My boyfriend recently split up with me. We were together for 8 years and we were each others first love. We met when we were 16. We have had such a great relationship, with its ups and downs of course, but we get on so well and I thought we had something very special. He told me about a month ago that he no longer loves me and that he wants to be on his own, and experience life on his own. He moved away from me 8 months ago, to further his career. I was always very supportive of him and let him do his thing. I understand that being apart can affect a relationship but I can't help but feel that he has thrown a great thing away. I feel lonely, sad and depressed and constantly think of him. His father is very sick too and I feel that he is running away from all his commitments in life to think of himself. Can anyone help make sense of all this?

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I know how difficult it is. He could very well be running away from commitment. You are both the age where people start thinking about marriage, especially when you have been together so long. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot you can do about it. He has to decide for himself what he wants. It may be that in moving away he has found he likes his independence. He may need to experience single life.

The best thing you can do now is to accept that this is where you are at, and to figure out where to go from here. It's time to devote your attention to you and what you want. Are you in school? Working? Are you happy with what you are doing? Is there anything you would like to learn about? Are you taking good care of yourself - eating right, sleeping, exercising? You will get through this ordeal easier if you have a plan, keep busy, and move forward.

You have been together a really long time, and it will take a long time to really accept that you are on your own now. See it as a challenge to find out what kind of life you want for yourself. I don't think he will be back, and I don't think he wants what you want right now, but you are both young, and he wasn't ready to settle down.