My husband's grandmother died on our wedding day.
My husband and I have been together for 11 years, I've engaged with him for 9 years, 2 years ago, we've decided to tie the knot, we have planned our wedding for over 18 months, I was so happy and so excited about the wedding, I was the happiest person I ever have.
2 months before our wedding, his grandmother had a stroke, she has been in the intensive care in the hospital for few weeks, she's got better eventually and she was transferred to the local nursing home, we thought she will be able to attend to our wedding. Few days before our wedding, her health gone down hill rapidly, she couldn't eat, drink, talk and she can't even open up her eyes, the whole family was very upset including myself. A day before our wedding, she had developed fluid in her organs, the Doctor gave her morphine to help her to relief pain. I was extremely upset the whole time, I couldn't eat well and I couldn't sleep, I was crying in bed and I was praying that I hope she'll be OK, I hope that nothing will happens on our special day... we've got married on the 9th of January 2010, 5 minutes after the wedding ceremony, we received a bad news about the passing of his grandmother, my heart was broken in pieces, I was in tears, I can't face the truth that why god had to take her away that day, I can't believe it happened to us, I couldn't feel the joy to celebrate our special day, I've tried so hard to hide my tears in front of the guests.
Today is our first year of anniversary, I'm feeling very depressed, I don't even want to celebrate our anniversary at all... it reminds me the pain on our special day. All my bad memories flashed back in my mind at the moment, every time when I look forward to do something special, something bad will happen, like 3 months before our wedding, the day I've planned to take my (used to be) best friend to the local tulip farm, 6 o'clock in the morning, my mum knock on the door and said my dad had a car accident, he was in the hospital and he lost conscious, I've had a panic attack and was so worried that I might lose my dad, all I want to do was to rush to the hospital and see my dad... I've called my friend straight away and I apologized that I was not able to take her to the tulip farm today because my dad was in the hospital, the first thing she said was 'Oh~ OK, so I'm going back to sleep then if we are not going to Tulip farm!', I was so angry and speechless, I can't believe what she have just said and the fact that she doesn't even care about my dad's life considered she was holding a one year working visa visiting Australia, my parents offered her a full time job and she was staying at my parents' house for free, I can't believe she doesn't even appreciate and care my family... anyway my dad gained his conscious 2 days later, he was in the rehab center for 2 months learn to walk again, he was doing fine and he walked me down the aisle on my special day.
I've had a very difficult time in the past 2 years, I've lost my 18 years friendship with her, I don't want to meet people, I can't trust friends anymore, I've lost interest to do things that I want because I am scare of something bad will happen, I hated myself and I feel upset all the time. I want to be happy again and I want to move on, does anyone can give advice what should I do to forget my past?
Comment on Jake2008's post
I've changed my personality since that day, I've tried so hard to forget the past but it isn't easy at all.
Here's my full story
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Hate-My-Friends/1350656
I'm going to see counselor tomorrow, thank you!
Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
I know that day is just a day, also is a day that hard to forget, anyway I went to see the counselor yesterday, felt a bit better today, I'm working on focus on the good side, I'm trying so hard to be positive, hope time will change my thought.
Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
I'm hearing you, I'm trying my best focusing on the positive, hope time and professional advice helps get me out of the box, thank you!
Comment on Altenweg's post
True, all my family and relatives think Grandma held on to life until our special day. I guess all the unforeseen things happened at the same time, therefore I couldn't focus on the positive. I hope this year will make a much better year.
Comment on dontknownuthin's post
Yes, you're right, I should move on with life and allow myself to be happy, I am hoping to do something special for our next anniversary, thank you!