My girlfriend wants to take a break
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I met my girlfriend at my first year of college. She is in her second year of college. We met, and she is my first love. I am her 6 partner. We have been dating for 8 months. She is from Guam, and I am from California. We both go to school in California, and live on campus. It is now summer, and we both went back home, her to Guam, me back to where I live in California. She met up with her ex in less than a week of her arriving back on Guam. Her ex and her dated for ~1-2 months last summer. (We met at the beginning of the school year. With in a month of her leaving her ex. While we first dated she told me she still loved her ex.) When she met him again this summer, he said "leaving her was the worst mistake of his life" she said that her ex promised her that he would love, be there for her, etc... I did all of that to her when we were together at school, and do what I can via email/phone. My girlfriend wants me to be there for her and hold every night (which I did while together in school). She got pregnant, (which I was not the first person to be told, yet the 5th and the other people she told were not family but some friends. Her mom still does not know.) She had an abortion, which ultimately was her decision to do. She says she has nightmares about the unborn child and things bother her because of it. This causes a large amount of stress for both of us. I am always there to help her thought it. She has only attempted to help me through it once.
I was talking to her and she said she wanted to take a break for the summer. Her one of her reason is "sometimes i feel like i wanna go on a break, just because i miss you too much and its really hard for me not to have you here, because you're such a huge part of my life and you help me deal with the abortion" "i just wanna go on a break so that i can have "more fun" " What does "more fun" mean We do have sex, and often I can make her orgasm with my p****, which she said out of her other 5 partner have never been able to do. I don't know if that is relevant, but what "more fun" meant to me me was that she is a slut and wants more p**** in her? She did cheat on her first boyfriend.
I took this as it was over. I handled it (or what I thought it was) as an adult, and told her if it would help, then we should go on a break. Told her to do what is best for her, that she need to think about herself first. (I personal fail to do this, I always put ALL of her needs before any of mine, but I have been working on it). She then got mad at me and said that "you came off as though you didnt give a what happened to us. you didnt.. fight for us". When ever we talk and I tell her that I love her, she says "no you don't" however this is always when she is not happy. It is not when she is mad, but just in any mood other than happy. After this happened she started to blame it on the nightmares. This also happened before her and her family leave for a 20 day vacation. So now I can not talk to her.
I am some poor boy for nowhere, where everybody is meant to grow up and work construction. She is a very smart (4.3 gpa) and a model. I don't know how I ever convinced her to like me, but I did it.
What would you do? I don't know what to do, I have two friends who have never had girlfriends. I am a poor, looser boy, that is confused and needs help.
My girlfriend asked why I am not responding to her sexual comments.
Frist of all, my girlfriend and I go to college together. She is from Guam, and I am from Califorina. We both went back home for the summer. We keep in contact over email.
We message each other and she is always hinting at sex. However, while we were together in school we would have sex, but a couple of times a week (not a lot but not a little either). Nearing the end of the school year, she would keep leading me on, i.e. giving me blue balls. Like indicating that she wants to give head, but won't. Now this does not bother me at all, and I have told her that.
I have told her this many times before: "That the reason i am with her is not for sex, or the way she looks but because i love her and her personality."
In one message she said "Why don't you ever respond to the sexual things I say? You don't find me attractive anymore? :( " This is not true, because I still find her extremely beautiful. But I am offended at why she does not know/forgot why I do not respond to them as I have told her many times. I am not sure as to how to handle this situation.
So I broke up with my girlfriend
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So my girlfriend I and were having problems over summer. When we got back to school (we are both in college) it went OK for about a week. Then she wanted to take a break, and I was opposed to this and said we should just break up, so we did. Later that night she showed up at my room and wanted to get back together. We did. Then 5 days later, she wanted to take a break again, because she wanted to figure out who she was, again I was opposed and thought that we should just break up. She convinced me that she loved me and told me that we are going to get back together when she was ready. Before I left she said "i still love you, and we arn't broken up, and we are going to get back together soon." Then next night she went to a party and hooked up with a guy. She waited 4 days then told this to me. Naturally I felt betrayed, and angered. I broke up with here. While we were talking she kept urging me to yell at her, call her names, and hit her. I did none of these, as I know that would not help me. I did tell here how I felt about it.
I would like to know if how I handled the situation was a proper way? I also see here around campus, and have no intent to, but what would be an appropriate way to talk to her if needed? Is it rude to walk past her and not acknowledge that she is there? How do I deal with the anger of this? Is it wrong that I do not feel sad about not being with her anymore? By the way she was my first love.
-thank you
Should you be there for them?
My ex girlfriend got pregnant, and it was her decision to have an abortion. I regret the decision and get saddened sometimes when I think about it. After we broke up she said that she would be there for me when I needed help dealing with it, I told her that I would help her deal with it also.
While we were together, she had a hard time dealing with it also. I always helped to the best of my ability to ease the pain. But when ever I was feeling down she never tried very hard to make me feel better.
She has called me multiple times when she needed help (post break-up) and I helped her through it. I have called her a few times, and she has never helped me or tried to help me. She also only calls me when her new boyfriend is not there, for casual conversation.
I have no intention of getting back with her. I see her at college often, so I want whatever will make these "visits" the least awkward.
My question is should I continue helping her, even thought I feel she will never help me?