Ask Me Help Desk - Leave you because I love you.

Its all about my girlfriend. She told me we can not continue our relationship.
I asked why, the answer was she didn't deserve me.

Now is 2 day past from our breakup and the thing is really bothering me is she really had this opinion or it just was a way for being free without any blaming from me?

She is older than me, about 1 year
Her parent divorced when she was 10, now she live with her grandma.
She had some bad ending in her past relationships.
She always says I'm be the only one can make her happy and I'm the only one can make her life valuable.
She says she love me
She says I ( means me ) deserved someone better.

Maybe you say so, what is your problem now.

My problem is I'm not sure about what she say. And if I believe her story is it right to accept her breakup? Or I must do something about it?

I told her I'm the person who decide you deserve me or not, and I say yes you deserve me. She answer me but you have goal in your life and I don't have any goal in my life, she say I don't know what I want to do in my life, but you know, so I can't get you involved of something without ending.
She told them to me on the phone with crying.

What should I do?

Please help me I'm so confused.

I think that there's more than meets the eyes in this break up. Simply saying that she doesn't deserve you is like letting you down easy. My guess would be that she did something that makes her feel guilty and trying to console her conscience with you.

Actions speak louder than words.

Though she's saying all these things, the bottom line is that she wants a break up, regardless of what the reasons are.

You can explain to her what your feelings are, which I assume is that you want her back. But there's no guarantee that she wants you back.

Her actions demonstrate that she's not even willing to give it another shot, she doesn't even have the intention of trying to work things out. She just wants out. Unfortunately, you may have to respect her decision and move on from it.

It's easier said than done, but beating a dead horse isn't going to get you anywhere either. Her mind is set, do your best to accept her decision.

From my experience when a partner says,"I don't deserve you" is a way to get free without blaming you. Just like you said.

The best thing I think you can do at this point is move on yourself.
You really have no choice about accepting the breakup when it is her decision.
Many will hang on begging and pleading which only delays the start of healing which is what you need to start to do now.

Stop all contact. No phone calls, texts, Facebook or anything similar.
It is not easy. It doesn't happen fast. But it is the road to recovery.
It is the best way to get the pain to diminish.

Keep yourself busy with hobbies, friends, family or whatever you like to do.
But set your mind to be moving on from here.

I wish you well

Quote:

Originally Posted by I wish

I think that there's more than meets the eyes in this break up. Simply saying that she doesn't deserve you is like letting you down easy. My guess would be that she did something that makes her feel guilty and trying to console her conscience with you.

Actions speak louder than words.

Though she's saying all these things, the bottom line is that she wants a break up, regardless of what the reasons are.

You can explain to her what your feelings are, which I assume is that you want her back. But there's no guarantee that she wants you back.

Her actions demonstrate that she's not even willing to give it another shot, she doesn't even have the intention of trying to work things out. She just wants out. Unfortunately, you may have to respect her decision and move on from it.

It's easier said than done, but beating a dead horse isn't going to get you anywhere either. Her mind is set, do your best to accept her decision.

I agree with all things you said. I didn't mention that she feel guilty about many thing in our relationship. She doesn't have family but I have, she had a lot of hit in her relationships, I'm working hard but she doesn't, I try for everything I want in my life and she doesn't. All the people around us always says these things about us. I tried really hard to show him we are in a same level but the fact is the fact.

And unfortunately she have some bad friends, they teach him many thing about hating life. When 2 days ago we were in our last call, she told me she doesn't want to be alive, she's useless and she hate herself. She told me she's not sure about our relationship and doesn't want to waste my time and my life. Actually who breaks up was me. It was a deal, I said if you can't have any goal in our relationship and our life so break up. I suggest the break up and she accept that. Cause of this fact I want to do anything logical
Make her back, yeah... I know logic play less than emotion in a relationship.

I really own you guys because you trying to help, just thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by martinizing2

From my experience when a partner says,"I don't deserve you" is a way to get free without blaming you. Just like you said.

The best thing I think you can do at this point is move on yourself.
You really have no choice about accepting the breakup when it is her decision.
Many will hang on begging and pleading which only delays the start of healing which is what you need to start to do now.

Stop all contact. No phone calls, texts, Facebook or anything similar.
It is not easy. It doesn't happen fast. But it is the road to recovery.
It is the best way to get the pain to diminish.

Keep yourself busy with hobbies, friends, family or whatever you like to do.
But set your mind to be moving on from here.

I wish you well

Thanks man

I think about it a lot, but when someone wants to be free with this trick, its obvious, she doesn't show you her feeling and emotions, she doesn't say if its OK for you to don't have any goal, so lets continue. I know that there is something more than a simple break up.
I think she feels guilty about something like I wish said.

So lets think she feel guilty about something, what should I do? Trying to see the fact?
Or leave it alone?

Be with her or forget her?

I mean can I do something about it?

Its all about that I want to be human, I don't want to be like other guys harm her emotions. I don't want to do something bother her.

What's your opinion?

Quote:

Originally Posted by alifath1234

thanks man

i think about it a lot, but when someone wants to be free with this trick, its obvious, she doesn't show you her feeling and emotions, she doesn't say if its OK for you to don't have any goal, so lets continue. i know that there is something more than a simple break up.
i think she feels guilty about something like I wish said.

so lets think she feel guilty about something, what should i do? trying to see the fact??
or leave it alone??

be with her or forget her??

i mean can i do something about it?

its all about that i want to be human, i don't want to be like other guys harm her emotions. i don't want to do something bother her.

whats your opinion?

Even if you mentioned breaking up; she is still the one who initiated the actual breakup. You are not innocent , but you are not to blame.

At this point I don't see where it matters if you find out what she may be covering up.
It is evident that her mind is made up and she is not going to try to fix the relationship.

It is admirable that you don't want to cause her emotional harm in retaliation for the emotional harm you are receiving from her.

My opinion is:

Leave her alone

Forget her.

There is nothing you can do about it.

I am sorry. I know how you feel and how hard this is to accept.

But it is the best thing for you right now. Begin to heal.

Time to let this go my friend, and seek better options, and opportunities. The reasons she wants a break up, don't matter if that's what she wants.

Guys, I made my decision. If she want a break up, so I give him what she want. I'm trying to heal myself. There is very kind girl want to have relationship with me, wait to forget ex or just play new life?

Give yourself more time to heal from the break up before you start a new relationship. Don't stop yourself from making new friends, but you don't need a rebound so quick. Focus on recoverying from the break up first.

I did the breakup with new one too.
I don't now my friends, maybe its something about me.
I feel suck, every experience is more harmful than others.
Help me friends.

99% of life is about your attitude in the way you view yourself and the world. If you see your break up as a challenge, and an opportunity to make new friends and find, and do things you enjoy, AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS, then I think you will explore your world and find out where you fit in it.

After a break up, its easy to feel sad, and isolated. But through family, friends, and NEW friends, we can find many reasons to grow, and experience healthy happy life.

Read the stickies and you find the main thing to do after a break up, is to enjoy yourself, without depending on another to make you happy.

Talaniman Rule-Build a life that you enjoy without a mate and your happiness will attract people who will want to share in it with you.