I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, But recently I felt like he was treating me badly and we just argued all the time so I decided to end it, Foolish as I was. But I then said if we can sort this out, We can get back together and he said okay but then later on that day he decided he didn't want to sort it out and he said he didn't love me anymore and didn't have any feelings for me, How can he not feel anything after 2 years:( ? I just want him back now but I don't know what to do or what to say to him, I really need some help :confused:

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Originally Posted by HeinzBeanz

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, But recently i felt like he was treating me badly and we just argued all the time so i decided to end it, Foolish as i was. But i then said if we can sort this out, We can get back together and he said okay but then later on that day he decided he didnt want to sort it out and he said he didnt love me anymore and didnt have any feelings for me, How can he not feel anything after 2 years:( ? I just want him back now but i dont know what to do or what to say to him, I really need some help :confused:

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It looks as if your gut instinct was right. He was treating you badly and it was because of the very reasons he gave you. It's heartache, that's what your feeling and it will pass. He rejected you after you rejected him, as if it was his idea, when in reality he never had the courage to end it with you like he really wanted to. He decided to treat you badly instead.
Be strong, get engaged in a good book. Look up some old friends you haven't seen in a while and establish some friendships that are not contingent on anything.
Give yourself a break, time will make it easier. And you were the grounded one. Don't lose your ground now.
And remember the pain you feel is normal and probably even healthy (let's you know your alive and you care).
I would suggest you don't make any contact nor receive any contact and it shall pass more quick.
Good Luck

Why was it foolish to end this relationship if you were treated so badly and argued all the time? What was foolish was to go back to him. Hey chalk it up move on, and don't worry about spilt milk. Don't contact him at all, and get a life you enjoy. I suggest you be very strong and resist his attempt to get back with you at this time, as the time alone can benefit you greatly if you focus on yourself and what you want, and leave him alone.

He was rejected by you and that probably hurt him, he is now repaying this rejection back to you. He probably resents that you ended it and would have preferred it if he was the one to have initiated the break-up. By going back to him and asking for another chance to make it work, you fed him the opportunity to pay back the rejection. I would stay away and give yourself time to heal. It sounds to me as if this relationship was over for some time in the sense that communication evidently broke down and you were arguing constantly. If you really want him back, then give him some space, do not contact him for a few months. Ask yourself though, why do you want him back?

The relationship ended for a reason and perhaps the fact that he rejected you back makes you want him again. Is that a healthy foundation for getting back together? How soon before you broke up again if neither of you has taken positive steps to change?

Ask yourself these questions and think about them realistically, rather than seeing this as the fantasy that 'we are meant to be'.

I just want him back.. but I want to get over him too, He said he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. But I don't know what to do!

He has told you straight that he does not want anything to do with you anymore. There is nothing you can do, any pressure from your end will push him further and further away. The only thing that could possibly work is to give him space and do not contact him but I really think this is over and probably a very slim chance of you getting back together with him. Perhaps let the dust settle for a while, a lot of emotional damage has been done here and you will only make it worse by pushing him to get back with you. I understand the pain you must be feeling and I am sorry if my words do not offer much comfort in terms of telling you what you would like to hear. I really think you should pull away from this situation and put it down to experience. Sure it will hurt for a while but you will get through it. There are plenty of people who go through this everyday and by plenty, I mean millions, me also although I was the one left behind. It does not matter, you realise you made a mistake but you must respect his decision to not want you in his life. If you care for him, you will let him go.. It is hard to accept this but it is important in dealing with the loss and to help you to move on. I have every confidence that you will be able to do this and I wish you the very best in this journey!

I do want to let him go.. but its so hard, I need something to keep me occupied or anything, Just something that will help

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Originally Posted by HeinzBeanz

I do want to let him go.. but its so hard, I need something to keep me occupied or anything, Just something that will help

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If it is of any comfort, I am 4 months post breakup and have come a long way since that first dreadful month. I was in so much emotional pain, I could hardly breath and I was also physically sick. I was with my ex for 3 years and was engaged to her and thought we would be together for life.. I really thought she was the one but in September last year she told me she did not want to be with me anymore. Lots of factors.. If you like, you can read my thread to see what happened, maybe there is some advice there for you also that you can relate to your own situation in some way.. Here is the link:https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...elp-39548.html

Try this.. It is my favourite advice and has worked for me, I still feel pain from time to time but this does help the healing:

1.) Maintain NO CONTACT -- NO LETTERS, E-MAILS, PHONE CALLS, TEXTS, No Checking MYSPACE, NOTHING!

2.) Keep yourself busy, go to the gym, take up an old hobby, spend time with friends and relatives, whatever.. Try to avoid alcohol where possible (it won't help)

3.)Try not to dwell on the past too much, focus on what you can do for yourself to improve you, as a person. Perhaps you have lost part of who you were before you met him. Try to establish what this was and get it back.

Time is the greatest healer and will put everything into perspective.

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Originally Posted by HeinzBeanz

I do want to let him go.. but its so hard, I need something to keep me occupied or anything, Just something that will help

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I hope you see that most of the problem was you making him so much a part of your life that you have forgotten who you are, and what are you about, and THAT is so scary, I know. Think back what you did before you met and the things you enjoyed doing before you met him. Add that to what Geoff has written and get busy. Very busy. Don't sit on the pity pot and mope because that will do you no good and will pizz everyone off. Instead concentrate on you for the first time in a long while so you can be a healthy person again. YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU MUST!!!Good Luck and we are all here to support you.

Right now you also have to try your hardest to realize you're not in the best position to be making decisions right now. Your comfort zone just got completely pulled out from under you, and actions taken in that panic can only make things worse. Try to realize that right now you can't do any good for whatever chances of a relationship you may have, you can only do damage.

It's hard, but ask yourself, do you want him back? Or do you want that comfort zone back? Going back to somebody because they're in your comfort zone is no reason to start a relationship. Cut him out of your life for a while, then take a look at your life, after it's been improved by the steps you take to better yourself. When your life is better off without him, then you'll be able to make the decision on weather or not you actually want him back to make it even better. No contact. Trust me. You'll regret all contact you make. Check my thread too, https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ace-51288.html

I was in an abusive relationship, it's been 2 months since we broke up and I still want her back. Do I sound like somebody that's qualified to make an intelligent decision on my own relationship right now? Try to understand that when you're in an emotionally charged situation, you're the worst judge of what's best for you.