Ask Me Help Desk - In love with a girl who has a boyfriend

Well as you can see by the title I'm in love with a girl who has a boyfriend.
I normaly don't chase after girls or feel anything like this about anyone, but she's different. She captures my interest , if I'm having a terrible day it just completely turns around by talking to her. We share the same interests in movies, and music. Now here's where we have a little difficulty. She has a boyfriend. From what I here he is not very much liked by any of his peers and is just a terrible influence on her. (wont go to into that) please help me out.

Obviously she is not looking for a boyfriend, because she already has one.

You have heard a lot of gossip it seems as to his character, and he is some sort of bad influence.

But, she chose him.

Other than sharing some mutual, general interests, has she indicated in any way that she is interested in you as a boyfriend?

Be careful not to be the rebound guy. Too many jump from the frying pan into the fire, without dealing with the loss of the first relationship first.

Hi, jb723!

Have you spent a lot of time with her in the past? Also, how old are you and she, please?

Thanks!

I know the feeling (read my post a few down) and it's a tough road to follow. If you think that she feels the same way then when the time is right, just tell her exactly how you feel. But be prepared, if she doesn't feel the same way you'll have lost someone you enjoy spending time with but if she returns the feelings and breaks up with her boyfriend, give her time to sort things out.

Check out thses guidelines: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ip-463250.html

It's all about facing the consequences of your actions.

However, I would point out that because you have an interest in her, then you might be twisting her good things into thinking that she likes you too. Whether those things are true or not, it's still false hope and you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

Forget about her. She's already taken and is totally off limits.

Go out and find a girl of your own, don't hit on somebody else's.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devorameira

Forget about her. She's already taken and is totally off limits.

Go out and find a girl of your own, don't hit on somebody elses.

If it was that easy I would have done that a looooonnnnnggg time ago.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, jb723!

Have you spent a lot of time with her in the past? Also, how old are you and she, please?

Thanks!

I met her about a year ago she is 16 and I'm a year older.

So if she was YOUR GF , how would you feel if someone else was after her??

I'm sorry, but there are som many things wrong with this situation.. I'm just going to make a list:

1. she is TAKEN
2. If she was interested, if this is the case and she breaks up with him to be with you.. would you trust her? Really? Or would you be happy at first but then when she gets new male friends you'll start thinking.. daaaang.. maybe she'll dump ME for someone else?

3. You're 17 and I say this from a warm and caring place, even if it sounds hard... there will be other girls. Maybe ones that are even... well more right.

You might feel like its time to have a GF because you're 17 and you haven't found anyone else that's suitable for you.. but that will change. After HS comes what? A whole other life. A chance to broaden your horizons and meet new people who are not from where ever you live at the moment.

4. and like friend4U asked: How would you feel if the situation was different? If she was your GF and than some guy came and chased after her... how would you feel if he was successful?

5. I don't know in depth how you interpret her the "signals" she's sending you. But I do know that sometimes people read signals wrong. Being nice can signalise that she is a nice person, that you have a lot incommon and get along can be just that... she isn't nec. Interessted.

My besta dvice for you... don't pursue it and if you are going to pursue it at least be open and honest with her about it. Tell her falt out and ask what your chances are and yes you run the risk of being rejected or even losing a friend. But than you get your answer.

I really don't see it as fair to chase someone else's GF or BF for that matter. It is just disrespectful For both of the people in that relationship. By pursueing her you're not only dissing him you're dissing her... by not respecting the fact that these two people have chosen to be in a relationship together.

So you want to "rescue" her from her boyfriend?

Well, from the sounds of things, she is not sending up the white flag, and you are climbing a slippery slope. This is crossing the line. The line that most men know exists. It is an unspoken rule that you never try to take another man's girl. Don't give it a second thought.

When, and if, she leaves this "bad influence", then, and only then, can you make your move.

Until then, behave.

The world is full of girls that aren't taken, go find one of your own.

Good luck to you.

You are just fooling yourself with all that talk of her boyfriend not being good to her. Trust me I've been on this road, all you can do is forget, or hope someday they'll eventually break up normally, but don't put your life on hold. Sure it's hard when you really like someone, but you have to anyway.

Today when I see her, I just admire her for what she is, it's like when you see a Ferrari on the road, you look at it, you think "wow that's awesome" but then it goes away and you keep on with your life knowing you can't have it :p. Sorry.

Quote:

Originally Posted by roxypox

I'm sorry, but there are som many things wrong with this situation.. I'm just gonna make a list:

1. she is TAKEN
2. If she was interested, if this is the case and she breaks up with him to be with you.. would you trust her? really? Or would you be happy at first but then when she gets new male friends you'll start thinking.. daaaang.. maybe she'll dump ME for someone else?

3. You're 17 and I say this from a warm and caring place, even if it sounds hard... there will be other girls. Maybe ones that are even... well more right.

you might feel like its time to have a GF b/c you're 17 and you haven't found anyone else thats suitable for you.. but that will change. After HS comes what? A whole other life. A chance to broaden your horizons and meet new people who are not from where ever you live at the moment.

4. and like friend4U asked: How would you feel if the situation was different? If she was your GF and than some guy came and chased after her... how would you feel if he was successful?

5. I don't know in depth how you interpret her the "signals" she's sending you. But I do know that sometimes people read signals wrong. Being nice can signalise that she is a nice person, that you have a lot incommon and get along can be just that... she isn't nec. interessted.

my besta dvice for you... don't pursue it and if you are going to pursue it at least be open and honest with her about it. Tell her falt out and ask what your chances are and yes you run the risk of being rejected or even loosing a friend. But than you get your answer.

I really don't see it as fair to chase someone elses GF or BF for that matter. It is just disrespectful For both of the people in that relationship. By pursueing her you're not only dissing him you're dissing her.... by not respecting the fact that these two people have chosen to be in a relationship together.

First of all great list
Second if she has a boyfriend do like what these guys are saying don't try to take her away because maybe she will be taken away from you and that is wayyyyy worse than hoping that she might like you trust me.
Third try to limit the conversations try to think of the boyfriend if he is a jerk just tell him to act a little nicer to him. Im not saying like get in his face and say it I mean in a nice tone just politely tell him

Hope this helps you and anyone else reading this