Why has my 21 year old boyfriends sex drive decreased?
I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 21. We have been together for 2 and a half years and have been living together for almost a year. When we first got together he wanted sex far more often than me, like every night I stayed over so it ended up being between 4 and 6 times a week. Not only that, but he used to want to do the other stuff more too. When we first moved in together, I noticed his sex drive immediately went down but I put it down to the fact that we had both gone through a big change (it was the first time either of us had moved out of our parents homes, and we had stuff like bills and money and new jobs to deal with). After a couple of months, we started to do it more again (still no where near as much as we used to, perhaps once or twice a week, but again I put this down to the fact that the initial excitement of a new relationship had gone after being together for 18months).
However, in the past couple of months it has really decreased again, and I'm not sure why. I have tried to talk to him about it but he just puts it down to the fact that he's tired as he has a very physical job (however, he has had this job the whole time we've been together and his duties at work haven't changed). I've tried loads of things to get him excited... dressing up, talking dirty, even taking him away for the weekend just the two of us, but still I'm lucky if we have sex once a month now.
He tells me that it's nothing to do with me and his attraction for me hasn't changed, and neither of us have ever been unfaithful to each other, I just don't know what to do. It's not really that I want to make him have sex with me more, it's more that I'm worried there's something he isn't telling me as it does seem really out of character for him, and I don't want to just carry on as if there's nothing wrong when really something is bothering him. As I said, I've tried to talk to him about it but he never wants a discussion, just says he's tired etc.
Please help, because I'm really struggling and I love him and want to make this work.
Comment on rebeccahstrean's post
Listen love thanks for the amazingly insightful feedback, but no he really isn't lol.
Comment on Cat1864's post
Well we both moved out of our parents homes just under a year ago, so had new things to deal with like bills and money responsibilities and stuff. So stuff has changed. To be honest, neither of us have a lot of time doing other stuff outside the relationship and work. I think you're both right in the sense that I just need to stop focusing on sex as the problem and start focusing on the things that are good in our relationship... That way, I won't be putting any pressure on him, and we could start having fun again instead of focusing on this big elephant in the room. Thank you everyone.