for instance, day to day activities, etc.

There isn't a switch that turns on in your brain that causes your problems, only when you are with your girlfriend. You feel comfortable expressing these problems within the privacy of the relationship, but those feelings are always there. Most likely they come out, with someone you trust.

Please seek professional help and figure out what's wrong and what is causing this, and do the hard work to learn how to manage, control, and change your behviour.

I doubt that things would be different for you, and you would be in better control of yourself, if you don't seek help.

The self help books are not enough. You need the guidance of a professional, and that process starts with a doctor visit.