Me and my ex boyfriend broke up a couple of months ago and I still can't stop missing him. I don't think I like him anymore but I can't help but wish we were still together but I know that he doesn't like me because he told my friend that he wasn't "feeling it" that's why he broke up with me but he told me that he wasn't "ready for a relationship" is that the same thing? I still have to see him because he hangs out with my friends and I don't know how to get over him. I don't want to keep checking his Facebook to see if he updates I don't want to keep checking instagram. I don't know what to do and I need help.

How old are you both, and how long were you together?

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We're in our early twenties and the relationship was only for a couple of months

Being around him so much is what keeps the feelings stirred up, and that makes moving on a bit tougher, but do you have to hang around the same group so much? Shake it up and do something different for a change with a different group. Bet you were friends before you dated right?

Yeah we were friends but not close friends. He just got out of a six year relationship and he started hanging out with one of my best friends because they're best friends as well. I try to stay away from him by not inviting him but he seems to get mad and it feels like he blames me that we don't invite him which makes me feel bad. How do I get over him? I don't want to have hope that we have a chance to still be together again. I feel as though I still like him but I don't want to. I haven't seen or talked to him in months but I still hear about him from my friends.

I try to hang out with other people but the group that we are connect with is a group of my closest friends. I don't know if its possible for me to just hang out with other people. Is it possible for me to get over him while still having to see him? What can and should I do?

It takes a lot longer when he is a part of your social group, but this, like any event in your life, is about how you deal with your OWN feelings. You cannot cut them off, but you manage them with your own thoughts and actions until they fade. If you cannot break contact with him, then you will have to learn to control yourself.

Start by telling yourself this was but a dating experience, and while it was cool while it lasted its over, and maybe modify your activities, to a smaller group, maybe just one friend who is a true one, and seek other things away from the group.

You must do other things for a while to change your actions, and your thoughts. Regardless, you just seem to need more time to get yourself under control when he is around, and maybe reminding yourself this is not love will move you forward slowly. Eventually you will be comfortable enough when he is present that it will not hurt as much, but I doubt you ever forget you dated.

I mean hardly anyone forgets whom they dated, or had feelings for. I am damn near 60, yet recall all my past dates and romances. We just learn to accept the memories, both good and bad as we make new ones. I think you need new memories, besides just hanging out with the group. So plan to do some personal stuff on your own, and build a life that makes you happy, without depending on the group.

Stay cool, calm, and collected, and in control of yourself, no matter the circumstances, or the people involved. Act as if its no big deal seeing him. Soon it won't be. Never say "I can't", always say "I can".

Try and stay focused on all the wonderful qualities you possess and soon enough when you learn to love yourself you will not need to pine for him to love you still. I know its hard I've been there and it wasn't until I felt like I was over him that I found love again.

Every time I see him ill try you guys have said I'm really thankful for the help. But how do I stay calm and collected when I see him? EverytimeI see him I'm just reminded how he used me and lied to me and acted as if nothing happened which causes me to be mad and not want to be around him. I feel like he's moved on but I haven't. It's difficult because I get annoyed when I realize that my friends are still talking to him it makes me wonder if they like him secretly. Is it just all in my head? Also why did he have to lie to me and say he wasn't ready for a relationship he should have just told me he wasn't into me rather than a lie that made me feel bad for him?

Being calm and collected in the sight of stress and distress is a quality not easily apprehended. It is, in fact, like many other things only as hard as you let it be.

Try using is as a "get back" tactic. Being content and happy in his presence will aggrevate him, just as it may aggrevate you. Eventually it will become natural, and your mind will believe itself and you will be content and happy around him. Time is your friend, and in time you will forget, and you will be happy, whether in his presence or not.

Do you have a friend, a close one that you can talk to privately? Right now, with your last post, I see an issue of anger and resentments that need venting. Did you have that shoulder to cry on when this mess happened?

Or an intense physical exertion, or writing a scathing letter, waiting a few hours, re read it, and burning it without sending. These are ways to vent your emotions, and find peace.

No I never really had a chance to take it in because right after we broke up I had to see him the weekend after for a party and ever since then it's just been like that. I've tried talking to my friends about it but they don't say much just that I'll eventually get over him that I need to stop seeing him but then the day after they talk about him and post pictures about how he surprised them at work and then they come and talk to me about it. Or they tell me that he's mad he wasn't invited or something like that. Something about him always comes back up.