Long distance - My girlfriend needs a break
Hi
I started dating this girl in December 2010. I used to live in D.C. And she lives in Northern Virginia. We started dating and we really clicked. We used to see each other 4-5 days a week and we grew really fond of each other. In May 2011 I got a job offer in TX. I was unhappy with my job in D.C. And one in TX was too good to give up on. Before moving to TX I told myself that this'll be for a year and I'll move back in May 2012. I knew that this was going to be hard but knew this was good for our future. She was really supportive about it and acyually was the only one who helped me packed and actually drove with me to TX from D.C. The issue was I had to work weekends and she has a regular job because of which we could only see each other once every 4-5 weeks and that too just for 2-3 days in 4-5 weeks at a stretch. We never used to talk over the phone when I was in D.C. As both of us are not phone people. But after moving we used to talk every day over the phone and when you see a erson less than once a month and try to compress everything in 2-3 days it does get awkward. And it did. I got a call from her last week saying that she wants to break up. It was a bomb for me and I was shocked. I cried but contacted her a couple of days after. She didn't pick up. I contacted her landline again after a couple of hours and she said she thought I had butt dialed and started crying thinking that I had gotten over her and just butt dialed her. I told her it's not the case and I really wish to be together. She said she has been drinking and is unable to make a decision but doesn't want me to visit VA to see her. I did fly down anyway 2 days after that and showed up at her house with flowers. We argued a lot that night. I actually spoke to my managers and got off permanantly from weekend shifts and on regular mon-fri schedule.
I told her that and also that I am willing to fly down every weekend just to see her. She said she had lost the spark and doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to date me. She mentioned that she has anxiety issues even with her best friends when she doesn't see them for a couple of weeks at a stretch.
I stayed in a hotel for a couple of days and on each day we went out for dinner. We held hands and she was OK with me kissing on her cheeks. We talked and I backed off with giving her some space and a break that she needed. She seemed OK with it and said that we could try again when I move back or after some time when she has had some time to get over her anxiety. I know for a fact that there is no other guy and she lives with her parents and I talked to them. They assured me of it but I knew it all along. They like me a lot and invited both of us at their lakehouse to spend Saturday night. We went wine testing together and had a wonderful time.
I asked her if she is doing it to just let me off easy and said No, and that if she thought that nothing was ever a possibility between us then she wouldn't have gone out with me 3 nights in a row.
I really really like this girl a lot and I have never had these kinds of feelings for anyone else. We kissed when I left and her mom cooked me a dinner.
I am crazy about this girl and I know I need to give her time. I am prepared to give her a month. But I just don't want her to get over me in a month. I am not going to contact her any way for a month. Do you guys think I am doing the right thing here? Is there something subtle that I am missing? I am ready to move back earlier for her but I want her to give us a shot before I move cause if I move and give up this awesome job and then if it doesn't work that will just crush me
Thank you.