I am an alcoholic. 22years old, 5'2, 105lbs. Once I start drinking; I can't stop. I black out & go into some type of transe. I get violent with myself & my loved ones trying to help. I cry histarically not knowing where I'm at or who I'm with. I scream for help like someone is trying to kill me when all their trying to do is help. Then I scream for help for someone to pull me out of this transe. I have uncontrollable leg & body movement. Summer saults; the whole nine yards. I foam from my mouth, vomit like crazy, I bang my head to h*** as if I were trying to beat this craziness out of it. Feeling possessed. I latch on to anyone trying to help me & instantly turn on them as if they were going to hurt me.These transes can last up to 6 hours. I was hospitalized back in January to march 4 times for these transes & a near death overdose that left me on life support for 2wks. I was just released from jail for battery on an officer who was trying to help while going through this back in January. I failed probation since I couldn't stop drinking. I went out last night & tried to hang & it was a nightmare all over again. Was once again hospitalized. These transes usually happen after I'm tooken away from the life of the party. I can drink continuesly at home & this never happens. What is going on in my brain while all this is going down.

Sounds like you need help. We're not going to be able to help you here... you need real professional, face to face help. I would say that until you are able to do this, perhaps you shouldn't be going out since you can't handle it.

You have to stop going to parties with drinking, stop buying things to drink at home, and stop drinking.

Only you can control that.

It's called alcoholism and you need to get some help.