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-   -   Moving in with the partner. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=583769)

  • Jun 24, 2011, 05:58 AM
    mango99
    Moving in with the partner.
    This is my first time moving in with another man. We are currently in a relationship. My question is - what responsibilities do I have to him?

    I have moved into his place and he pays for the bills and his mortgage. I keep asking him if he needs money for anything and he says he doesn't. He seems to get guilty when asking for any finances off me. I work full time and feel as if I should chip in somehow. I cook, clean and am currently re-decorating his place.

    I am wondering in most relationships when a female moves in with a man, what the set up is in terms of money and household responsibilities? Are all relationships different? Should I just get accustomed to whatever method we have set up mutually now?

    Thanks in advance for any advice given :)
  • Jun 24, 2011, 09:53 AM
    talaniman

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ng-556105.html

    If this is the same guy, then since you made the choice to live together, then you must also make a commitment to talk and get the terms of good behavior and expectations defined. After the lust is gone, then you must have something else to build this relationship on, and that's where the talking honestly and listening comes in.

    Oh, don't worry, you will be tested, but you will also have to learn, about him, as well as yourself. A live in girlfriend is not a wife, and when you have questions or doubts, express them.

    Then you will see where you are going.
  • Jun 25, 2011, 07:53 AM
    Jake2008
    I agree with Tal.

    You are not married, and have no obligation to each other to pool your financial resources.

    Until you do have that comittment in your relationship, then I would consider (just my opinion here) everything should be shared equally.

    If you make less money than he does, I would contribute a set amount to what you and he decide is a fair amount- what would rent cost for example- and then as you've already said, there is value in the decorating, house keeping, cooking, cleaning etc. that would cost him if he were to hire someone.

    If he flat out refuses to accept money from you, this is what I would do. Get a ledger of some kind (the buck stores have them), and put a determined amount of money into a savings account. Tell him your contribution will go toward what the two of you decide- a new roof, a vacation, car repairs etc.

    I would not feel comfortable being 'taken care of' as honourable a man as he is, and find a way to contribute in an equal way to shared accommodation.
  • Jul 6, 2011, 04:26 PM
    hashma
    I think you should get accustom to it,some man like to feel independent,so let him handle the bills and you handle running the home

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