Should I talk to the guy my best friend likes?
Hello!
My friend likes (liked?) a guy named Samuel. Here's her situation:
She's a gorgeous, sweet, caring person. Naturally, she has a lot of guys tell her they "love" her. She always seems to like them back when they show interest in her, but only two have ever actually gotten really close to her. One, Sam. The second, Michael.
She was completely infatuated with Sam a couple years ago. She seemed completely in love. Or, as in love as a teenager can be. Anyway, Sam liked her back. He e-mailed me asking to help him tweek a poem he had written for her, she was always very defensive of his long hair that I liked to tease her about. Then... she met Michael.
Michael is a couple of years older than my friend, and he told her right away that he wasn't looking for a friendship with her. She seemed to promptly forget about Sam, and now they're in a pretty serious relationship. At least, more serious than the one with Sam. I don't know all the details of what's going on between her and Sam, but she never talks about him anymore. From what I know she hardly talks TO him anymore either.
Now, my situation. Rewind to when my friend was devoted to Sam. According to her, me and Sam are completely alike. We dislike the same foods, like the same foods, like the same bands, we're both painfully shy, etc. I always acted like that bothered me, but really, I was kind of pleased. Honestly, I sort of liked Sam too. Of course, she liked him, so I never said anything or let my feelings grow any.
Unfortunately, during that time, I was obnoxiously sarcastic and condescending to Sam. I was in a phase where being that way was cool to me. (How I managed to keep my friends, I'll never know! :P) Me and Sam talked a bit, but it was only arguing. Friendly arguing mind you, but there wasn't any real chitchat.
Fast forward to now! My friend likes Michael, I haven't hardly talked to Sam, neither has she. Sam's e-mail account was recently hacked, and it sent an e-mail to all of his contacts asking them to click on this super special link. Me, being a contact, got the e-mail. Finding it a PERFECT opportunity to talk to him, I replied. A couple days passed, and I forgot all about it. I thought, "Of course he won't reply! I was a jerk, why should he?" And then, he replied. So I replied, he replied, etc.
Now, to the question! Should I continue talking to Sam, even though I have a bit of a "crush" on him? I don't want to develop stronger feelings for him, because I don't know where my friend stands with him. I don't want to assume she's forgotten about him just because she has a new guy she likes. At the same time, I don't want to blow him off just because I'm scared I'll hurt my friend, and I don't want to stop the chances of what might be a relationship in the future.
Thank you for even reading this long thing!