Would staying friends have made a difference?
I'm feeling a bit better about my situation, trying to start moving on, but I have one lingering thought which continues to plague me...
After my ex broke up with me for another girl, he wanted to remain friends, to which I said "no" because I wanted him as more that just a friend and it would have been too hard. So I went into no contact from my side to get over it all. He continued to email me and leave the occasional voice message while I was at work. I tried to reply as kindly as I could, hoping he wanted to reconcile and had missed me... but anytime I asked him why he had contacted me again his answer was "I was hoping we could be friends. I never want to lose touch with you." I would tell him, "I'm sorry, but I can't". I didn't want to be in the dreaded "friend zone". He would leave me alone a month or so, then... same thing, which leads to what happened recently.
A couple of weeks ago I found out he is now living with the girl he dumped me for. I still feel a lot of pain over all of this and I am wondering if I had stayed in touch as friends and been around him more, acted like I didn't care, and possibly even visited him in his city as we had planned before ethe breakup... would it have made a difference in this outcome? Would it have reminded him of the good times we shared? Would that have possibly gotten him back? I feel like since I took myself out of the picture he just forgot me and moved in with her, which I'm really hurt over. I know it's stupid and unhealthy to even wonder about all of this or "what ifs" in general, but I find myself doing so anyway. I really cared about this guy and wanted this situation to work out between us.
Did I handle things right by not being his friend? I wound up with an even worse broken heart anyway... :(