Originally Posted by AKaeTrue
nsane,
First, I'm sorry this is so long.
Have you tried distracting your children with coloring books, games, songs, toys, etc when they seem to be having fits? Sometimes that worked with mine... It's just a thought, but I do have a coping skill to suggest for you. It is the one I used to pull me out of a depression and I still use it everyday. This coping skill was not an easy one to accomplish, in fact, it was the hardest. After all the "easy way outs" left me at dead ends, I finally made an effort to try this.
At first, I thought it was hogwash, until it really worked. It took many efforts and many tries for it to start sinking in, but it has now become a way of life.
If you will transform your mind to think positive thoughts, it will transform your life positively.
If you are anything like me, you may have dug a deep river of negativity. It's going to take strong will to change it too. That river wasn't formed overnight, nor will it be redirected without some conscious, strenuous effort on your part. You will have to make quality decisions every day, choosing to think good thoughts and rejecting the bad ones. Look for the good in every "bad" situation (the good is in there somewhere).
Our thoughts contain tremendous power over our lives and our well being. When you think of positive thoughts, they will ultimately lead you to happiness. When ever negative thoughts or bad feelings start coming about, you must stop, focus, find something good, and change your thoughts.
It's hard...boy is it hard, but in the end, you will be the one in control of your mood...your joy...your peace of mind.
you'll first start out forgetting that you're suppose to be thinking positive thoughts and remember only after the fact.
Then you'll think negatively but remind yourself that you are only suppose to be thinking positively.
Then you catch yourself right before thinking negatively and change it immediately to a positive thought.
Then positive thoughts start filling your mind instead of the negative ones.
No, it's not fool proof... Negative thoughts are always going to try to find a way in; however, you choose whether or not to keep them or cast them out.
It just gets easier to cast them out as you progress in your positivity.
I can't tell you how much this has changed my life. I still go coo-coo from time to time, I'm human...And when I find myself struggling to focus on the good, I come here for support, or to offer advice to others - which makes me feel good also.
I fill a negative void with something positive.
When my children are demanding a lot of my attention and the laundry and dishes are piling up, instead of thinking "I wish they'd leave me alone for a little while so I can get the laundry and dishes done" (which I was guilty of thinking in the past), I choose now to think " I must be a pretty good mom for my children to want to be with me and have me do things with them so much".
This is not easy to do because it's not a quick fix and it's really hard to find something good when we're feeling so bad...But, nothing in life worth having comes easily (I say that a lot), and this life skill is definitely worth having.
You just have to find the power within yourself to become strong minded. Your mind is the most powerful tool you'll ever have and once you have control over it, you have the power to choose peace of mind.
A few tips to help you get started...
When I was first starting out on this journey, I too felt like you, afraid I was going to explode with anger, so I really know where you're coming from.
When my children were having inconsolable tantrums and I needed to stop and focus but couldn't because of the distractions, I'd put them in a safe place, step outside and close the door. I'd take one breath and one step at a time away from the house until I could no longer hear them. Then I'd think about how to get the situation under control. Step by step I knew what I needed to do when I reentered the house. I would think of positive strategies and positive thoughts of myself. For example I'd think, "I'm a nurturing mother. I love my kids and they need me to be strong", "I'm going to go in that house and be the most caring person in the world right now, I'm going to get control over the situation and have a nice day". Then I'd find it inside myself to accomplish it...
If you are feeling guilt over this situation, that tells me that you are a caring person that has empathy and compassion and that you have what it takes to give this a try... It tells me that you don't want to feel bad or be angry anymore... It tells me you're ready to get control...
Kae