Before I start, this has been stressing my out for a while now and I wish to get it sorted, my friends have been great but they just say "go with your heart" and that isn't enough anymore...
There is this lad in work that I like and he really likes me. But there is far too much between us that would mess a relationship up. For starters I have the most strict parents ever, although I have never spoken to them about it I know they would be unhappy and disown me. This guy smokes, does drugs, gets pissed a lot etc etc, but deep down I see through all that, he's not my normal type, but he has such a lovely personality and he is a really nice guy and I do want to date him. BUt I imagine my parents would possibly say no, and even if I went behind their back there would still be issues like if I said I'm going out they want to know wher, why, how, when, when I will be home etc etc!
This is just on my mind 24/7 as I want to be with him but I KNOW I can't because of everythin my parents would do and say and also I hate the way I look and I feel really self conccious and I'm not even sure I want to be in a proper relationship. Please help me out by giving me your advice, you can see how confused and how much this is getting to me now!
Thanks xx

I'm sorry but I would have to agree with what your parents would think of this. Maybe he is a nice guy deep down but fact of the matter is he doesn't have a good head on his shoulders and to get involved with someone who does drugs is never a good thing for a lot of reasons, which I'm sure I don't have to preach that to you. And you say he's mad a lot. Well, ask yourself why that is. I don't know this person but from what you say about him it sounds like he is a very unhappy person whom has no respect for himself and probably don't for the women he dates as well. I feel for you though, to have to work with this guy and see him everyday and yet to have feelings for him. That would be hard. But just keep in mind that guys who don't respect themselves won't respect you.

I've been down the path he is on. Its not a good path. I brought down the people I dated. Drugs will do a lot to someone.and its all bad. Its hard to let go of people you care about and like a lot. But it can be done. I'm doing it right now with my ex. Just find someone else and get to know them. You don't want to mess up things with your parents. Believe me. Its hard to work things back out with your parents when you go behing their back if you need any advice just send me a message I'll do what I can to help you.

It is up to you to decide, not your parents, but think twice if its healthy for you.
Is it possible that you want him so much because you know no one around would aprove of it? Maybe he is the forbidden fruit, that you want to get so bad.
Think if it's good for you and what kind of experience you would get from him. Remember, if you are dating a person, who does drugs, that's already a bad beginning.
Good luck!

You are in a tough situation but all I can say is that I wouldn't go for him. He seems OK to get to know as friends but no more. There is another guy out there for you but this doesn't sem like the right one.

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Originally Posted by stressed_out

Before I start, this has been stressing my out for a while now and I wish to get it sorted, my friends have been great but they just say "go with your heart" and that isn't enough anymore...
There is this lad in work that I like and he really likes me. But there is far too much between us that would mess a relationship up. For starters I have the most strict parents ever, although I have never spoken to them about it I know they would be unhappy and disown me. This guy smokes, does drugs, gets pissed a lot etc etc, but deep down I see through all that, hes not my normal type, but he has such a lovely personality and he is a really nice guy and I do want to date him. BUt i imagine my parents would possibly say no, and even if i went behind their back there would still be issues like if i said im goin out they want to know wher, why, how, when, when i wil b home etc etc!
This is just on my mind 24/7 as i want to be with him but i KNOW i can't because of everythin my parents would do and say and also i hate the way i look and i feel really self conccious and im not even sure i want to be in a proper relationship. Please help me out by giving me your advice, you can see how confused and how much this is gettin to me now!
Thanks xx

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Whatever! How old are you? If you like him and he likes you, why not go out. I know there your parent but who are you going to spend you life with. He might not even be the one for you ,but how will you know if you don't try.your going to meet some bad ones,but that's life.and im not the most beautifulist person in the world but girl its all about how you carry yourself. Get dress up and go have some fun because you don't have forever