Recently I made a stupid mistake. I told my adult daughter that my ex-husband, her father, had not intended to leave in his will, equal amounts with her sister. Her sister told him that she didn't want anything if he didn't make it equal. This happened over ten years ago before my youngest daughter had bonded with him. I suspect that I was jealous even though I had hoped that they would eventually bond. Now my daughter isn't speaking to me and when I asked for her forgiveness she looked at me as though she hated me.

Your daughter hasn't spoken to you for ten years?

I think the best you can do is apologize in person, sincerely, but if that fails, write her a letter and say what you've said here - "I was jealous" and maybe add that you were trying to cause a problem in her relationship with your "ex," that you were jealous - whatever.

And that's about all you can do.

10 years is way to long, and pretty tough. I agree with the comment before me. Talking face to face is the best suggestion. Show her how you really feel, no lying no holding back. She is still your daughter and has love for you.. . People just make mistakes sometimes

Perhaps write to her.

Outlining how you felt and why,with a letter she can read it over and over again,and maybe soften towards you.

What do you do when you have talked face to face? I asked forgiveness, answer was no.. Emotionally devistated..

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Originally Posted by SheilaM14

What do you do when you have talked face to face?? I asked forgiveness, answer was no.. emotionally devistated..

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I have no idea what your situation is or was. Apparently something happened for which you have asked to be forgiven. The other party chooses not to forgive you.

There is little you can do at this point.

Without knowing more about what happened it is impossible to say what course you should take. Sometimes you just have to walk away and let things be as they are for a period and when some time has gone by, some healing has happened, try again.

You told her the truth about a decision that was not yours.
Why do you need to be forgiven for that?

If children get an inheritance , at all that is good, But why should they expect anything?
That is the parents money and entirely up to them what happens to it.

I would say to her that is was not your decision , and it is unfair to be angry at you.
But it sounds like she is not ready to be reasonable , in which case you can do little. I'm sorry.

I wish you well.

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Originally Posted by martinizing2

You told her the truth about a decision that was not yours.
Why do you need to be forgiven for that?

If children get an inheritance , at all that is good, But why should they expect anything?
That is the parents money and entirely up to them what happens to it.

I would say to her that is was not your decision , and it is unfair to be angry at you.
But it sounds like she is not ready to be reasonable , in which case you can do little. I'm sorry.

I wish you well.

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You answered someone who piggy backed. That person did not say what the problem is.

The original OP posted about inheritance and parents' money and so forth but the person I answered did not post that problem.

I have asked that the piggyback be split off but I don't think anyone has been here to do that.