Hello everyone.

Right, I had been in a relationship with a girl I loved for 2 and half years, we first started dating when she was 16 and I was 17. (I am now 20 and she is 19) She was the girl I've always wanted to meet, funny, beautiful basically everything which I was looking for. We started as just friends but it quickly developed into a relationship and we first started dating while at college together, we had a rocky start due to an ex who would ring her and try and speak to her, but we worked out our differences and things just set off. While we were together everything seemed to be going really well, she told me how much she loved me and everything seem to be so natural with her.

I know we were young, but we acted very mature for our age and any arguments where settled and discussed in a mature way. We both had a large group of friends and we understood the importance of our friends, for example if her friends had something planned for a weekend I would say you should go as I could always see her the following day etc. She had her girly holidays once a year and I had holidays with my friends and everything was flowing perfectly.

We did spent a lot of time together almost seeing each other everyday (mind you was only for 5 or 10 minutes sometimes) Anyway, so this year I went away this year to see some family, before I went everything was perfect, we both where working and enjoying our lives and relationship etc, and while I was away we spoke almost everyday and everything seemed fine.

When I returned a bomb shell was dropped on me, she told be over text that she didn't want a relationship anymore. On top of that a couple of days later I was told I was being made redundant at my work. I was in complete shock, and obviously asked why, she said that she hadn't missed me as much as she thought she was going to and thinks she's fallen out of love... I went to see her face to face and asked her what was going on. I asked her is there someone else or something I've done but she tells me there is no one else and that she does not want to get/or be with anyone else.

I had tried to contact her a few times but she says that she feels it for the best. We have been apart now for almost 3 half month but I still think about her everyday, feels like she has just completely forgot about me. I truly love this girl she made me so happy and I can't get my head around it all. I have been doing my best buy taking my friends advice and going out, keeping busy but she constantly on my mind.. I'm wondering if anyone knows if she will come back or what I should do?

Thanks

Just to add, this is the first time I've ever done one of these internet things so all feedback is welcome...

3 and a half months is not that long after. A serious relationship so your still in shock which is normal


My. Advice though is to stay no contact and move on with your life
Why would you want to be with someone that does not want to. Be with you?
You won't be able. To talk her round and understanding her way of thinking won help either


Read these forums and the stickies up. Top they will help you out so much and let you know that you are. A alone in this

Break. Ups are always sudden for one person but for the other it's a planned event she didn't just think one day oh hey time ot break up she was planning it for a while she had some thoughts in the back of her head and you going away gave her that out but don't blame yourself in going away because it would have happened one way or another

All the best

Im doing no contact at the moment, the last I spoke to her was a month ago.
It was so out of character of her and I still think about her and love her
Is there a chance she could come back?

That's not the question you should be asking yourself.. The question is... How am I going to continue with my life and my own happiness and not wait around for something that may or may not happen.

You should focus on yourself and get out and do things that will take your mind off her
Your still young so it's hard to let go I know.
But you thinking snout her and that constant wondering will do. You no good at all.

Stick to your guns and move on


For the record no I don't think she will come back. She is 19 years old and probable wants to run free for a bit

Thank you for the advice, I will take it onborad.
Im doing everything I can to keep myself busy
No I understand that she wants to go out and be free, that's what I'm trying to do this moment in time, I was more thinking ahead whether she will come back..

Leaving her alone is a good thing so you can shake the shock, and denial, but I sure wouldn't count on her coming back if she hasn't in 3 months.

Sorry for your loss, I know it sucks. Break ups always do.

No. Just keep NC up.

That requires serious balls.

Its normal to keep up hope but, only a fools game.

Look forward, not behind.

Better yet, what about right now?

Feeling good or bad?
Spend your life feeling good. Not bad.

Im keeping the no contact though it is hard at times
Can't say I'm better, I feel it's a massive part of me missing
I want to know if there is anything more I can do, should I jump ship and say she will never come back or just do as I'm doing now and maybe a chance she will after some time to figure herself out

Being on NC is jumping ship.

That means no her. For good.

Over the edge, into the icy water, treading.

Until you fill up w/water or freeze. But you did that already. She dumped you.

Im being dramatic. You get the picture...

One thing I know is that "missing" never serves anyone.
A useless thing. Far away.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mikey11

Im keeping the no contact though it is hard at times
Can't say im better, I feel its a massive part of me missing
I want to know if there is anything more I can do, should i jump ship and say she will never come back or just do as im doing now and maybe a chance she will after some time to figure herself out

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Its normal to feel that way until we can make the right adjustments for ourselves, we have all had to do it, and some of us more than a few times in our life. Read the stickies here, and see how others have dealt with their break ups.

The bottom line is to do your thing and build a life that you enjoy without the exes, through family, friends and activities that make you happy. If you avoid the confusion and drama that contact with her will cause you, eventually you will get over the feelings of loss, and be able to move beyond this to other options, and opportunities for fun, love, and happiness.

You won't be stuck on someone who isn't stuck on you, or waiting in limbo hoping they change their mind. You can start clean, fresh, and good to go!!

Thank you for the advice!
It was a very sudden ending to the relationship no warning what's ever so I suppose I never believed it and hoped that she had made a mistake
Im trying to build my life without her now, I admit it is hard as we did enjoy doing a lot of things together but I will have to get through it...

It is tough isn't it when you go to the movies you go there without her

It will pass in time allow yourself to feel
Nothing wrong in that we can control our feelings but our actions we can
And you must start doing things to better yourself

When I was in my early 20s losing a relationship sucked!

But everyone I did I learnt from
Learnt about myself and what I want out of life and from a partner
And found boundaries on the way I wanted to be treated as well
And most importantly not to lose ones self in a relationship that is very common so when your partner goes a part of you goes with them as well, and that can be very painful

I use to like getting dumped it gave me so much focus! I have done some of the most amazing things in my life after an ending of a relationship
I joined on a gym and got into amazing shape and that gave me a lot of self confidence but that was me many others learn a new. Skill like guitar or drawing

This is where you need to focus your energy into

Not eating pizza drinking and crying on the toilet.

Be pro active even if you don't want do pit will pay off in the end trust me

All the best

What do I do if I see her in town? Do I approach her and talk or just avoid any contact? She's constantly in my mind and still miss her terribly

Polite, but unavailable, as the goal is to not stir up old feelings and temptations of trying to get her back with friendly contact. This only slows the healing process, and brings you more confusion, and false hope that she missed you and wants you back.

Dumpers are generally open to being friendly, and but its pure denial of what has transpired on your part, that this is a signal to keep trying to make her your world again. This will only add to your misery.

So hi, bye, and go about your business is the strategy. For sure, until you heal and accept its no more romance, and she is no longer interested in you, you both are lousy friends for each other.

Until you have yourself under emotional control, you will be lousy friends. Until you are over her completely, you are a lousy friend, and that's a good way to hurt yourself. You must recognize now the emotional wounds are still fresh and open, and protect yourself, until you heal properly.

We all know its not easy, and will be harder until it gets better. This is a life lesson that stays with you, about how you cope with your own feelings, and make good decisions for yourself. This is but your first real test.

Its only been a month guy, go for two months of NC, then 3, then 4... keep it up for as long as it takes to heal, and be better.

Just want some advice, me and my ex have been split now for 5 months I'm in no contact and keeping myself busy with work/going out with friends etc but Im still think about her everyday, do you think I should say to her or try and message her at all?

Why break NC now? Go for another month.

Because I'm thinking maybe I should tell her how I feel, she constantly in my mind and in 2 weeks we would have been together 3 years...

Anniversaries, holidays, and birthdays are really tough, but stay on the path. Write a letter instead, pour your feelings out, and burn the letter. Less guilt, drama, confusion, or misery!

I was with my first and only love for almost 7 years when she left me a few months before our wedding date. All I can say is it sucks man. It hurts and hurts and nothing will truly help it except time. You can let it ruin your days and nights, or you can force the hurt back and try to live your life till the pain goes away. It took me years to finally let go. The only positive thing you can do is accept it and go on.

Anyone dumb enough to hold that knife called love's gonna get cut sooner or later, cut deep and hard

I have excepted it but it is difficult, do any of you believe if its meant to be she will find her way back? Or is it more once you break up the likely hood is your never be back together?