My long distance girlfriend and our sex life.
I started speaking to this girl from a mutual friend. We got on very well, but we lived a bit of a distance away from each other. I've been with her for 6 months now. We talk every day on Skype. I see her about once a month, and during the first few visits, I had intermittent erection problems. The third time she was on her period. The fourth time my erection issues disappeared and we had sex around 8 times in the space of 3 days.
Now, the last time I visited her, I was with her for 6 days and we had sex twice. Both times she wasn't as into it as she used to be and they probably, cumulatively lasted less than an hour. She knew that she wouldn't be able to see me for another 3 months. I thought this was a little odd and asked her about it; she said that she's always had a low sex drive, more or less.
Now we've just had a big chat about it and she honestly doesn't seem to really care about sex. She's said she'd be a bit disappointed if she didn't have sex once a week, and her general tone just didn't suggest a lot of enthusiasm. I now feel like I'm not very good in bed. She even used the phrase "I do like sex, it's just.. I don't have the highest sex drive". She doesn't seem particularly interested in making it any better. We always rush through sex; whenever I want to take it slow with foreplay, she'll just beg for penetration and then it's done.
I honestly don't feel very attractive right now. Is it unreasonable to think that a healthy sex life between a couple who don't see each other very often is around once a day, especially between a couple who've been going out for a few months?
Also, she doesn't like kissing. She never talks about it, just that it feels weird. I ask if there's anything I can do to make it easier; if it's my breath, I'll go brush my teeth and gargle some water. If I'm a bad kisser, I say let's practise, or just kiss me how she'd like to be kissed. She doesn't budge. To date, we've never kissed for more than a few seconds or "made out".
I feel incredibly trivial and shallow writing all this down. She's a great girl and till now, I thought I was in love with her, because I've honestly never felt like this about anyone. But I start to think why, if I am, I'm this worried about the amount of sex and physical intimacy we have and why I can't just be happy enjoying her company.
We're both 18, if this makes a difference. Do you think we're sexually incompatible? I lost my virginity to her. I just enjoy sex and I'm interested in trying out new things or making our sex life healthier, whereas it just seems like it's a mildly enjoyable chore to her. I feel shallow even bringing this up to her.
Help! If I sound incredibly immature, you can say so. This is my first serious relationship.