My boyfriend just ended a very very bitter marriage over the course of a year and a half separation/breakup with his ex wife. Their divorce papers recently cleared through, but a couple nights ago (they haven't talked since they initially separated over a year ago) he sent her a friend request on myspace with a message that they should keep in touch and whatnot. I was wondering if this kind of behavior should be considered cheating, or at the very least, grounds for cheating- by which I should end our relationship or stay on a close lookout. Every other time he mentioned his ex wife to me (and/or friends) his comments were extremely negative so I'm puzzled at the fact that he wants to communicate with her again. Please offer your support/advice. Thanks so much!

Have you asked him why he did this? I would.

No its 5am here and I haven't talked to him yet. Honestly, I don't even know what to say to him

Ask him why when next you talk to him-honest,calm communication and then you'll know.

I would certainly ask him about it, and it may be he just wants things on a more cordial footing. Do they have kids together? Are you still in high school?

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Originally Posted by rawr_itssonya

my bf just ended a very very bitter marriage over the course of a year and a half separation/breakup with his ex wife. their divorce papers recently cleared through, but a couple nights ago (they haven't talked since they initially separated over a year ago) he sent her a friend request on myspace with a message that they should keep in touch and whatnot. i was wondering if this kind of behavior should be considered cheating, or at the very least, grounds for cheating- by which i should end our relationship or stay on a close lookout. every other time he mentioned his ex wife to me (and/or friends) his comments were extremely negative so im puzzled at the fact that he wants to communicate with her again. please offer your support/advice. thanx so much!

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When did you find out about the Friend Request that he sent a couple of days ago? How did you find out about the friend request?

It could be that he has decided to let the hurt and pain go now the papers are signed. Did you expect him to keep 'bad-mouthing' her for the rest of his life? Holding on to that kind of anger and hurt usually twists the person's perception of relationships causing him/her to end up pushing away current/future mates.

Please explain how reaching out an olive branch to an ex after a bitter divorce is cheating or grounds for cheating. Do you feel the same way about every other female he befriends on MySpace?

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Originally Posted by rawr_itssonya

...every other time he mentioned his ex wife to me (and/or friends) his comments were extremely negative so im puzzled at the fact that he wants to communicate with her again.

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As well you should be. It's not cheating like Cat mentioned, but it's definitely peculiar. If you ask him about it and he immediately gets defensive, he would look even more suspect.

In my opinion, the reason behind it is he's not over her, as it's evident in the fact he paints her in a bad light.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ip-400538.html

If this is the same guy, you have more to correct than just the way he deals with his ex wife. You have not mention children, or your age but your profile says your still in High school, so maybe you don't have the tools, or experience yet to deal with this situation.

If he has children, he will have to deal with the ex for the rest of his life. Any way around it, he has a history with his ex. Just keep an eye on the situation, but don't tell him that you've been snooping on his Facebook page.

If you truly think you can't trust him - leave him.

He doesn't have children, and yes I'm out of high school. We talked about it and he says he does it as a joke to try to see if she will actually respond(they haven't talked since she kicked him out). I don't know what to think anymore so I decided instead of being so insecure with myself I should just leave it alone. It really is none of my business, but I guess I was just afraid he wanted her back. Things have returned to normal for us, but I still keep my eyes open for anything else that seems suspicious

If I had a bad break-up, I surely wouldn't be "joking around" with my ex. As they say - "let dead dogs lie".

Keep your eyes open - seems like odd behavior to me.

That excuse is WORSE than the behavior. What kind of joke is that?

You actually bought that?

WOW I can't believe that was his excuse. Well if he ever did cheat on you at least you would def know. He is the worse liar ever!

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Originally Posted by rawr_itssonya

he doesn't have children, and yes i'm out of highschool. we talked about it and he says he does it as a joke to try to see if she will actually respond(they haven't talked since she kicked him out). i dunno what to think anymore so i decided instead of being so insecure with myself i should just leave it alone. it really is none of my business, but i guess i was just afraid he wanted her back. things have returned to normal for us, but i still keep my eyes open for anything else that seems suspicious

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Just say it makes you uncomfortable and you would prefer that he didn't contact her. Ask him if, as a favor to you, he would refrain from doing that. You could say you don't see anything good coming of it. Then see what he says. You are perfectly within your rights to say how you feel. If he cares about you, he'll stop with whatever games he is up to. If he continues, then he's sending you a message that whatever he is up to is more important than getting along with you. Simple.