Me and my girl had an argument on Thursday night and I didn't think we'd talk for a week or so, then she called Sunday while I was out with my roommate getting lunch and when I got back and was checking my messages, she wanted to know if I wanted to hang out Sunday afternoon/night. While I was listening to my other messages from my family, she called again, like 30 min later and I answered. We talked and then I asked her to come over and she said probably and that she would call me back. OK, she never called back, which this is probably the 4th or 5th time something like this has happened. Am I the backup? I see her friends ask her to do stuff and she says yes right away, and tells me she is bad at breaking plans? To which I fired back, except with me. I guess I feel like what is the point sometimes you know

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Originally Posted by onemanband

We talked and then I asked her to come over and she said probably and that she would call me back. OK, she never called back, which this is probably the 4th or 5th time something like this has happened. Am i the backup?

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She's playing you like a harp, man. Calling to get you to agree to something, then backing out is so low. She's just checking to see if you're still her puppy on a string, and when she finds out that the answer is yes, she doesn't want anything more. Cut her loose.

If you are to pursue things with her, you need to let her know this isn't going to work for you. That plans are plans and need to be fulfilled, renegotiated or called off. Let her know that a plain no-show means you won't be available again after that. Then stick true to your words. If she is that interested in you, she'll dig for the personal integrity and be grateful for the lesson you offered her and if not, then you need to look elsewhere. It's that simple.

I already said something to her awhile ago after the 2nd time or so and she got better, so I guess was making excuses, so should I even bother saying something AGAIN or just stop answering her calls?

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Originally Posted by onemanband

I already said something to her awhile ago after the 2nd time or so and she got better, so i guess was making excuses, so should i even bother saying something AGAIN or just stop answering her calls?

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Its really your call. I would stop answering the calls but only after I let it be known to her this is why, which is why I suggested in the first post a line in the sand that was so very clearly defined. If you do give her a third chance, make it clear it's the last and then make it the last too. Its you not making it clear and not making it the last time that keeps this going, just so's you know that, okay?

You are in to deep if you keep putting up with that.