Should I break up with my girlfriend?
This is a long story. Don't feel like you have to read it unless you are willing to give genuine advice please!
So I started dating this girl 2 years ago in the summer. We really hit it off and summer ended meaning I would have to go to school (5 hours away from my hometown). We did the distance relationship pretty well because we were very good at communicating. She popped the love word a little early for my taste but I went with it (I wasn't faking it but I wasn't ready you know?) We continued our relationship through some very busy and important times (she took her nursing boards, I studied abroad for a short period, etc.) and the relationship seemed to be going endlessly up. One night in August a couple of her friends came to town from her freshman year of college. I had a miserable time (not a huge fan of the bar scene when I don't get to spend much time with my girlfriend). We only got to see each other a few times a week because she was working 2 jobs. We talked about that night the next day and it was bad. She said that she felt submissive, not like her self, and similar hurtful things. We basically dropped it after a large talk. I planned our second anniversary to go to Kansas City (every detail) and we went. She was miserable in KC and it was what I considered a perfect trip (other than the attitude). After we got back she said she needed time to think. So I naturally freaked and asked what about and she said the relationship. We talked 2 days after that. She said that she had this life plan- 5 years nursing, masters degree, teaching nursing then marriage. She also said that she absolutely had to move around to all these cities that she has never been ( she is from a small town so kind of wants to get the heck out of dodge). Then she said that she wants to do her missionary work in Africa and Central America and that on top of all this she wanted to have a vast social network. It didn't seem to add up to me but she said that it was all possible. She was working 60 hour work weeks at the time. Over the next couple of days we talked and it seemed as though she didn't care about the relationship as much as these other things and said she needed a break to figure out if she could ever put the relationship work. Great. So I broke down and cried while we set up rules for the break (no dating, have to pray, have to journal etc.) and left. Over the next few days all I did was mope. Nothing was right- food didn't taste, I couldn't get going in my workouts, my social life was shattered. I have sacrificed a lot of friendships for the relationship due to time constraints( about 2 hours a day on the phone, NCAA swim captain, biology major, etc.)Then I went and thought I could force her hand a bit because I thought that she was going through equal pain. We talked and I said I couldn't do a break and she held her ground- officially broken up. We talked a few times over the next two weeks. I moved up to school and one night we talked and I said again that I couldn't be in limbo anymore. The next night she said that she wanted to give it a shot. I felt relieved and somewhat at peace. Then she came up to visit and it was weird. She has visited twice more after that and one of the middle visit was awesome but this last one sucked. I have no desire to make her day anymore. I used to love waking up early to catch her before/after work. I used to love cooking for her and talking to her about her day. Now it is just fragmented stories about our days. Now I would rather go through my routines and save some time by not talking much. When I think about breaking up though I just don't know how I could look her in the eye and tell her that I don't love her or that it is just not going to work out. We know each other well enough that she knows what I am thinking about. She knows that the relationship is on the line and that I am acting funny. What should I do? I don't want to hurt her or keep her in limbo but I don't know if I will ever feel the same about her/us. What do you guys think I should do?