Me and my ex broke up a few months ago, and at first he called me crying and blah blah but then we decided not to talk because it would be too hard on both of us. I told him I'd talk to him when I was ready, but then I got scared to ever talk again. About a month later I was almost completely over him and I honestly thought I would never talk to him again.
THEN he decides to start IMing me, calling me all the time, hanging out. We actually ended up hooking up one time when we were drunk, and it was amazing. He treated me just like he used to. But then we decided that hooking up would make things too complicated so we stopped. We still hang out all the time, and he says he "values our friendship so much". Its been a month since we started talking again, and I'm falling for him again. He always flirts with me, makes stupid excuses to talk to me or hang out, and I am barely ever the one to inititate conversation.
I like him. And I want him to know that, without making him feel rushed because he might not even want to get back together at all. Is he really okay with being friends? HOW do I let him know I like him, or find out he likes me? I don't want to freak him out! I've tried dropping hints but then I'll just go "oh never mind" and he'll be like "okay?" I wish there was an easier way to find out what he wants! Should I play hard to get? I don't want to turn him away, and I don't want to be desperate or let him know how I feel and give him ALL the control :(
Please, any advice on addressing this issue or telling whether he has feelings? He sure acts like he does, but he never mentions anything about it. I can't be "just friends", and I don't know what he's trying to do here.. but I know I still like him and I want all or nothing. I'm very willing to be patient.

First thing don't say you want all or nothing because remember you are having fun right now because there isn't anything defining what you are so be very careful. You broke his heart initially and I don't think playing any games or playing hard to get is a good way to handle it.

You need to be first honest with yourself. THe relationship ended for a reason and you can't hide from that. If you got back in it would it be any different. Ifm you feel things have changed then let him know you would like to start things up again. I mean you have been talking with him for awhile. You need to sit down like mature adults and figure out what you both want out of this. I think he wants to date you but he is hesitant to get his heart broken again

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Originally Posted by Lch1589

me and my ex broke up a few months ago, and at first he called me crying and blah blah but then we decided not to talk because it would be too hard on both of us. i told him i'd talk to him when i was ready, but then i got scared to ever talk again. about a month later i was almost completely over him and i honestly thought i would never talk to him again.
THEN he decides to start IMing me, calling me all the time, hanging out. we actually ended up hooking up one time when we were drunk, and it was amazing. he treated me just like he used to. but then we decided that hooking up would make things too complicated so we stopped. we still hang out all the time, and he says he "values our friendship so much". its been a month since we started talking again, and im falling for him again. he always flirts with me, makes stupid excuses to talk to me or hang out, and i am barely ever the one to inititate conversation.
I like him. and i want him to know that, without making him feel rushed because he might not even want to get back together at all. is he really okay with being friends? HOW do i let him know i like him, or find out he likes me? i dont want to freak him out!! ive tried dropping hints but then i'll just go "oh never mind" and he'll be like "okay?" i wish there was an easier way to find out what he wants!! should i play hard to get? i dont want to turn him away, and i dont want to be desperate or let him know how i feel and give him ALL the control :(
Please, any advice on addressing this issue or telling whether or not he has feelings? he sure acts like he does, but he never mentions anything about it. i can't be "just friends", and idk what he's trying to do here.. but i know i still like him and i want all or nothing. i'm very willing to be patient.

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From what you described- I think he definitely wants you back- but it is important for you to both try to mend the reasons for your split in the first place and to hoefully re enter the relationship with more maturity

But he was the one who dumped me, which is why its really confusing. He broke up with me because I was always picking fights and it was too stressful, even though he truly loved me and was really depressed afterwards. I want to show him that I've learned not to be so immature, because he was such an amazing boyfriend. What do I say to initiate this? Ahhh I'm too nervous, its almost like I don't want to find out

Hi- I think that it is best to let him do the confessing- espicially if he broke it off with you. Just give him some time and if he does not come around, then move on with someone else if you can- but maintain the friendship with him as he wanted and just remain happy and pleasant with him

Since you both are still confused then go slow and talk honestly with out the burden of a relationship, which neither of you have shown you can handle it. That's why your still broke up, and have never healed, because you haven't separated.