I was with my ex partner for four years I was deeply in love with him and have just ended the relationship based on lies and betrayls I have found.

For the four years we were together my ex was contacting both males and female for sex online, whether he followed through with it I do not know. This included cyber sex, sexual pictures and I found emails and messages of him planning to meet with other people for sex. I discovered these emails/website memberships as he left himself logged in on my laptop.

I had constantly felt that something wasn't right, and had offered him numerous opportunities to be upfront and honest with me so we could move on and leave the past behind but this never happened.

I'm feeling extremely betrayed and in shock.

Has anyone else been in the situation where they have dated or married someone and felt like they never truly knew them? Or does anyone have some advice on how I can move forward?

I think we have all been through this at one time or another when we realize this relationship isn't working for us and we want to move on but its so confusing and painful for us.

First the knowledge that it will be a while before the emotional dust settles, and you need a plan of how to mourn the end of the relationship, and how to heal. Friends and family are great support, but what most important is leaving the ex alone, and clearing them from your life.

That means putting away all those things gathered for the last 4 years and packing them, and all the memories away. Read the stickies here for some insights, and suggestions to help deal with all the feelings and thoughts that come with a break up.

No its not an easy thing to do, rebuilding, and adjusting to being alone. Its not supposed to be. See this as a chance to learn, although you may be questioning many things right now, even yourself, the answers may take time to understand, and things will be clearer later.

The dust will settle, the shock will wear off. The brain, and heart will heal, and things will in time get better.