My girlfriend just asked me for "break"
Threads merged
My girlfriend just asked me for "break" as well. She is a very dreamy person to begin with, she always talked about how our relationship puts in in the "dreamland". The relationship is very long distance (11000 miles). She is 29, she is been talking about marriage, and her own family, in addition, she is unhappy with her job. She also has bunch of traveling to do for her work, so she is been stressed. Couple of weeks ago, we had a huge fight, and I really got angry, because she is the one who had been expressing how much she loved me, and I was the guy for her, yet I found her having an active profile on a dating site. I knew she used to do that, but I had asked her if she continues to do that, and she had assured me that she had stopped. I found out she was active right after I had come back from visiting her, and it really pissed me off that I put all the effort, and she is still doing this.
Anyway, to cut the story short, I started telling her that if she does this kind of thing, it will not work, than she lied to me saying she went there to close the account, and I know she was lying, so that is when I got angry, and the argument got heated. For sure,that was not my best moment, and lacked proper communication, I take blame for that. We tried to put the relationship back together, and but it had not been the same. I began to feel her distancing from me, and finally I found out that she was trying to date another guy. We went back and forth, and she said she had been unhappy ever since that argument because she went from "dreamland" to "wonderland(confusion). She said, I am too unstable with my mood which at times I have questioned the relationship because of the long distance, and because our relationship began very intense(on her part), she said she loved me without ever seeing me, and in a short time(we were introduced by our parents). So I was always unsettled about the "love" issue, because how can someone love anybody in a short time, just by phone calls, emails, and few exchanges of pictures?
So, I have not been the best boyfriend either, I am very busy with work, and she says that she always has to put energy to bring me back into this relationship, that I neglect her, and have not "secured" this relationship. I love her, and want to make this work, but now she is asking for a 1.5 month break until she comes back from her trips, and decide whether she wants to resume this relationship. By the way, to make matters more complicated, the way I found out she was beginning to date another guy was that one of my best friends got involved to help me, because already the trust issue had been eroded somewhat. She was pissed even more that a third person was involved in the relationship. I know this relationship has had huge strains, and problems, and getting back together is probably unlikely, but what would be your advice for me to enhance my chances of restoring this relationship? Of course I will do my part, but she will also have to do her part. Thank you all.
Can one fall in love within two weeks without ever physically meet?
In my previous question, I had talked about my girlfriend(now ex) and how she wanted to take a break for 1.5 months to figure out if she was exhausted from our relationship, or it was other things in her life(job, travel) that was making her exhausted. I did not want to accept the long break for several reasons: We had a huge fight that lead to the "break" decision, because she was trying to date/establish relationship with another guy(her excuse, she was exhausted by our relationship), I found that out, and accused her of dishonesty and betrayal. This further depressed her, and she said that at the point she was feeling totally indifferent about her life, herself, and me. Second reason was that I believe in a truly loving relationship, a break of few days may be OK to let the dust settle, but 1.5 months means total cease of communication, and if you truly love somebody, you would want to work things out. Because of those reasons, I did not accept the break, and just ended the relationship. I also wanted a clear break(not this limbo) in order for both of us to assess the situation. Now, let me get back to the original question:
This is the same girl that told me she "loved" me without ever physically seeing me. After two weeks of email exchanges, two to three phone calls, and couple of picture exchanges, she was extremely intense, and said she loved me. The relationship was always long distance. When I would ask her what she loved about me, she could not be specific. I gave her the benefit of doubt, normally I don't in such cases. Then after 5 months, and couple of arguments (she also says she invested a lot more energy in this relationship than I did, in reality however that is really not the case)she suddenly says she feels indifferent.
Do you think love can happen in such short time and under such circumstance? What do you think about the extreme emotional up and down? By the fifth month, I was beginning to have a lot of feeling for her, do you think I should write her in about two months when she will be done with most of her travel, and see what she feels like, or do you think the whole thing was messed up to begin with?
By the way, we did finally meet when I traveled to see her, my instinct told me that she did not find me as attractive as my pictures (she kept saying you don't look like your picture), and the intensity we felt online/telephone was also not there when we met, but it was not bad either.
Can someone fall in love within two weeks without physically meeting?
I don't know why my post got deleted, or never posted, so I am reposting:
