My ex boyfriend and I dating for 3 years and 10 months.. we broke up 1 week ago.he doesn't text me.. he said he is busy... it is not clear for me how he did this to me.he said he need time and space to fix himself,to think because he said he is confused he need break up.im very shocked of what he said.. so I cried in front of him because I really love him.I don't want him to leave me.. 2 days ago.. I confirmed that he is has a girlfriend(his co-worker).I really cried a lot.and I found out that they were in relationship while we were... two timing... so I let him go even it really hurts me. I really don't know what to do... I really hate him but I still love him... help me ***

Look, he has been cheating on you and has treated you like "just another girl". Leave him, I understand if you (at this point) think it is an impossible task since you two were together for quite some time and have recently broken up. But, give yourself time to heal and grieve in whatever way you feel you need to, keep your head up while taking care of the things you need to take care of like school or work, and cry when you need to. But remember, only time will take this pain away and sadly, there is really nothing you can do about it, you are just going to have to wait. Plus, I know you won't share this though with me now, but this guy doesn't deserve you with what he has done to you, so after you give yourself time to heal go out there and find someone who respects you and respects your relationship. Someone who you receive benefits (not materialistic only) from and who is man enough to have a faithful relationship with a girl like you, who is willing to love. Someone who is willing to love like you should be reciprocated by someone who can offer the same gift, so until you find the right person (which you will someday) keep your head up and move on with your life, don't get hanged up about one guy, especially one like this one, and do your own thing!

Good Luck,

Javi

I'm really sorry that you're going through this, but that there is nothing you can do to fix it. Your boyfriend is a cheating jerk.

I'm sure you feel devastated because he was unfaithful. Whether the two of you were having relationship problems prior to his cheating is irrelevant. If he was unhappy, he should have broken up with you, not cheated on you.

Cheating should never be excused as a rational approach to dealing with other problems within a relationship. Don’t let your self-esteem take a nosedive over this. Your boyfriend didn’t cheat because you weren’t good enough – he cheated because HE made a decision to do the wrong thing.

Most of the time when men leave one woman for another, it never works out. Also, keep in mind, that if he left you for her, he’ll l probably leave her for someone else. The honeymoon state of mind that he may be in with her will eventually turn into a routine, and then he'll get bored.

I know it's not easy, but you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on.

I think reading the stickies would help you get some good insights on your situation, and give you some excellent suggestions to help you move on.

Break ups suck for sure, but it always seems worse when the ex isn't honest about his intentions, and hasn't been for a long time.

I feel empty and nothing left... I want to ask him what I did wrong to him,why he left me... there's so many question in my mind.whenever I think of them... together... how I wish... my heart stop to beat and myself unconscious to end the pain that I felt.all I do is to love him all these years.. and want to be him for the rest of my life.why he cheated me, why he lied to me?but there's a part in my heart saying "come back to me, again."but I keep on asking myself... "can you bear it?"

Instead of starting new threads about the same thing, just respond here, and keep down the confusion.

We all have questions when we are betrayed, and rejected, and that has you in shock, because you just found out what he has known for a long time, his feelings changed, and he didn't tell you. You had no time to prepare, or protect yourself. It will take time to wrap your head around what has happened, and accept it.

Did you read the stickies??

Yes I read it

And??

It's easy to blame yourself for the break up. But think about it this way, if there was really something wrong with you, don't you think that he would have brought it up and tried to work it out with you? You said it yourself, he broke up with you out of nowhere. He didn't even give you a chance to repair the relationship, instead he decided to cheat on you. He doesn't sound too great from here.

Before you even worry about the break up, I suggest you pick yourself back up. Focus on yourself.

As Tal asked, what did you understand from the stickies?

Its really hard to do but I'm trying... no txting, calling, emailing... but I can't stop thinking of him.he is my first boyfriend and he is everything to me...
I'm trying... I'm trying... to move on.

The last we talk 5days ago... I run to him because I want to talk to him but he said he's busy working.. I ask him when he's free?he give specific date... before I leave that place I ask him if he still love me... he said NO!. I can't accept it.its almost 4 years we've been together... then, at that instant... he would say he doesn't love me anymore?. I run away..
The question is... is it worth to meet him or do I need to come on that day??

If he wanted to talk to you, he would make time. It wouldn't be so difficult to get a hold of him. He's letting you down easy by telling you that he's busy. Take the hint and walk away.

Every time you talk to him, you're going to reset the progress that you made. Did you have time to read the no contact threads in my signature?

No contact is extremely difficult, but it would make it easier for you to get over him.

Leave this guy alone. You are sounding desperate and that is not attractive especially when a guy has treated you like a door mat.
He cheated on you and has said he does not love you that is all you need to know.
I know this hurts but you need to stay away from him so you can heal. Don't lower yourself by begging him for an explanation or anything. Go NC and heal.

Its really hard to do but I'm trying... no txting, calling, emailing... but I can't stop thinking of him.he is my first boyfriend and he is everything to me...
I'm trying... I'm trying... to move on.

The last we talk 5days ago... I run to him because I want to talk to him but he said he's busy working.. I ask him when he's free?he give specific date... before I leave that place I ask him if he still love me... he said NO!. I can't accept it.its almost 4 years we've been together... then, at that instant... he would say he doesn't love me anymore?. I run away..
The question is... is it worth to meet him or do I need to come on that day??

No, don't continue to do that to yourself and let him hurt you. You said that he has moved on and said that he no longer loves you. If is is answers that you seek, as in why or what happened to change his feelings towards you, then I would say find out those answers. If someone just dumps someone with no apparent reason and moves on it makes the other person question what went wrong. It can eat at the person that was "dumped".

He sounds like the type of guy who isn’t worth getting upset over. If he were such a great guy he would have talked to you openly and provided some sort of reason for the breakup. My guess is that he’s been unhappy for quite a long time and has had the girlfriend while you were together.

I know you say you love him, but you really have to leave him alone. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself. Go complete no contact. I’m not going to lie to you. There’s really no way for you to hurt any less. You just have to learn to move on and get over him.

Just remember that he was only your first boyfriend, not your last.

What is there to talk about? He won't change his mind and meeting him only prolongs the pain, and misery of your situation.

And there is no need for a new post for questions about the same person. That's very confusing to others.