My sons father hasn't seen my our son in 3 years. He hasn't tried to contact him in those 3 years either. His father is in to bad things and is in hiding I know what city he lives in just don't know where he lives. I haven't gotten child support from him in those 3 years either. He never holds a job or if he does he has it just long enough and when child support kicks in he quits. My son is child 7 for him and I just found out his girlfreind is pregnant with kid number 9. I want this man out of my life totally and want to keep him away from my son. He has never helped mw with our son. He is really far behind in child support with the other children also. I know that I'm never going to get anything out of him and am tired of chasing something I will never get. Now that he is adding another kid to the mix is terrible and unfair that he can be out there making all these children and not having to take care of any of them. I want his parental rights taken away that way I don't have to worry about him coming around wanting to see my son or if anything happens to me that he tries to fight my mom for our son. I know that he hasn't shown any interest in our son but I am worried that some day he might. My son is better off without his father. What can I do to get his rights taken away? I get letters from child support all the time asking if I know his where abouts and I don't. They can't find him. I want to be done with the whole situation. I have raised my son myself for 3.5 years and can continue to do so with out the help of his"father". What is the best thing for me to do>

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Originally Posted by brycereif

... What is the best thing for me to do>

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Please start a new thread rather than borrowing an old one. We don't need to read all that information that doesn't apply to you, and often we tend to read it without checking the date to see that it's old, wasting our time in so doing.

In answer to your question, TPR is normally only available for an adoption. Please read this sticky thread.

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on someone else's. This can lead to confusion. You should start a new thread. So I've moved your question to its own thread.

Second, ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

However, there is little you can do. Only a court can terminate parental rights and courts are very reluctant to do so. Generally they will only do so to clear the way for an adoption or if the parent represents a danger to the child. Neither appears to be the case here. At this time he is not exercising those rights so the courts will ask why terminate them.

I understand you don't want him coming back into your life, but that's not how the courts will look at it. The best thing you can do is to get on with your life. Hopefully you will meet someone you can spend the rest of your life with and he will adopt your son.

I fully understand how you feel, it is a terrible thing to sit in fear that this man could come back and ask for anything.

But you have very little choices in most areas. While the courts can take away a persons rights, they seldom do. In some areas if he has long term prison time to serve they may take rights away ( but this is seldom). In my home state of GA for example, merely not visiting and not paying support is not enough to take rights away.

So where do you start, you can first if he has any court ordered visits, go back to court and ask for those to be modified so he has no current rights to visit.

But it appears he is not coming around, so that will be best at this point,

Sorry I didn't mean to piggyback my question to another persons. We live in Iowa. My sons father is into selling drugs so I feel it is a danger to my son if he were to be around him at all. I know his father has also been beat up a few times by some people and I don't know the reasons but I can only imagine why. I know he has gone to jail for assault of an officer and a women that is if what he told me is correct. When I left him he threatened me telling me I had better watch my back back and how he would make my life a living hell so I moved out of the city we lived in to get away from him and all the people he had watching me.A friend told me all I had to do was go to the court house fill out some papers see a judge and then they would decide what to do and try and contact the father. I don't know if this is the right way to do it or what. I want to at least try and see what I can do.

He doesn't have court ordered visits we never went to court for custody or anything when we broke up. It was just understood that I would have our son and that's just what he has done to the 4 other women he has children by. He obviously doesn't want responsibility of the children but continues to have them. I don't understand why we can't have a law or something about people who have all these kids don't take care of them and keep having more why there isn't anything to stop this. He lied to me and said he had 3 kids then when I'm about ready to have mine he tells me the truth and says my child is number 7. so another question I have is child support keeps asking me if I have any information on his whereabouts but I have o clue what can I do to find him?

With his record you may be able to get his rights terminated. But until he tries to exercise those rights I wouldn't bother.

As for child support, unless there is a support order, he isn't behind in support. The support agency, probably has better resources to find him than you do. Just give them all the info you have on him.

As for laws, I am in favor of involuntary sterilization in extreme cases like yours. People, both men and woman, shouldn't be allowed to indiscriminately have babies then can't care for. But it is a very unpopular issue. On the other hand, I have to say that you bear some responsibility here. You chose to have sex with this person. I understand he lied to you, but you shouldn't be engaging in sex with someone unless you know them very well. I know that's not what you want to hear, but you have to face the reality of the situation.

P.S. piggybacking is not an uncommon mistake that new members make. No need to apologize.

There is a support order for him. We were together for 4 years in that amount of time you think you would know someone and I left him when my son was 4 months old. I face the reality of the situation every day. I have given the agency everything I have on him and they still can't find him. I know I do bear some responsibility in having a child by him when you are with someone for 4 years you wouldn't think that they would lie to you about everything they are and what choice do you have but to believe what they tell you. I had no reason to think he was lying to me in the first place until right before I had our son. Thank you for your help I didn't know much about terminating parental rights. I have heard of child abandonment too but I've also heard you can't file child abandonment on a parent because they chose not to see a child I was just wondering what that was all about because I thought child abandonment was if you left your child with someone for quite awhile that was child abandonment

Child Abandonment is generally a criminal offense when you leave a child without adult supervision. Abandonment may be used as grounds for something else in custody issues, but its not a charge in itself.

P.S. when posting a follow-up question or info, please use the Answer options at the bottom of the page rather than the Comments.