I am looking for some advice on how to deal with this, I am due to speak to my ex tonight because he wants to see our son. Our son is nearly 4 and we separated when he was 6 months old. Until my son was around 2 years old he was unreliable with money, often didn't give me any but saw our son every month or so, but did not keep to dates or times and often left me waiting with a small child and he wouldn't turn up. He hasn't seen him for a year and now wants contact, I am not prepared to meet with him and let him see our son as he is so unreliable but want to know what to say when he calls tonight? I want to sound confident and sure of myself and not dither. I just don't know where to start. Any help would be great : )

Do you have a Court Order concerning support and visitation? Or either?

If you don't have Order concerning visitation and your "ex" is the acknowledged father he could take the child and not bring him back. You would then have to go to Court to get the child back - and it would take time.

If he's only going to SEE the child (and not take him) it's your choice. Do you want him in your son's life, only to disappear again?

I don't think confidence is an issue here. He has rights as the father but he cannot exercise them until the Court says he can.

If he is not giving you money and is in violation of a Court Order, go back and have him held in contempt. If there is no Court Ordered support - why?